Given Nils’ huge crush on Lisa, he felt he had no choice but to try out for the gymnastics team. As an athlete, Nils wasn’t in Lisa’s league, but he managed to do most of the exercises at the basic levels. On the third session, Coach LeRoy explained the parallel bars. He had Lisa demonstrate the swinging dip with dismount. Nils was a little apprehensive, but Lisa offered encouragement. “I’ll spot you,” she said, “and don’t worry about the dismount.”

Things went well enough for a while. Whether Nils’ shorts were too tight or too loose or a little of both, on the fifth dip, his penis and scrotum escaped. Nils didn’t know what to do, so he kept swinging.

At the apex of the sixteenth swing, his wrists gave way. He fell straight down, landing flat on his back.

Coach rushed over. “Is he dead?” Lisa asked. “Should we check his pulse?”

“Good idea,” said Coach.

“Strong pulse,” Coach announced.

“Right,” Lisa agreed. “I think maybe he had an or—”

“His eyes look okay,” Coach said. “I don’t think there’s a concussion. Nils, can you hear me? Blink once for yes, twice for no.”

“I can hear you,” Nils said.

“Can you wiggle your toes?”

Nils wiggled his toes.

“Maybe we should ask him some other questions. See if he knows who he is,” Lisa said.

“Nils,” Coach said, “do you know who I am?”

“Coach LeRoy.”

“Good. Um, what’s the square root of 16?”

“Four.”

“Excellent. What’s the capital of Turkey?”

“Ankara.”

“Hey, that’s right. I was thinking Istanbul. You’re quite the little smarty pants. Um, Lisa, is there anything you want to ask him?”

Lisa thought for a second. “How many sperms in a tablespoon of semen?”

Nils frowned. “Are we talking human semen?”

“We are,” Lisa confirmed. She carefully tucked his somewhat softened penis back into his shorts. “And don’t worry, we’ll work on your dismount.”

All that week and the next and the next, after everyone had left for the day, Lisa and Nils stayed after to work on their mounts and dismounts. They practiced tirelessly until they were both completely satisfied. And then they practiced some more.