Chapter 6

Naomi called her mother and decided to stop by on their way back to the Jensen’s, thinking it would be a good time to show off her mile-wide smile.

She announced them at the door with a cheery, “Hi, Mom!”

She was curious about why her mother came out of her bedroom to greet them, instead of her own, but not enough to comment on it. “Oh, my darling girl! It’s so good to see you truly happy. “ She spread her arms and Naomi rushed to her embrace. She could almost feel her mother’s happiness, and soaked it up as they hugged each other tightly. When she stepped back, her mother held out her arms to first Tyler, then Carol.

After the greetings, she noticed a hint of mischief in her mother’s eyes. When she raised an eyebrow, her mother gave a big smile and led them into the room she had just left. Naomi was momentarily confused, though. The bed didn’t look right.

Her mother laughed at her confusion and said, “Dearest daughter, did you really think you were going to be able to fit three in a twin bed? Two’s a stretch. This queen should accommodate all three of you just fine since you’re all friends.”

Naomi only hesitated for an instant before flopping back on the bed and inviting Carol and Tyler to do the same. Once she was sure that her mother was correct, she propped herself up on her elbows and said, “I have the best mother in the whole world! Thank you!” The others added their thanks as well.

Her mother laughed at their antics, then told Naomi to grab some more clothes before heading over to the Jensen’s. She’d follow shortly.

Despite all of the excitement of the previous few days, Lee couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to come, so she decided to take the Jensens up on their offer and go over early, arriving just before five. If the other shoe dropped that evening, she hoped to give everyone time to understand and to discuss things as a group.

Tyler greeted her at the door with a kiss on the cheek, then took her coat before leading her to the living room, where everyone else was gathered. After greeting Carl and Jennifer and receiving hugs from the girls, she sat in one of the armchairs.

Carl stood then, and said, “I’m glad you came a little early, Lee. I’m hoping we can spend a little time getting to know each other better. I know you’ve had a long talk with Carol and Tyler, but we haven’t had the chance to get to know you or Naomi that well. That being said, if I get too personal feel, free to tell me. I won’t be offended.”

Then he turned to Naomi, sandwiched between Carol and Tyler on the sofa, and said, “This morning you mentioned something, and Jen and I have been puzzling about ever since. You said that Tyler and Carol healed a broken Naomi. I realize we don’t know you very well, but we’ve never gotten the feeling that you were broken, just a little shy, and maybe a bit fragile. Again, if it’s too personal, just say so, though I hope you know that we’re very much on your side, now.”

Lee saw Tyler slip an arm around Naomi’s waist, while Carol stroked her cheek with the back of her hand, then leaned forward to whisper something in her ear before giving her a kiss on the cheek.

Naomi smiled then, and said, “I really was broken. I’ve never been very outgoing, though, and I’ve learned to hide the broken me behind a façade of shyness. Behind the shyness, though, was a scared, and scarred, little girl.” She then went on to explain about her attack, this time without showing her scar.

“Of course I know a pretty good psychologist, and she’s helped me a lot over the years, but for some reason we didn’t understand, I just wasn’t able to move on. Now I know I was waiting for your children, for people my own age, to help me fit all the pieces together again.”

Lee had known all along that Naomi was still deeply affected by the attack, despite her best efforts and those of some of her colleagues. She was also aware that something had changed for her daughter, but she still wasn’t sure what it was.

Jennifer said, “You were a brave girl, seizing your chance to escape. Have these two shown you what my brother has been teaching them?”

“Oh, yes! They told me on our first date that they would, and we’ve been practicing as much as we can since. I’ve come to realize that was the part that was missing from my recovery — I still felt vulnerable. Between what I’ve learned, and having your children at my side, I no longer feel constantly vulnerable. I know things can still happen, but I’m not always worrying about it.”

Carl tilted his head, looking puzzled. He finally asked, “You said your first date. Are you talking about your first pretend date with Tyler?”

Naomi nodded. “The thing is, even that night, Tyler started to gain my trust. Not just for following through and acting as a beard, but for being upfront that he hoped for something from our relationship, too. He said he wanted to earn my friendship. Later, he talked about how emotional he can be, and I realized something — he trusted me. It would be so easy to hurt him with what I’d learned, but he trusted me to be kind. That broke a wall for me, so I told him that I’d be his friend. At the time, he didn’t realize that he was the first male friend I’ve had since I was eleven.

