Chapter 4

The camper became my home during the next weeks. The first miles of the drive was quiet with me in deep thought, and I didn’t register a thing in my mind. There were a lot of things I had missed because I had to work hard to provide for my family. Now that I was free, I was determined to check all the squares on my wish list. I had never been more than a hundred miles away from my hometown since I got married. My last years had been devoted to working and being a husband and a father. Not anymore.

My original plan was to drive from Ohio to Wyoming and find a steady job there. But once I got there, I decided to keep traveling west. I drove on back roads discovering the small towns of America.

Wherever I found an opportunity to weld something for cash, I stayed a few days. I never stuck around in one place for more than a few weeks unless I found a nice view or a nice community.

Over the next months, I worked my way through America, driving at the speed of life.

I didn’t try to pretend all was well. The grief and the anger were still there. Some days I was moody and cried myself to sleep. The future I had envisioned had been shattered. The people I had loved and devoted myself to had deeply hurt me and then deserted me. Even when the loss was devastating, even though my path had taken a twist, I still believed that I could have a good future. You know what they say, “the best revenge is a life well-lived.”

Of course, I wanted to show my ex-wife and my ex-daughter that I succeeded despite what they did to me. This might be a part of it, but I believed that the most important aspect was that I proved myself that I was capable of moving on without dwelling on the past and obsessing about balancing the ledger.

I had been three months on the road when I decided to call my mom. She and my sister were the only ones who had my new number. I’d asked them not to share it with anyone.

Mom told me she had been getting some really angry calls and threats from the whore because of the WANTED poster. She had dropped words such as libel and defamation. However, no one had come looking for me at her home.

My daughter had also called wanting to get in touch with me. I suppose she was angry with me too.

“How are you holding up, Paul?”

“Some days are better than others, but I’m okay, mom. I made the right choice leaving town. I feel much better being on the road. I still can’t stop seeing myself as a loser and keep asking myself what I did wrong.”

“Don’t do this to yourself, son. Why are you seeing the world through your ex-wife’s and Dr. Douchebag’s value system? You wanted a loving wife; she wanted a stepping stone to something better. You were never compatible. It could well be she was your stepping stone to something much better, a future partner who values you. By my standards, you’re a much better person than any of them.”

“I think you might be a bit biased when it comes to me, but thanks for saying it, mom.”

“I really mean it, Paul. You’re a great father and an amazing husband. You worked lots of hours to give your family the best life you could. You sacrificed college for them. You were always there for your daughter. You also stayed faithful to your marriage. This makes you a good person. You can keep your head high, you did nothing wrong. What about them? Two shallow people caring only about material things. Louise was a really awful woman who cheated on the person who loved her deeply and stabbed him in the back. Your ex-wife and that doctor are not, and never will be, better than you. It doesn’t matter how good they look on Facebook, or how much money they make. Your flyer forced them to look at themselves in the mirror. And they didn’t like the reflection. Once the fantasy and sparkles fade, they’ll cheat on each other as well. I bet Elise is wondering if she made the right choice siding with them. Elise is a smart girl. You raised her well. She’ll figure it out sooner or later.”

“Too bad I won’t be there to see it.”

“Never say never, Paul.”

“I don’t think so. Last time we spoke Eli was thrilled by the excitement of the new lifestyle Doctor Dick was providing her.”

“Well, Son, not all that glitters is gold. I heard their membership at the club is under review. Their circle of friends is not as big as it used to be. Most of the people don’t like cheaters. People at the hospital are not happy with them either.”

“Not my problem anymore, Mom. I love you. Tell Sis I said hi.”

“I love you too, Paul. Thanks for calling.”