Chapter 7

I crippled slightly as I walked out of Big Mama’s room without looking back, only to find my own small bikini set right outside the door where I left it. My legs were trembling, my anus hurting, and my thigh felt as if I just got hit by a bus.

I felt dizzy. I had to support myself against the wall outside the room to get back into that skimpy pink bikini I wish I never bought in the first place. I was still too overwhelmed, too shocked to contemplate what just happened. The thong actually hurt in my crack as I pulled it up, while the tremor in my legs made it difficult to even keep standing.

I felt trapped, hurt, scared, as I walked back through the large main space that seemed like the center of the house without any particular purpose. I figured I’d just go back to T’s room to take a hot shower and pass out on the bed.

There was a group of three gangsters standing at the kitchen counter when I walked by. I didn’t even look at them, I didn’t want to look at anyone. It felt as if it was a walk of shame, coming out of that room.

People had seen me being used by Big Mama, some of them had seen how I was made into the old, small, but oh so aggressive woman’s bitch completely.

I didn’t look into anyone’s eyes, but I just felt that they must be smirking at me as if they had won, as if I finally got the lesson I deserved, according to them and their constant accusations.

“Yo, Princess.”

With a weary feeling, I turned my eyes towards the three gangsters. There was Bee, the older gangster woman whose crew I had to entertain the night before, one of the much younger gangsters who had been there as well, and Alyssa. Alyssa had that ever present teeth baring smile on her face while looking at me.

“Take a shower and put some clothes on, we’re gonna go outside.”

I nodded. What else could I do? Inked. I was going to be inked. The thought stressed me out even more than I already was. I stumbled and almost fell in the corridor towards the room where Alexa had me get ready before, preparing me for yet another deeply humiliating encounter. I couldn’t believe I was still even here, while I was supposed to attend classes that day. I envied the girls who were in class at that moment, living their lives without worries.

I angrily kicked off the high heeled shoes, which made me grind my teeth because it just made my body hurt more, all over. With my hands still shaking, I managed to take off the skimpy bikini, and I felt the tears well in my eyes as I got into the shower cabin. I sobbed under the very hot water for god knows how long. The hot water at least relaxed my muscles a bit, but mentally, I was in a daze full of demons.

As if in a state of apathy, I dried my hair, even brushed it with one of the brushes in the room, after finding my own bag in the corner of the room, and getting back into the much more comfy clothes I had been wearing when I arrived here in the middle of the night with Gab - my Adidas sweat suit, my white tennis socks and sneakers, and much comfier white, regular, cotton panties.

I wasn’t sure if I really thought I would be taken home, or whether it was wishful thinking, but I took my travel bag with me as I left the room, and walked back into the main area. The pain in my leg had become a bit more bearable after the shower, although I could still feel the nagging pain in my ass very well with every step I took. I didn’t want to think of the cause of that pain, and I did not want anyone to know.

“What’s with the bag?”

Bee looked at me with a serious face, her eyebrows raised, and I couldn’t really tell whether she was acting or not. Alyssa was slightly behind her, smirking.

I didn’t know what to answer.

“You ain’t going anywhere. Leave the bag here.”

She sounded as if she was correcting me. Correcting my way of thinking.

“Okay well, I...” I wanted to turn around to put it back in the room.

“Just leave it on the floor. Someone will take care of it.”

Her eyes were focused on me, in a way that seemed as if she wanted to assert her control over me, ruling out every form of discussion.

“Okay...”

With a powerless, deeply disappointed feeling, and my legs feeling weak, I just put the bag on the floor. Leaving my bag in that open area felt as if my privacy was intruded to an even larger extent.

“Aight, we’re going.”

She tapped the young gangster girl of her crew on the back of her head, crudely, but that just seemed to be their style, because the girl just walked with her without taking notice. All the gangsters dressed and looked similar. As if they were an army of some sort. Sneakers, baggy pants, and long shirts, most of them having braided hair, tightly over their heads.

I walked with them, submissively. As if they beat me into belonging to them. That’s what it felt like, anyway.

With every step, I felt the dull pain in my leg, caused by being hit three times with that scary, thick cane by Big Mama. Her pimp stick. And even though I walked seemingly normally again, it felt as if I had just done a very extreme workout at the gym, but worse, as the pain concentrated so much in my right outer thigh. Even the thought of having been hit with a stick freaked me out. I couldn’t believe that actually happened.

I felt so helpless, like a little child, as they stepped into the car, both in the front, leaving me no choice but to step in the back.

The car radio was switched on, and with that ever present hip hop music on high volume, we passed by the heavily armed guards at the gate of the house a minute later, off the hill, and apparently towards the highway.