“The interesting part was that it was easy to see that, to him, friendship is something special and precious. I’ve since learned more about what he means by friendship, and it harkens back to an earlier time, almost a code of conduct.”

Lee was jolted by her daughter’s phrasing. The formality of it was intriguing and special — she could sense the moment was at hand.

Naomi turned to the siblings, still sitting on the sofa, and beckoned them to stand. When they had, she took both of Tyler’s hands and said, “I promised you that night that I would be your friend and that you could be yourself around me. I’d like to expand on that promise. Since that night, you’ve shown your code of conduct through your actions: Respect, Nurture and Protect.” Dropping Tyler’s left hand, she took Carol’s right and said, “I will do no less for you — for either of you.”

Carol grabbed her brother’s free hand with hers and said, “As will I for both of you, and just like you two, I always honor my promises.”

For Lee, it was an electric moment — the formality and dignity the three teens were demonstrating caused her breath to catch. Carl and Jennifer apparently felt something as well. They stared at the teens for a few seconds, then Carl slipped out of the room for a moment. Lee gasped when he returned, but Jennifer seemed to understand and nodded to him.

He was holding a sword.

Carl wasn’t prone to flights of fancy, but with the kids gathered together, he could swear he heard something different in their voices. It might have been just the phrasing and cadence they were using, but it felt like more than that. When they were done, a thought came to him: there was a sense of something akin to a chivalric oath in their words and their manner, and Naomi had mentioned a code of conduct ... That’s when he realized what he should do. He quietly left the living room and went to his den. There, he gave a salute to the picture in a small display, before taking the sword that was part of the display off the wall.

When he returned, he heard Lee gasp, but his darling wife understood what he was about to do. Stopping in front of the teens, he came to attention. Then he held the sword out across both hands. He saw Tyler and Carol swallow, but Naomi caught his eye and nodded.

Curiously, his own voice seemed to have developed a different cadence as well. “This sword was a gift from my father’s command, presented to my mother at his memorial service. Other than for cleaning, this is the first time I’ve taken it off the wall. I did not do so lightly. Would the three of you please kneel?”

Once they had, he went to stand in front of Tyler. Taking the sword in his right hand, he said, “Tyler, you’ve always been a good son, but your actions this week have been more than good. They have demonstrated that you are both courageous and honorable. I therefore dub you Knight.” He raised the sword and brought the flat of it down hard enough to make the steel ring, first on his son’s right shoulder, then his left.

He then stepped in front of Naomi. “Naomi, when you were attacked, you showed real courage in seizing your chance to escape. Your honor is amply demonstrated by your conduct and the oaths you have taken to my children. I therefore dub you Knight.” Again, he brought the sword down hard enough to cause it to ring, but she didn’t flinch.

Finally, he stood before his daughter and said, “Carol, you’ve always been your brother’s protector and no one doubts your courage. Now, though, you’ve gone beyond that — your willingness to help others and the oath you gave here demonstrate your honor. I therefore dub you Knight.” Carol was solid as a rock — he would have been surprised by anything less.

Addressing them all, he said, “Please rise.” When they had, he continued, “I’m not given to visions, but somehow I sense great things in your future, a future that will always include all three of you. Remember to be courageous when courage is needed, and to always be kind and honorable.”

Turning to Lee, he said, “Jennifer and I have tried to raise Tyler and Carol to understand and believe in honor. I’ve spoken to them of my father, the grandfather they never met, and how he died evacuating others from his ship as it was sinking. They’ve also always had their uncle, who has devoted his entire adulthood to protecting us all, as an example. They’ve learned the lesson well. It’s apparent that Naomi has, too.” Turning back to the teenagers, he said, “I’m proud to call you all my children.”

Naomi then stepped forward and said, “Sir, or if I may, Dad? I thank you for the honor and the title you’ve bestowed upon me. I’m sure that my father would have approved, were he alive today to see it. He was a combat medic. I was eight when he died when his helicopter was shot down in Afghanistan while on a mission. I miss him, as does my mother, but I also know that there are things worth fighting, and even dying, for. Your children are safe with me.”

