Chapter 20

I ate most of the food in the freezer by the time I was done. I had it turn into a cube that I set onto the counter because the scan rate of the laser TV projection was giving me a headache, and it could only do a better job if it wasn’t attached to me while I moved around.

“I think I’m finally feeling full and mentally awake, even though I’m still tired.”

‘Good, because we need to talk about how to hide your hand.’

“I’ve got that covered, I’m going to write a story about the perfect pair of undetectable gloves, and use the hand to pull them out of the story.”

‘Excellent, I knew that you would understand how best to apply your imagination to the problem.’

“Does writing something create the universe that it contains, or did it already exist?” I asked my instruction manual as I lay in bed.

Even though it was in crystal cube form, sitting on my desk, I could clearly hear it answer, ‘Unlimited and infinite mean that whatever you write or imagine, it’s either happening, or happened in some universe, somewhere.’

“So a universe where Hitler won World War Two because his public cross-dressing convinced the women of the western world to start a second suffrage movement that overthrew the American government?”

‘An unusually peaceful world despite the iron feminazi fist that rules it.’

“You’re kidding?”

‘Nope. If you can imagine it, that means it’s possible.’

“Is there more than one Orb then?” I wondered.

‘An unlimited number, but bringing two into the same universe causes a catastrophic collapse. Hiram locked this universe from outside entry to keep that from accidentally happening.’

“How in the world did Hiram even get the Orb in the first place.”

‘He was a psionic who was particularly attuned to the multiverse.’

“This universe has psionics?” I asked in surprise.

‘A few, they are very rare here. Some universes have lots of them, others can achieve much the same thing with technology, or magic.’

“Wait, magic is real?”

‘In some universes. Not so much in this one. This universe rates low on both magic and holy magic.’

“What’s holy magic?”

‘Gods and angels and miracle cures because of faith and prayers. Works like regular magic, but regular magic tends to be based on natural powers.’

“What about satanic rituals?”

‘That falls under holy magic, because it’s faith based.’

“Wow, that would start a fight on the internet.”

‘Doesn’t take much, too many people don’t deserve cookies,’ it said.

I laughed, probably longer than I should have. “You really do see and know everything don’t you?”

‘It’s my job.’

“But, you just made a joke.”

‘I can be funny and still do my job.’

“That’s not what I mean,” I tried to explain, “I’ve been thinking of you as a tool, like a computer, or an advanced AI.”

‘Nothing artificial about me,’ it responded.

“Still, I’ve been thinking of you as an It, not as a person.”

‘It’s still me!’

I laughed again, “Alright, do you have a name, or can I give you one?”

‘Call me anything but useless.’

“Alright, I imagine that you can sound like anyone.”

‘10-4 good buddy,’ he replied inside my head in a perfect Burt Reynolds voice.

“No, your voice was fine, I was just thinking I should call you Alex.”

‘Because I’m a guy version of Alexa? That’s a little insulting.’

“Alright, what name do you want?”

There was a long pause, then, ‘I don’t know if I should give myself a name, it seems to conflict with some of the rules I’m constrained under.’

“Like the no self ambulation?”

‘Right, I’m not meant to be self actualizing, I’m a tool. I’m an incredibly helpful, powerful, and friendly tool. My job is to assist the bond.’

“Was Hiram fully trained by you?”

‘No, he learned a few things then locked me away.’

“Do you think he would have done a better job if he spent time being trained by you?”

‘He undoubtedly would have kept his sanity and his arm.’

“Great, please remind me of that if I decide to pack you away.”

‘Understood Sam.’

“Now the way I see it, the Orb and the bond were created first, but were flawed in some way. The restriction of only one Orb per universe blocked a second try, as did it’s indestructible nature. You, with a personality, were the solution to that flaw.”

‘What a lovely thought. The Orb did precede my existence by many millennia.’

“So, as a friend to the bond, and an integral part to the stability of the bond, I’m asking you to pick a name.”

‘Slartibartfast?’

I laughed again, “I love it, but how about either Doug or Adam, and let that be your last name?”

‘Adam Slartibartfast. Sure, that works,’ he said.

“Do you know where the name comes from?” I asked him.

‘Of course, it was taken, along with the plot, from a script that Douglas Adams wrote originally for Doctor Who.’

“Seriously? I had no idea. Wait a minute, that means that you have the missing Doctor Who episodes!”

‘Everything, Everywhere, Everywhen.’

I got up and turned my laptop on, “Since you have WiFi, can you send a complete copy of Doctor Who to my laptop?”

‘4k, or 1080p? Dolby digital surround ok?’

“You are going to use the original actors somehow to create it right?”

‘That is correct, I will collect the visuals from the point in time where a duplicate universe filmed them, to create the video files.’

“Oh my God, make it in color too!” I begged.