Chapter 33

I woke up late Sunday, Dad was long gone to work his first double shift of the week. I had chores to do, but only one item was from Dad’s list. After a nice breakfast, and a truly delightful glass of instant fresh squeezed OJ, I got to work.

‘Adam, I need to know the email addresses of Dad’s bosses, the entire chain of command.’

‘I’ve added then to your phone, they are in a Google Keep list. They are numbered, each number is the next man up.’

‘How many?’

‘There are eighteen people between your father and the CEO of the company that owns the company that operates the prison.’

‘That’s insane. The address labeled number one is Dad’s direct boss?’

‘That is correct.’

‘Why is he being such a dick about hiring people?’ I asked.

‘Company regulations call for eight people to staff your father’s department, plus the manager. They also allow up to twelve actual hires to allow for vacations, and time off. Your father’s boss is pocketing the income of three of the hires, and using the income from other non-existent hires to cover his overtime costs.’

‘I was right, he’s a dick. He can’t be the only one who knows he’s doing this?’

‘Correct, with the assistance of the prison comptroller, five different departments are running similar scams. It only works because the comptroller is also head of the HR department and reviews all worker complaints personally.’

‘Dad said number two on the list works outside the prison, he’s not involved is he?’

‘He is aware of the scam, but because the fake employees opt out of healthcare coverage, he is under budget. The more that the prison operations run under budget, the larger his year end bonus.’

‘So who is the lowest number on the list who doesn’t know about it, and isn’t profiting from it?’

‘They are all profiting from it, if only in a minor way as it is increasing the yearly performance bonuses of all prison facilities management.’

‘Can you create a chart, like a family tree, that shows every employee in the company, but highlight in red all the fake employees, and what they are being paid?’

‘Done, it is a 4mb jpeg in your downloads folder on your phone. Employees who know are highlighted in green, and employees actively committing fraud, like the comptroller and your Dad’s boss are highlighted in yellow.’

‘I’m thinking that I should just email it to the CEO, and let him know that his performance bonus is being reduced because employees are stealing from the company.’

‘I suggest using a cut out so that there is no trace back to you, or your father.’

‘Any chance of making money from this?’

‘Short sell the company stock, and send the information to the news services.’

‘What about sending it to the CEO and pretending to be a detective agency that stumbled upon the information. Provide part of it, and then offer to be hired for the remainder.’

‘That would be a method, as would sending the whole thing, and asking for payment for work in exchange for not providing it to the press.’

‘Too much like blackmail. We should do the detective thing anyway. With your abilities, no secret can stay hidden. We will just make it expensive, any secret, any investigation, one million dollars to start, but it goes higher depending on what the request is.’

‘Done, registered in the Caymans. Metaverse Investigations, every secret laid bare, for a price.’

‘Nice, have no email address, just a box where they can type what they want to know. Don’t ask for any personal information. Have the response go to their personal email account, and use their real name, and then provide the price and directions for payment. If that doesn’t convince them we can deliver, nothing will.’

‘What if we are contacted by a government?’

‘Depends on what they want to know.’

‘Done. Now about your Dad,’ Adam asked.

‘I really don’t know. Maybe I can ask Dad about it.’

‘Your choice, it’s not like the problem is going anywhere.’

‘Alright, time for item two.’

It took me half an hour to get a stable space gate set, and a team of three Mr Meeseeks moving boxes from the garage to the attic. Once they were set, I headed for the kitchen.

‘Adam, what are the three top rated panna cotta recipes?’

The pictures displayed on the fridge screen of the different products. I snapped a picture, I’d need to taste them to see which I thought was best. Then I had a brilliant idea.

‘Adam, can you provide Ms Hernandez’s mother’s panna cotta recipe?’

‘Of course. Would you like to compare it to the others? There are only minor differences between them.’

‘Let me pull these three, and then if you have a picture of her Mom’s version, I can compare all four.’

I took a few moments to reach into my phone and pull out three panna cotta dishes. A quick snapshot, and screenshot of her mother’s dish, and I set them on the table. I grabbed a spoon, and took a bite of the first.

A drink of water between tastings let me taste each one individually. Then I gave them the jiggle test, and poked them to test how solid they were. My digital cooking thermometer showed them all at about the same temperature. I waited for them to come to room temperature, then tested them again.

‘I like this one the best.’ I told Adam.

‘That is the simplest recipe, but it does not hold it’s shape as well as the others if unmolded.’