Chapter 3

The next time vanilla struck, it almost ruined my friendship with Stacy. She had been dating Ryan for a number of weeks. They hadn’t gone all the way yet, although they had certainly messed around plenty. She expected it was going to happen this night, though; her parents were staying out late, so the two of them would have her house to themselves for hours. First, though, the three of us were going to take in an afternoon showing of the latest big-budget action movie. I could tell Stacy was doing her best to be appealing: her makeup was prettier and less angry-looking than normal, and she was wearing a miniskirt instead of jeans or cargo pants. She was also wearing perfume for the first time; unfortunately, that perfume was vanilla-based.

It took a while to kick in. I didn’t really notice much on the bus ride to the theater; I guess I was just sort of distracted, and spent more time than normal looking at guys’ butts. It got stronger as we sat in the theater watching previews. I couldn’t stop thinking about sex, and the gorgeous guy sitting next to me. I wanted him to fuck me - I needed him to. I tried to put those thoughts out of my head, but nothing else would stay in their place. It was like an itch in my mind that I desperately needed to scratch. As the movie began to play, I dug my hands into my crotch to try to soothe the feeling, but that didn’t help. I’ve heard friends describe anxiety attacks, where your body desperately screams at you, “you must get out of this situation”, even though it doesn’t make sense. I guess it was kinda like that. It wasn’t exactly fear, and it wasn’t exactly pain, but it was just as powerful - just as unbearable. Eventually, I had to do the only thing I could to make the feeling stop, even though I knew it was really really bad. I whispered to Ryan, “Come with me, please. It’s really important.”