Bee and the younger gangster were exchanging words once in a while, but I couldn’t understand what they were saying because of the loud music and their heavy slang. In a way, it was a moment of peace for me. Well, peace was probably not the right word. Lonely despair.

I was supposed to be in college. I was supposed to have slept at home last night. I was supposed to have my normal life back, as if this whole stupid club thing never happened. I was supposed to have lattes with my friend Christine like nothing every happened. I wanted to see my younger sister on Skype being a goofball making faces while I called my parents.

It didn’t take long before I had to wipe a tear off my face. And another. I was sobbing quietly, and from the corner of my eye I saw that Bee was checking on me in the rear view mirror. But she ignored the tears. She simply didn’t seem to care. There was only that ever controlling look in her eyes.

The car exited the highway, and we drove into the downtown area. When we passed the street where my university was, I felt myself cringe. I didn’t want to be seen in this car, even though that was impossible anyway, with the blinded windows.

A few blocks further down, the car stopped on the side of the road alongside a strip of stores. The gangsters got out, and I followed their lead. The younger gangster looked at me.

“You been cryin’?” she said, and she even smiled, as if it amused her. They were such bullies. Every single one of them.

I didn’t know what to answer, and just slightly nodded, while she kept looking at me expectantly, on the sidewalk, where I grew paranoid about being seen with them. In public. The only reason I acknowledged what she said was that I didn’t dare to not give any response at all.

“‘s Alright baby, we gonna make you a real Tigres girl now, sure you gonna be proud.”

Bee just stood waiting as the gangster girl who was probably even a few years younger than me, made me feel so small.

“Here, I’ll take your hand,” she said, and I swear the young girl had a sarcastic smile on her face as she took my hand.

I couldn’t do anything about it. I was about a head taller than her, yet I felt like a child, as we walked towards a small door in between two stores, where Bee pressed the button next to the door.

We waited for a short while, before the door was opened by an older, butch looking woman, completely covered in tattoos. Even her face was completely covered.

Bee and the younger gangster greeted her the way they greeted other gang members, using gestures and signs I still couldn’t follow. The woman just looked at me, but didn’t greet me. As if I wasn’t one of them. Hostile in a way, but indifferent at the same time.

We walked down a long corridor, before we entered a room on the right. It was something I had only seen from the outside so far, a tattoo studio. Drawings and photographs of tattoos all over the wall, a large leather chair in the middle of the room, like a dentist chair, with a stool next to it, and two chairs against the wall. It felt as if I was going to get surgery. As if something was going to change here.

“So what’s your name, baby,” she then said to me, once we’re all in side.

“Princess,” I answered awkwardly, probably sounding quite nervous.

She didn’t comment on the ridiculous name the gang had gave me, but just gestured at the chair. She was probably used to it.

“Well why don’t you lie down here for a while, Princess.”

I walked towards the chair, my nerves increasing, while Bee and the younger gangster took a seat on the two chairs on the side of the room, paying attention only at their phones.

“How about you lift your sweater and shirt to your titties, and pull them pants down just a bit.”

I did as she told me, ignoring the humiliating language she used. What could I do but ignore it, and let it all happen?

“That’s right,” she then said, as she took what looked like a pen, and started to draw on my naked skin, right above my hip.

I didn’t want to look, but I did. I had to see what was going on. It was my body. She was drawing a logo I had seen before a few times, maybe unconsciously. But as I kept watching, I started to recognize the Tigres logo. The tiger. I hoped that it would be at least very small, but it was definitely big enough to stand out immediately. I could tell she had done this many times before, and it didn’t take her more than five minutes, that’s what it felt like.

Then, when the tattoo machine finally hit my skin, the lights went out in my head, and I must have passed out for I don’t know how long.

I wandered around in a confusing dream, trying to find my way out of a labyrinth, frantically running through a thick blue fog.

It was only when I felt a plastic cup pressed against my lip that I started to wake up, barely being able to separate my strange dream from reality.

“There she is. Here, drink some water, baby,” the tattoo artist sat next to me, and Bee and the younger gangster were standing next to my chair. I had actually passed out.

My sweater was still pulled up, and there was a bandage above my hip. But not only that. There was a small, blinking stud right at my navel. I was pierced, as well as inked. The skin around it was still a bit red. I felt so out of control. I couldn’t get my thoughts in order.

“Bet you’ve been partying all night, weren’t you, falling asleep like that. So listen up. You gotta keep that bandage on for another few hours, and after that, you gotta moisturize there every once in a while, real good. And no hot tubs with clients for a few weeks.”

I just nodded, still barely awake, hardly registering what she said.

“‘s alright, she’ll figure it out,” Bee comments. “Aight, get up.”

