The Disclaimer

he girl was cute, perky, a brunette, just a bit stocky. I like stocky. I liked the set of her breasts, the fact that she did dip in just a bit at the hips, and the curves of her sturdy legs.

But that wasn’t what this was about ... I pasted a somewhat sad and disgruntled expression on my face as I gazed at her.

“I’m sure you find me interesting, and would like to get to know me better,” I began, “Let me tell you why this isn’t a good idea.” I waved my thumb at my crew of sycophants. “See that bunch? I call them my crew. They rely upon me for entertainment, among other things. As you can tell by looking, none of them is what I would call a stellar individual. From that, you should surmise that I’m probably not, either. I’m here to tell you, up front, that this is the case. We’ll come back to them later, but we’ll start with me, and what has been the pattern of my relationships with women. When I describe this pattern, you should understand that it has occurred again and again, and therefore, you should expect a variant of it to occur if we were to move forward into something resembling a relationship. I’m going to describe the steps that we’ll take down this path, and I’m telling you up-front that it is up to you to determine when you’ve had enough and step away. I should also mention that when you do, that’s it – there is no coming back – but you REALLY shouldn’t have any inclination to do so, anyway! So, are you ready to hear this?”

She gazed up at me, smiling, and I knew already that she was going to persist in not believing me. All I could do was try, however...

“All right – I’ll begin. You should probably hold questions until the end – they’ll probably be answered in process. So. I’m sure we would start out being pleasant company for one another. There would be a honeymoon phase where I’ll seem like a decent sort and I’ll at least seem to have some respect for your feelings and such. But I’m a dilettante and I was raised to wealth and privilege – and as a result, I’m self-centered and I want things to happen on my schedule and in the manner that works best for me. In short, I want things when I want them, how I want them, where I want them – and I can become extremely impatient and difficult to deal with if things don’t go my way. I will want things from you, and you will soon discover that if you cannot meet my demands, if not anticipate them, I will terminate our relationship very rapidly. You may enter our relationship under the impression that you are my girlfriend, but one day, you will awaken to the realization that you are a servant, and, if you continue, soon after, your status will slip to ‘slave.’ Are you with me so far?”

“Yes.” She was looking a bit nervous – maybe I was getting through...