The formality of her phrasing struck him, and he sensed it was time to maintain his peace. The silence that came after her statement stretched for a moment, then she whirled to the others and nodded. She took Carol’s hand in her left and Tyler’s in her right. Tyler and Carol then joined their hands to form a triangle.

Then, with an almost ritualistic cadence, Tyler said, “Naomi, my heart, and Carol, my love, I promise to always love, honor, cherish and protect you, to the end of my days. We may never be able to officially marry, but I will always consider us as such. I will be your mate and your strength as needed for as long as my heart beats.”

Naomi took up the ritual next. “Carol, my heart, and Tyler, my love, I promise to always love, honor, cherish and protect you, to the end of my days. I don’t care about an official wedding. This is my wedding, and I will be your mate and heart for as long as my heart shall beat.”

Finally, it was his daughter’s turn. “Tyler, my first love, and Naomi, my heart, I promise to love, honor, cherish and protect you, to the end of my days. From this day forward, we are married in my heart, and I will give unto you all of my love and strength for as long as that heart beats.”

It was a minute before Jennifer broke the near hieratic silence. “You know, dinner will be ready shortly, but I doubt anyone is going to notice it, let alone remember it. Welcome to the family, Naomi, and you, too, Lee!”

When Mindy awoke Saturday morning, she was momentarily disoriented — she wasn’t alone! As soon as she made a sound, though, she heard Kyle’s voice.

“Shh, it’s alright, love. I’m not going to hurt you. Remember yesterday?”

Remember? Oh! Kyle had introduced her to one of his teammates and his girlfriend. The boy, Tyler, had hospitalized someone who threatened his girlfriend.

It started to come back faster then. They thought the guy who was hospitalized might be a rapist!

“Tyler, right? And his girlfriend said that you were like him, that you wouldn’t think I was dirty because I’d been raped. Oh! The shower! Now I remember.”

“That’s right, love. Naomi was right, too, I would never treat someone as dirty because they’d been raped.”

After taking a deep breath, she rolled onto her back. “I’m so glad you wanted me to hold you. I’d probably still be screaming if you’d been holding me. Um, I remember you saying I could ask for anything, so, could you roll over and kiss me, please?”

She thought he took a long time rolling over and was just starting to wonder if he found her disgusting, now, when he reached up and ran a finger along her cheek.

“I love you so much, Min. I’m so sorry it took all of this before I was willing to admit it to you.”

Then he finished rolling over, and she saw the love and compassion in his eyes. She didn’t wait for him to kiss her — she kissed him, clinging to him like a drowning person holding on to a life preserver. When he squeaked, she let up some, but she didn’t stop kissing him.

When she let him up for air, she said, “You saved my life. You and Tyler and his girlfriend. I’d gotten to the point where it hurt too much to keep going when all I could see ahead was more pain.”

She felt tears falling on her face when he leaned over to kiss her. Tears? Her big, strong cousin? In an instant, her mood flipped, from joy in being alive to self-loathing. How badly must she have hurt him to bring him to tears! He’d been trying all along, and she kept pushing him away.

Then he said, “You needed a path back, sweetheart. You were so terribly hurt. I hoped it would work, hoped you were strong enough to reach beyond the hurt to love on the other side. I always knew you were strong, deep down inside.”

She heard him, and she wanted to believe him, but at that moment she was too buried in hating herself for what she’d done to him.

“Don’t lie to me! I wasn’t willing to try, and because of that, I hurt you. I’m so ashamed!”

When she tried to push him away, he didn’t budge.

“No, Mindy,” he said calmly. “That’s not what happened, not at all. Maybe before I met Mandy it would have been, but she helped me get my head on straight. I’ve been worried about you, but nothing you’ve done hurt me.

“All that I’ve done is show my love for you, filtered through what I’ve learned about victims of rape. Would you be willing to have Mandy over and talk to her? I know you’ve talked to a therapist, but she has some things going for her that he doesn’t. Now that you’ve turned the corner and can accept it, I think she can help you a lot.”

