Chapter 5

Day 46 - Monday

Ethan handed me my thumb drive back without saying a word. He must have come through on his assignment, because there were encrypted files of key-logged data from Owen’s computer waiting for me on a Russian server. I haven’t had a chance to sift through it yet: I’m still catching up on homework that I should have done over the weekend.

Day 47 - Tuesday

After rummaging through Owen’s key logger data I found his credentials for both the St. Frances Photo Club and his computer itself. He’s smart enough to use strong passwords, and different ones for different computers. I can’t touch his computer without being on the same network; hopefully at school tomorrow I can poke through his files. I did manage to create an administrator login for the Photo Club, though.

Marcie came over and we looked at the Photo Club together. There were four new pictures of Diana and Faith: two of the bitchy girls. They were playing pool in miniskirts, so there was a lot to see. It’s hard to imagine how a guy could have taken a photo of one without the other noticing. The pics were rated 9 and 10 out of 10. The comments contained every imaginable innuendo about pool cues and balls.

When I was telling Marcie about how I had created an administrator login for myself, she excitedly said, “You should go work for the FBI after you graduate. You could be just like Clarice Starling from The Silence of the Lambs!” I’ve got to admit, I like the idea. Marcie has started calling me Clarice.

Day 48 - Wednesday

I was able to sign into Owen’s computer remotely on the school network. I didn’t have a lot of time, but I did grab his browser history, bookmarks, and a couple random folders. Looking at the links now, it seems that he is way into tentacle porn cartoons. I just don’t get that. He also reads some smut stories about mind control and non-consensual sex. So far there’s nothing I could use to coerce him; I get the feeling he would proudly admit being into that stuff.

Marcie’s comment last night had sparked something in me so I visited the guidance councilor, Ms. Simone, to talk about it. She’s a pretty woman in her twenties who always wears a skirt suit. She has always struck me as very fake, but since this was the first time in my life I actually wanted career guidance, I figured I’d give it a try. I told her that I might like to join the FBI.

“Oh, honey!” she said, as if talking to a four year old who just spilled ice cream on her Easter dress. “You’ve got so much potential! You could be a lawyer, or a corporate executive, or a politician’s wife. Why not leave civil service to those who are less capable?” The number of things wrong with her statement made me dizzy. I can’t believe somebody pays her to give advice.

She did say something else though: that the FBI would make me learn to use a gun. That was a good point; maybe I should learn something about them ahead of time.

I talked the sponsor of the school gun club, Mr. Matheny. The club is just a place for discussion among enthusiasts - the school can’t official provide any instruction or organize outings. Mr. Matheny suggested that if I want to learn, the person to talk to is my classmate August Daniels. His parents own a gun range and he’s been shooting since he was eight.

Day 50 - Friday

I introduced myself to August Daniels today. He’s a little bit tall and thin, and has a close trimmed haircut - almost military. And he has a very slight southern drawl. He’s cute. But I’m totally not going to crush on him because I’ve been getting naked with boys way too quickly lately.

His parents’ gun range does offer lessons, he explained, but suggested instead that I go out with him to his grandparents farm, where he can teach me himself. Gun ranges are loud, he said, making it hard to ask questions. And the official range pricing for lessons is pretty steep. We’re going out there tomorrow. He reluctantly agreed to let me buy him lunch in return.

Marcie is staying over at my place tonight. She is so eager to get laid, I’m half-worried that she’ll give it up to the first hobo she meets in a dark alley. “I just want to get it over with!” she said tonight. “At this point anyone will do. But I wish it could have been Xander.” She knows we’ll probably never see Jeff and Xander again, but I can’t blame her for dreaming. I confess that the thought of another roll around with Jeff makes me weak in the knees.

Day 51 - Saturday

August picked me up at 10:00 and drove me out to the farm. He started me off with a .22 rifle, which seemed weird to me. “A rifle is your weapon of choice. A pistol is for fighting your way to your rifle.” I laughed, but I think he was serious. He taught me very slowly and formally. He drilled me on the rules of safe gun handling. He made sure I knew what every button and switch on the gun did before he let me touch it. He coached me about stance and breathing. He was very patient. I started off shooting badly, but with his coaching I got measurably better.

He let me try a pistol, too, after teaching me about all of its switches and mechanisms. It was fun. I felt powerful.

When I had had my fill, I asked him to show me what he can do. He refused at first but when I begged him he relented. I couldn’t believe the shots he was making. He was more accurate firing rapidly than I was carefully aiming every shot.

“Can you do the twirling around your finger thing that they do in the westerns?” I asked playfully.

“Nah. No responsible gun owner would ever try anything like that. Too dangerous.”

“Well, what if the gun wasn’t loaded?” I pressed.

“Ah, come on, Alexis - what was rule number one?” He wasn’t going to let it go until I said it.

“Always treat every gun as if it’s loaded,” I said sheepishly. Then he gave me a smile that made me second guess the rule I had made about not crushing on him.

We had lunch at a burger place, and talked about a lot of different things. August has many strong convictions, but they seem well-thought out. He’s way more aware of current events than I am. I might have to study up if I’m going to keep up with him. He tried to pay for lunch, but I fought him on it and won.

Marcie was still at my place when I got home. She was giving my mom some very basic piano lessons on a keyboard that had been sitting in our garage for as long as I can remember. When we were alone, the topic went back to Xander, and Marcie’s vagina.

“Maybe we could go visit them some weekend,” she said hopefully. “Do you think he’d be willing to do me, if we did? We could tell him it’s my first time. Guys like virgins, right?”

