Chapter 3

Sean called his father the following day at lunchtime. That would be around 7pm in the U. S. They talked about communication in a long-distance relationship. Bill told his Son, “With Discord, you don’t have any monetary restraints like we did in the 90’s. Back then, a call to Washington D.C., which is only thirty miles away, was a long-distance call. They never had calling cards to foreign countries. I joined AT&T’s calling plan called “My Favorite Country,” and still paid $0.49/minute. You kids can talk internationally for free on Discord. That’s the major reason I wrote such long letters, but you will sometimes reveal something in a letter you may very embarrassed or ashamed to talk about. In a healthy relationship, you need to share everything. She needs to know your failures and faults as well as your attributes and successes. The whole thing about marriage is like our relationship with the Lord. He knows all your weaknesses, frailties, and failure, but He still loves us anyway. If you marry the right woman, she’ll love you warts and all — Just like the Lord. In fact, when you have God’s choice for a wife, she will be strong in all the areas you are weak. Conversely, you will be strong to cover her weaknesses. There is a verse in Ecclesiastes that says, “two are better than one. When they fall, one will pick the other up. But a three-ply cord cannot be broken.” If you have a God-blessed marriage with Christ as the center core, you will overcome all that life throws at you.

“Listen to me, Son. She is in med school to become a doctor. Don’t pull her attention away from her studies. She has told you plainly that she wants to see if you two can build something. Be confident in that, and both of you will keep your priorities straight. Got it?”

“You might also want to try writing letters. It will occupy some of your lonely time creatively, and you may not feel so helpless being on the other side of the world.”

“That sounds like a good suggestion, Dad. I spoke to her mom last night. She was going to read me the riot act, but she’s only concerned about Megumi. After I explained that I didn’t drink, smoke, or take drugs, and that I was a twenty-three-year-old virgin, she cooled off and listened to me speak. She’s okay, at least she will listen and let you speak. Not like mom who believes what she wants to believe. Her and mom could be twin sisters: grades, degrees, and a great job. Forget all else. But after I convinced her that I was a committed Christian, and not out to defile her daughter, she said that as long as I didn’t take Megumi’s focus away from her schoolwork, we would be allowed to date.”

“Well then, make sure you do just that. Win the mom, you win the girl. Did you say her dad is onboard?”

“Yeah, he told Megumi he’d run interference with her mom. But he’s all military and all business; I need to prove myself to him also. She is the apple of his eye.”

“If you decide to do what I did, then write a little every day. Tell her your thoughts and feelings. Tell her how much you want to meet her in person. How much brighter life is in that drab, dreary desert knowing there is a girl at home thinking about him. Anything regarding your past that is sensitive in nature you need to get to know her better. See if she reciprocates with as much private details about herself as you do, then that’s real sharing.”

That night, Sean went to the gym for a couple of hours, now having a reason to work hard to look good. Megumi was having basically the same talk with her dad as Sean did with his dad.

⸟

When Sean called Megumi Sunday evening, she was a little flustered. “Is something wrong? Do you want me to call you later? Tomorrow maybe?”

“No, I’m just flustered with this material on the endocrine system. I think it is incomplete, but this is what the test on Tuesday will be on. I need to talk to the professor about it. Sometimes, I find mistakes in textbooks, and it’s very annoying.”

Teasing her, Sean retorted, “Boo-hoo. It must be tough being a genius.”

“Yeah, it is. It’s kinda like a musician with perfect pitch. It’s more of an annoyance than a help.”

“Hey, did I tell you play piano?”

No, you didn’t. What do you play?”

“Classical. I’m a Chopin freak. but I’m also keen on Mozart and Schumann. Beethoven is a little too exacting for me, but I love his stuff. I’m kinda a walking encyclopedia of classical music. I hear a piece and can usually name it.”

“Wow! That’s cool! Do you have a piano at home?”

“Yeah, it’s a forty-year-old Steinway baby grand, but I love it. My parents bought it for me when I was in seventh grade.”

“Are you very good? Oops, that sounded kinda snobbish. You know what I mean, right?”