When she looked in his eyes, she saw love, not pain. That was enough for her to rein in her initial reaction, enough to make her pause and think.

Think. Kyle loved her. He might not have said it that way before, but she’d known it for years. She also knew that he would never intentionally hurt her.

Think. Mandy. She liked Mandy, and Mandy had always treated her like she was extra special. Mandy told Kyle to do whatever it took, but why?

After getting her breath under control, she said, “What, Kyle? What does Mandy have that my therapist doesn’t have?”

Kyle leaned over and kissed her again before saying, “Mandy had a dear friend a few years ago who was raped. Her friend never found her way, never managed to accept help. When it became too much, Karen killed herself. Amanda wanted to help her, but her parents wouldn’t let her near.”

Mindy shivered when he said that, realizing how close she’d been to the same pit of despair.

“She’s got something else going for her as well,” he continued. “It’s pretty simple, really: she loves you. Between how much she loves you, and what happened to Karen, she’ll do anything to help you get better.”

Mindy was more than a little confused. Mandy loved her? Sweet, funny, fiery Mandy loved her? Why? Still, she liked Mandy and maybe she could help.

“If you think she can help, I’ll try.”

“Would you like to have something to eat before I call her?”

Mindy looked at the clock and stared. It was just past five o’clock! “Wait, it’s only five o’clock! You can’t call her now.”

“Why not? I know she’s awake — she’s an early riser.”

“But, what would she think if she got a call this early?”

Kyle kissed her nose, then smiled and said, “Mindy, please understand, I know Amanda very well. I know what you mean to her and how much she wants you to get better. You heard her last night, right? When she gasped? That was pure joy and hope. Ask her when she gets here, but I guarantee that she slept with the phone in her hand, waiting for me to call. Whether it was to ask her for advice or to say you were ready to see her, she never let her phone out of her hot little hand all night.

“If I call her right now and ask her to come over, it won’t take her more than fifteen minutes to get here.”

Then she saw him smile, and he said, “You know, since I didn’t call her for advice overnight, she’s probably expecting a call to ask her to come on over. She might even be parked outside right now, just waiting.”

“Oh come on! Why would she do that?”

“I told you — she loves you, and she desperately wants you to get better.

“Let’s find out.” He went to the front windows and pulled the curtains aside to take a quick look, then smiled and motioned her over.

Sure enough, there was Mandy’s little green Mini.

He picked up his phone and Mindy said, “Wait! We’re not dressed.”

“Well, she’s seen me plenty of times, and she’s seen other girls as well. But if you’ll be more comfortable, let’s get dressed.”

Ten minutes later, he opened the door to let Mandy in. The first thing she did was slowly approach Mindy. She looked her in the eyes and, emotion raw in her voice, said, “Thank you for allowing me the chance to help you. Someday I hope you’ll understand what it means to me that you’ll let me try.”

Mindy was shocked to see that she was crying. She reached out and touched one of the tears.

“Why are you crying?”

“Because I love you, and you look so much more alive than the last time I saw you. I’m thrilled that you’re willing to let me try to help, and scared that I might mess up. I lost Karen, I don’t know that I could take losing you, too.”

“Kyle mentioned your friend. I’m sorry that you went through that.”

Mandy reached out her hand, and when Mindy took it, led her to the sofa.

“What Kyle said was true, but there was more that I’m sure he didn’t tell you. Mindy, Karen was my first lover.”

Mindy was suddenly terribly confused. Mandy must have figured it out from her expression.

“Mindy, we love who we love. I know your church says it’s wrong, but Karen and I loved each other so much. My parents knew, and they’ve always felt that love is good, regardless. Karen’s parents had no idea. After she was raped, I wanted to be with her, to help and just to be there for her. Her parents were working with some counselor affiliated with their church, though, and he didn’t think I had anything to offer. When I finally told her parents that we weren’t just friends, but lovers, they slammed the door in my face and wouldn’t even talk to me.

“I don’t know for sure if I could have helped, but love can do incredible things, and I still think it might have helped bring her back to the living. After she killed herself, I wasn’t even allowed to attend the funeral. Now, though, Kyle and I visit her grave each month and I leave a red rose in memory of our love and a wonderful life that was cut short.