I carefully then let the sweater slide down, and with my leg still hurting, my skin above my hip aching, I walked out of the tattoo studio, back down the long corridor and towards the door, walking in front of Bee and the younger gangster.

Bee said goodbye to the tattoo artist, while the younger gangster handed me a strip of what looked like painkillers, after I opened the door and walked back to the car parked on the side of the road. I just took it, without saying anything.

“Some good shit to relax.”

It’s the only thing she said, right before I let the strip slide in my pocket, and the three of us went back into the car.

I wanted to go home. I wanted this nightmare to stop. But I knew they weren’t planning to take me home. My things were at the gang’s mansion still, including my wallet and my phone.

I saw normal life passing by, as I looked out of the car window from the back seat, looking at the people on the streets. People living in freedom. The blinded car windows were the only thing separating me from them.

My legs started to tremble a bit as slowly, reality sank in yet again. How I was captured. How I was now marked for life, and having no idea how to live with that. How they had my body pierced and inked without any consent from my side. I had ended up in a world of pure evil.

The car went up the highway again, but took an exit soon afterwards, in the direction of a large M sign. The younger gangster turned to me while we were still driving into that direction, and into the drive-through.

“What do you want, a Big Mac with fries?”

I nodded. As terrible as I felt, one of the few things I did now realize was that I was hungry, and I was not picky.

The car stopped along the intercom to place orders, and Bee did the talking. After a while, we were able to drive through to fetch our food. I actually felt lucky that I couldn’t be seen by the girl behind the window delivering our order, although she must have known there was someone in the back, as Bee handed me my burger and a bag of fries.

We drove off, while Bee started to eat her burger behind the wheel. I only noticed how hungry I felt as I started eating too. I needed that. The greasy, sugary meal kicked in, and for a moment, I actually felt a bit of peace inside, as I was finally able to fill my empty stomach. I don’t think I had ever eaten that fast before, and I could fall asleep right then and there, after I finished it. Once the young gangster girl finished eating too, she turned and took the paper wraps of the burger and the completely empty paper bag for the fries from me, and just threw it out of her window. So very antisocial. But what did I expect?

We kept driving, and some 10 minutes later, we arrived back at the mansion, at the highly secured gate. The guard on duty followed the security protocol strictly; stopping the car, taking a look inside, then letting us pass.

Again I felt how sore my body was as we got out of the car, and passed by the second guard, heavily armed in front of the back door of the house, near the parking lot.

The three of us walked back into the dreaded house, and I saw a small group of gangsters further down, talking to each other. Gab was with them, and as soon as she noticed us, she walked towards me.

“T’s gonna be home soon, go to Alexa to prepare you, and take care of T when she comes.”

No small talk, just orders. I nodded, and while still barely able to think clearly, I walked towards the hallway where Alexa’s “office” was; the dressing and makeup room where I had been a few times already.

When I opened the door, I saw her there sitting in the makeup chair, smoking and playing on her phone. I felt a bit awkward having to disturb her, but she got up by herself soon enough.

“Did it hurt?” she asked, apparently knowing exactly what happened.

I shook my head.

“I was asleep.”

“Asleep? Through that...?”

She looked at me, clearly surprised, with what seemed like a slightly amused smile on her face.

I just nodded, with an awkward, clownesque smile, and I desperately wanted to see the humor of that little thing. Being able to laugh about something, anything, with anyone.

“I never hear that before,” she remarked with her heavy European accent.

“I need to prepare for when T comes home.”

“OK, clothes off,” she pointed at the comfy clothes I was wearing, barely paying attention.

I started taking off the sneakers, the socks, the jogging pants. I wasn’t wearing a bra, and I finally took off my own comfortable panties that I had been wearing on our trip to the tattoo place.

“Go to the shower to wash. Use cloth. Do not take shower.” She pointed at the bandage on my hip. “You can take shower later again.”

I just nodded.

“Make pussy and ass clean.”

I heard her words echo in my head as I walked off to the shower cabin in the room. I didn’t want to think about the things that were ahead of me.

At least I got some privacy with the cabin door closed, and somehow that little space felt like the most quiet and safe spot in the house.

I took a cloth, and soaked it in warm water. I washed my body, carefully avoiding the bandage.

I hadn’t even seen the actual tattoo, apart from the drawing the tattoo woman had made. The whole idea of having gotten a tattoo, something to remind me of this for life, completely against my will, drove me crazy. I didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want to take the bandage off, even. How could they do this to me!

I couldn’t stop the endless train of thoughts, and while I started to clean my ass and pussy, running the cloth in between my cheeks, I was once again reminded why they were keeping me here. For exactly these body parts. A feeling of deep humiliation took hold of me. I closed my eyes and let out a deep sigh.

