Chapter 5

“Trudy, I just don’t know what to do.”

The two were on the phone the next morning after Chris had left for school. After a couple of evasions Tawny had finally told Trudy everything which had happened last night.

“What do you want to happen?” asked her sister.

“That’s just it. I want to go back to a mother and son relationship with him, but then I see him or hear his voice and all these desires begin to invade my thoughts and before long I’m fantasizing about his taking me to bed. I ... I feel as if I’m falling in love with him.”

“Sounds like you have just two options, Sis. You can either go cold turkey, tell him it’s over and can never be, and then never touch or be touched by him again, or you can surrender and accept what you know you really want.”

“But, it’s wrong and we both know it’s wrong.”

“Yeah, maybe, if you use societal norms as your guidepost. But you can’t have it both ways. You’re either his mother, or you’re the woman he is in love with and with whom he wants to make love. You either accept him as a son or a lover. You may be in love with him but we both know that will end up in the bedroom. Platonic love may be wonderful in fantasyland but in the world of reality two people in love want to share more than their feelings.”

“But, but what if I do surrender, where will it go ... where can it go from there?”

“Hey, do I have a crystal ball? Where does any relationship go after two people have made love? It either goes on to a something stronger, more lasting, or it goes down in flames. No one can know what will happen. If you want the answer to that question you’ll just have to find out the, excuse the pun, hard way.”

“Oh, it isn’t that I doubt he can...” started Tawny.

“Sweety, you need never have any doubts as to whether that young stud of yours can satisfy. He’s better than any man I’ve ever bedded. Bigger, stronger, and he’s smooth, really smooth. He sure talked the panties right off me and we both know it wasn’t my first rodeo.”

“He ... he says he’s in love with me. Last week one of my co-workers asked me out. I could see the disappointment in Chris’ eyes when I told him.”

“So how did it go?”

“He was nice and not bad looking, but all I could think of the whole time we were out together was Chris.”

“So did you...?”

“Oh no, he kissed me good night, but I told him there was someone else and couldn’t see him any more. When I told Chris, he was all smiles and asked me for another date.”

“He’s got the hots for you all right ... and someone has the hots for him as well.”

“Trudy, I ... I...” but no words would come.

“Look, Sis, my advice is do what feels right. If you’ve just got the hots for a good lay, take him to bed and screw his brains out. I guarantee you will get a lot more than you receive. Then send him on his way. If, however, you really have feelings for him, then let things progress naturally. Of course you’ll eventually also wind up in bed, but now you’re talking long term. No one knows how it will turn out, but at least you’ll have given it a shot.”

“But what would people say?”

“Are you more interested in Chris and you or in what people will say? Besides you can cool it in public and enjoy each other in private.”

“But I want him all the time.”

“Then marry him, girl. Hell, you can move to another state, change your name and start new.”

“Marry my own son?”

“Why not. You’re already considering taking him to bed. If you want him all to yourself, then you both will have to make a commitment.”

“But ... marriage!”

“Hey, I didn’t say you had to elope this weekend. Spend some time with him, take him to bed when the time is right. Serious commitments can be made somewhere down the line. Besides, you or Chris may decide this is not for you after all. But you’ll never know unless you give it a chance.”

“You’ve ... given me a lot to think about.”

“Well,” said Trudy, laughing, “if you decide you don’t want him, just throw him my way. I’ll certainly have no reservations about inviting him to bed.”

“I bet you wouldn’t,” laughed Tawny in return.

“See you Sis. Got to go. Let me know how things turn out.”

“Yes, yes, I will.”

And before Tawny Owens had even hung up the phone, her mind was racing with possibilities and dangers which only made her more conflicted than ever.