Mandy wasn’t the only one crying by that point. Mindy pulled the tiny girl into a hug and wept about a girl she’d never met.

When their tears had dried, she let Mandy go and said, “And you love me?”

“I do. Please realize, it’s not about sex or being lovers. It’s about the way I feel when I’m around you. Mindy, I’ve loved you for almost as long as I’ve known you.”

“But what about Kyle?”

“I love him, too. It’s different, but at the same time, it’s the same. If you do a little research, you’ll find that marriages with more than two people are pretty common, worldwide. Knowing that, I don’t see any reason why I can’t love two people at the same time.”

Mindy looked at the cute redhead and felt something new. It wasn’t desire, but there was a comforting warmth in her stomach. She’d liked Mandy right from the start, but maybe it had become something more over time.

“I’ll have to think about it,” she said. “I know the church says it’s wrong, but they’re also the ones who told me I’m soiled goods and should become a nun because no good man would ever want me. Last night Kyle proved them wrong. Um, he says you’ll be okay with him having taken a shower with me.”

Mandy grinned at her and said, “Honestly, I envy him some, but, yes, I’m more than okay with it. I hoped that he could do what you haven’t been able to do by yourself — help you feel clean. I’ll bet he was rock hard, too!”

“He was! I’m still trying to make sense of everything, but I saw with my own eyes that he finds me desirable. And now you envy him showering with me. Somehow that doesn’t feel wrong. I can’t say I love you, not right now, but I feel something different about you.”

Mindy looked up at Kyle, standing behind the sofa, and said, “I think I’m still trying to figure out what love is. Up til now, the only person I’ve ever loved was Kyle. I’m so sorry, Kyle, I so badly wanted you to be my first.”

She couldn’t hold it in then, she broke down. Her secret dream since she was a little girl was to marry her wonderful cousin. She’d never told him because she was afraid he’d think it was just a crush. She planned to wait until they were older, after school, when he’d be sure it was more than a crush, it was real love.

He’d had other girlfriends, but she never thought he really loved them. Then he found Mandy. It didn’t take her long to recognize that Kyle loved her, and she loved him just as much. She had wondered since then why she didn’t hate Mandy for stealing the person she wanted for her husband, but instead she liked her. Her thoughts were interrupted when he leaned over the back of the sofa and kissed her.

“Then I will be,” he said. “I will be proud to be the first person to make love to you. Mindy, as far as I’m concerned, you’re still untouched and pure. Rape can’t take that away, all it can do is take away your hymen, and I’d be shocked if you still had one considering the all of the sports you’ve played.”

She couldn’t help it — she blushed. He’d seen her naked, washed her with his bare hands and hugged her wet body to his, but she blushed when he mentioned her hymen.

“He’s right, Mindy,” Mandy said. “Rape doesn’t change whether you’re pure and chaste. Your virginity is yours to give, not someone else’s to take. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.”

It was what Mindy most wanted to believe — that she wasn’t soiled goods, that she was still untouched and worthy of Kyle. But her priest, parents and headmaster kept telling her the opposite. With her hopes, the love of her life and his girlfriend on one side and all of the authority figures on the other, she was suddenly adrift — unsure what to believe. She stretched out on the sofa and bawled, her mind awhirl.

When she’d cried herself out, gulping air to keep from hiccuping, she realized that she was on her side, with her head in Mandy’s lap. Mandy’s fingers were lightly brushing across her face. When she looked up, Mandy looked down at her, tear tracks fresh on her face.

Mandy said, “You’re getting counseling, aren’t you?”

“I am, yes. It started while I was still in the hospital. Father Michael sat with me and ... and told me that I needed to accept God’s will, that I was no longer chaste and to start preparing for the life of a nun.”

“Oh, holy fuck!” Kyle shouted. “Does he hate you in particular, or all women?”

Mandy looked at him and said, “Shhh. I agree with you, but keep it down, okay?” Looking back at Mindy, she said, “Since then?”

Mindy nodded, then said, “But I don’t remember any of it. I haven’t paid any attention since Father Michael. I tried to do what he said, but I just can’t. I couldn’t accept the path laid out for me, and it was like I couldn’t see any other. All I could see was a dark road to a black pit.”