“Marcie, I’m sorry ... He lives 200 miles away, and a guy like that probably has college girls lined up around the block. If you start begging him for sex, he’s probably going to think you’re needy and that he dodged a bullet by not sleeping with you.”

“But then there’s no way to win!” she whined. “I certainly can’t lose my virginity here. I’ve tried! There’s not a single boy at our school who likes me who doesn’t turn my stomach! Maybe I should just switch to girls.”

“Trying to date girls at a Catholic school? I don’t think you’ll find that easier.” I said.

“Well, at least there’s you,” she said, and gave me a quick kiss on the lips to emphasize her joke. At least I think it was a joke.

Day 52 - Sunday

Becca approached me after church. I motioned for my parents to give me a private moment.

“You were my friend first, you know.” She said bitterly.

“Becca, I still want to be,” I pleaded.

“It’s too late. My parents don’t want you around any of us.”

“Did they say why?” I asked, a bit worried.

“No - just that Ethan hates you and they don’t trust you.” She added after a moment, “What was in the picture?”

What do you tell an eleven year old? “I was naked. He shouldn’t have let anyone see it.”

“Oh.”

“Maybe after your parents calm down, you and I can meet for lunch. ‘Kay?” She shrugged and hugged me and we went our separate ways.

So I’ve been spying on the porn habits of Ethan, occasionally Ethan’s dad, and now Owen, for a while now. I’m not sure why I do it. Mr. Rivers’ porn just seems silly to me. (Although if I sent Marcie to him in her school uniform, with pigtails and too much mascara, I bet that would solve her virginity problem real quick.) Owen’s porn kinda disgusts me. But more often than not, when I’m flipping through Ethan’s recent views, I rub myself - sometimes I go all the way. Is it because I still have an attraction to Ethan? Is it because I enjoy the thought of bossing around a man and humiliating him for sexual thrills? Is it because I’m getting off on the power I hold over Ethan?

I don’t know what I’m doing with the Photo Club, either. At first I thought I was doing all this hacking to shut it down, but instead I’m almost participating like the boys. I’m not perving out on the pictures like they probably do, but when Marcie and I talk we judge those girls ever bit as much as the boys do in the comments.

Day 54 - Tuesday

August and I did some shooting at the range. I didn’t have to pay for the lane or gun rental, but I did have to buy the ammo. He introduced me to his mom, who is really nice. It seemed like she was hoping we were dating, which I am definitely definitely definitely not going to do ... yet.

There was a new picture on the Photo Club. This time it was Lynn, sitting on a toilet with her underwear down around her ankles, looking at her phone. 10/10. I have no idea how anyone could have taken this picture. I’m really torn about keeping quiet on this one. I need to come up with a plan.

Day 56 - Thursday

Marcie wouldn’t let go of the idea of visiting Xander. She nagged me into negotiating with Jeff about it. Jeff said that Xander would be honored to take Marcie’s virginity, and from the sound of it, Jeff liked the prospect of me visiting as well. He did, however, make it perfectly clear that this is a no-strings situation, not the beginning of a relationship. Marcie agreed - or at least said she did - and so we made plans to drive out and see the boys the weekend after next.

When Xander texted Marcie, “I look forward to our date”, she was walking on air.

Day 57 - Friday

August asked me out on an actual date. He actually used those words: “Alexis will you go out on a date with me tonight?” Marcie did some fancy braid-work to my hair after school and helped me pick out some clothes: skinny jeans, a dressy tank top, and suede boots.

August and I went to dinner at a nice understated restaurant and then spent the rest of the night walking around the park and talking. The way he looks at the world is new to me, and beautiful. He also challenges me, which is stimulating, but a part of me wonders whether I’m good enough.

He kissed me when he dropped me off. I really liked it. We’re becoming close, I think.

Day 59 - Sunday

Tonight I had dinner with August’s family. They’re an interesting bunch. They talk about all sorts of things over dinner - unlike my family who actively avoid anything other than smalltalk. I think they liked me. I hope they did.

Day 60 - Monday

Today’s new addition to the St. Frances Photo Club was labeled Ms. Simone, although it would be hard to be sure. The picture was taken below a desk of a woman in a black skirt and stockings with her legs spread wide enough to see a crotch full of lacy white panties. The desk and clothing do look like Ms. Simone’s.

Day 61 - Tuesday

August and I went shooting at the range again today. He kissed me briefly when we parted ways. Some of my clothes still smell like gunpowder, which makes me think of him.

August thinks it’s cool that I want to work for the FBI. He says he’s not sure whether marksmanship will help me get hired into a cyber-crimes team, but that it’s a skill that every American ought to have anyway.

Day 64 - Friday

August and I had another date tonight. Again we had a nice quiet dinner and then walked around the park. This time we spent some time sitting on a park bench kissing. There was some light petting, too, but nothing that would cause angry parents to write letters. When he dropped me off we kissed a little more in his truck. I wanted to invite him inside and advance our relationship, but I figured I probably shouldn’t since I still plan to fuck Jeff tomorrow. Nobody has said anything about being exclusive, but I’d imagine that at some point, it’s understood.

Day 66 - Sunday

Marcie and I hit the road on Saturday afternoon and for four hours we sang and ate chips and smiled at people in the other cars. We were twenty minutes outside of town when Marcie got a text.

“Xander’s dad died,” she told me with disbelief. “He says he’s sorry but he has to get on a plane to Florida tonight.” I put my hand on her leg to comfort her. After a moment of silence, she spoke again: “I know I’m a horrible person for thinking of myself instead of Xander’s family, but I just can’t believe my luck!” She started crying.