“Yeah, it’s okay. No, I was pretty good, but I really haven’t played for three years. I’ve won a few competitions. If you stop playing for a month, you can really tell the difference. My music teacher owned his own studio. He was a professor at Peabody Institute. So, I was getting a music conservatory education at half the price.”

“Wow, Sean, I think that’s great. I don’t play an instrument, but I like to sing.”

Sean chuckled and replied, “I think all Japanese girls love to sing.”

They both laughed and she replied, “True, so true.”

There was a moment of silence when Sean blurted out, “Megumi, I really like you. My dad and my friends all say to only tell you a little at first, but I don’t believe that. When I called dad out it, I asked him why he went all out and expressed his heart to Mom right from the beginning instead of taking the same advice he was giving me.”

“What did he say?” Megumi asked, “I’d be very interested in his response.”

He said that he had a feeling deep in his gut that Mom was the right woman for him. He, like me, had decided that he was going to bare his heart and lay all his cards on the table. If she rejected him, it’s better to find out early than invest and build feelings and then get dumped.”

“Megumi, I feel the same way. From the moment I first heard your voice, I felt in my heart that I somehow knew that you’re the one. I do not mean to scare you, but that’s how I feel. To be honest, I want a wife. I want to get married and have a relationship and a life with a woman for five years or so years before having children. I want my woman and I to be the very best of friends that can be and will do everything together. I mean, sure, we have our own friends, and do things with them, but they have their own lives also. My dad married in his forties. I don’t want to be alone for that long.

“I somehow feel in my gut that I do not want to play the usual cat-and-mouse games people play when dating. Guys like to play a game called “push and pull.” A push-pull relationship is where one person pushes a romantic partner away, only to pull them in again after they become cold and distant. He’s playing hard to get. Girls are very good at this game. This is most commonly due to a fear of intimacy in the pusher. However, in any instance of push-pull, it takes two to tango. Most guys don’t want commitment. All they want is in the girl’s panties. Friends with benefits sort of thing. I admit, guys are dogs. They want to “test drive” the girl before making a commitment. But, after they get what they want, they have the attitude “Why should I buy the cow when I’m getting the milk for free’ attitude

“Megumi, I’m not a saint. I have a real issue with cursing, which I need to address and stop. I don’t really have any other issues, except, I have had two relationships. Julie, my first, was when we were both juniors in high school. We went to school and church together. Dad warned both of us that getting serious at 16 was not a good idea. Well, kids think they know all the answers even when they haven’t heard the questions. We didn’t listen. I invested all my feelings into her and she just wanted dating experience. It lasted a year and she then cheated on me with a guy we met at retreat. Boy, did that hurt! It took me two years to lick my wounds and decide to try again.

“That’s when I met Sophie at church. You know the story there. I know that I’m the first guy you ever thought of possibly getting serious about, and maybe you want to gain some dating experience before getting serious. I don’t know your heart, but I just want you to know that I’m for real and I’m not going to play any games with you or jerk you around. I’m looking to build a serious relationship with you if you are agreeable and hopefully it will end up in marriage.”

Silence...

When he didn’t hear anything from Megumi, he thought boy, “I really screwed the pooch! She’s gonna bolt.”

Megumi made a soft coughing sound and said, “Sean, I don’t know what is happening, but I told my dad after our first call, that I wanted to continue to communicate with you. I told him that I had no idea why, but on our first call, I admitted to you that I was open to something more with you than just being pen pals. I told Dad that I felt comfortable and safe with you and that I was open to pursuing something more with you. He told me to just be careful and keep my head about me. Most of all, not to let you take my focus away from my studies and becoming a doctor.

“After what you’ve just said, I feel the Lord is protecting me. At twenty-one, I’m very innocent and naive when it comes to relationships. I think I could easily be taken advantage of and hurt. I somehow feel that you won’t hurt me. I too have been thinking and I have heard many of my girlfriends’ woes about being dumped or cheated on. I don’t want or need to experience that.

“I really do feel honored that you have opened yourself up to me. I think you have placed a lot of trust in me. Unfortunately, I don’t have any secrets like that to tell you. I will admit something to you that I am very ashamed of and not a single living soul knows about.