Mandy then said, “I interviewed a minister while I was researching my paper last year, and he said the bible gives rape victims special dispensation — they should not be considered to have engaged in sex. I don’t know, maybe it’s different in Catholicism, but that was what he had learned. If we can find you a new therapist, one that’s not associated with your parents or your church, would you go to them? Would you try to get better?”

Again unsure of herself, Mindy could only look for support. “I know Kyle loves me. You say that you do, too. Would you two be willing to be there with me? I think I need someone I know is on my side for support.”

Mandy smiled at her and said, “Of course. I said anything, and I meant it. First, we’ll need to find one who’ll let us be there. Then we’ll need to arrange for them to treat you. I’m a little worried that your parents will stand in the way, but we’ll make it work somehow.”

“Okay, then. I’m not sure I can do it for me, but I think I can do it for me and the two of you.”

For the rest of the day, she talked with Kyle and Mandy. She could tell they were trying to build her up, and sometimes it worked, for a while. Then she’d crash back, down into the pit of self-loathing as her father’s and her priest’s words came back to her. Still, she knew that it was possible to feel good again, so she fought the despair.

She spent that night again snuggled up to Kyle’s back, while he snuggled up to Mandy. Since Mandy was there, they each wore one of Mindy’s T-shirts. Kyle’s was just a little tight in the shoulders, and Mandy’s could have served her as a dress. It was odd, but she found she enjoyed reaching across Kyle to run her fingers through Mandy’s hair.

Carol spent the night at home in her own bed, the filling in a sandwich. She held Naomi while Tyler held her, and occasionally poked her in the butt. It was wonderful — she was surrounded by those she loved, and she didn’t need to lie to her parents, or even herself, anymore.

She eventually risked looking at the clock and found it was already half-past eight. The movement of her head must have been enough to clue in the others because she was suddenly good morning’d from both sides. She wasn’t normally a slug, but the events of the last few days had apparently caught up with her.

“Okay, I’m finally awake. Probably time to get on with the day. Do we all want to shower together again, or do we want to get rolling at a reasonable time?”

“Sis, it’s Sunday. We’re not going to church. In fact, I don’t think we have anything planned but being together. Why should we care when we get done with our shower?”

That brought her up short. After a moment’s thought, she said, “Force of habit. Together it is!”

“Sounds good, love,” Naomi said from in front of her. “Maybe this time we want to change it up. How about we gang up, two people washing the other, and see what that’s like?”

It turned out to be a bit quicker and extremely stimulating.

Her parents had an early tee time and left just after the three of them got up, so they were on their own for the morning. There were no omelettes for breakfast, just cereal and toast, but she enjoyed the meal anyway. Over breakfast, she and Tyler did what teens all over the country do at that time: check their phones. Only Tyler was in a popular clique and that was the football team, so there wasn’t much backlog. There was one, though, from Kyle from the previous evening. Tyler shared it with the others.

‘Thnk u n Naomi. Mindy btter. Mandy here 2.’

Carol looked thoughtful, remembering Amanda’s passion for helping rape victims. Then she smiled and said, “I think Mindy is about to get the full-court press.”

“Huh? Where do you mean, sis?”

“First, this goes no further, right?” With their agreement, she said, “I’ve known Mandy for years. I met her in maybe fifth grade, when Jason Neal cornered her at school one day. Do you know Jason, Naomi?”

“I’d recognize him, but I’ve never spoken to him.”

“Remember I said there are some people who try to avoid me? He was one of those who tried to pick on Ty when we were younger, only he didn’t learn his lesson the first time. Since the second time, he’s been scared shitless when I get too close. He left in a hurry when I approached the little flame-haired girl he’d cornered.

“Anyway, once I got to know her, I found out she’s almost a force of nature. She’s so friendly and alive, and she has more energy than I’d have if I was OD’ing on caffeine — I’d almost swear she vibrates standing still.

“She had a very good friend a couple of years ago who went to one of the small, parochial schools — not Catholic but one of the minor Protestant sects. There were some rumors that they were lovers, but as far as I know, they were just rumors. Her friend was raped by some older boys on her way home from school one day. Eventually, she committed suicide.”