Once my body was clean enough, or at least, clean enough for god knows what they were going to have me do next, I got out of the shower cabin, and walked back into the dressing room to find Alexa, who was going to have to prepare me further.

While I was still bare naked, she pointed to a chair, where she had laid out something for me to wear.

“That is what T likes,” she said.

The outfit that Alexa had laid out for me on the chair was entirely pink. Everything. From the skimpy nightie with the small thong beside it, to the stockings, to the high heeled ankle boots. It looked somewhat like the white outfit I had worn on that one cursed night I decided to get into that little adventure at the club, although on a closer look, I noticed the frills that decorated both the thong and the nightie. I was going to look like some kind of girly girl barbie doll, and a very slutty one at that.

I just nodded, knowing very well I had no say in this. I sat down on one of the chairs in the room, and pulled the pink, seamed holdup stockings up my legs, making sure the seam was at least straight. The thong followed, and it looked ridiculous. It was like the micro thongs I had been wearing ever since this bad trip started, but the frills along the crotch just made it look weirdly girlish. I tried to just ignore all of it, but I couldn’t. It felt as if they kept pushing me further and further away from who I really was. I pulled the nightie over my head, and of course, this piece of clothing was also barely long enough to cover my ass. Fortunately, the wide, soft, sheer fabric wasn’t going to touch the bandage. It even covered it a bit.

I slipped my pink stocking clad feet in the pink ankle boots, and pulled the laces to tie them up. Once I stood up straight, Alexa noticed me, and walked towards me.

“Is the size okay,” she asked, looking down at my shoes, casually pointing at them.

“Yeah ... I think so,” I said, while they definitely felt too tight. It was as if every bit of assertiveness within me was slowly fading.

She knelt in front of me, and repeatedly pressed where my toes were.

“You probably don’t wear long,” she mentioned, and now we both knew that they were slightly too small for my size. I just nodded, and while I wondered what she knew that I didn’t, I didn’t have the energy to ask about what I was going to have to do.

She stood up straight again, and pointed at my hip, where the bandage was.

“Did they give you the pills?”

I nodded, and realized they were still in the pocket of the pants I had been wearing.

“Take two. It can hurt when you have sex.”

Sex. I was going to have sex. With T. While I walked towards the chair where my own clothes were draped over, I heard Alexa pour a glass of water. I found the strip with painkillers that one of the gangsters had given me, and popped two out.

I took the glass from Alexa, and she waited patiently while I downed the two painkillers at once, with a gulp of water.

I handed her the glass, and with the glass still in her hand, she then pushed gently into my lower back.

“Come.”

She led me out of the dressing room, and pointed into the corridor.

“You go to T’s room. You wait there for her.”

I nodded, I knew where it was, even though I had only been there for a short time, and since that was the only instruction she gave me, I paraded down the hallway towards the door she mentioned.

“Watch how you walk,” I then heard Alexa say from behind me. It sounded like a warning. I felt so deeply frustrated when apparently even when no one was around, this was expected.

I looked over my shoulder, with a slight nod, while she was just staring at me. I hated to do it, but I did my best again, while walking down the hallway, swaying my hips as I had been doing before while people were watching, seductively, feeling the sheer material brush against my ass, as if I was putting on some kind of show, while no one was there. Did they really have to go this far with all this?

I opened the door to T’s room and switched on the light. The red rugged carpets, the Jacuzzi, the shower cabin, the large bed with the purple sheets, everything tidy under the dim light of the silver chandelier on the ceiling.

Even though I had no idea when T would show up, I treasured this moment of being alone. I walked towards the bed, and sat down on the soft sheets. The softness of the sheets was just too comfortable after all that I had been through, and I lowered myself on it, enjoying the soft feeling of the mattress underneath my back. The painkillers had a sedating effect, even though I didn’t know what they were exactly. I just felt deeply, deeply tired.

I wasn’t sure whether I actually slept, or what time it was, when I suddenly heard the door open, and when I opened my eyes, a beam of light came in from the corridor. The door wasn’t opened completely, but I could hear T’s voice clearly, talking to someone.

I hurried off the bed, patting and straightening the sheets to cover up the fact that I had been lying there, and stood right next to the bed, when T then finally came in, dressed in all black as before, wearing black army boots this time.

She stood still for a moment, while at the door, looking at me, looking me over, and I wasn’t sure my presence was a surprise to her.

I wasn’t sure what to do, but her quiet presence made me nervous. It felt as if I had to do something. I took a few steps towards the door, where she was standing, that small figure, that very dark skin, those eyes that made it seem as if she was always on fire.

“Hi princess, baby,” she then said.

“Hi,” I just said, quietly, standing there in the room, awkwardly. I felt so small when being with her. She was the one who had been claiming me completely, up to a point where she was taking over my life.

“Over here,” she then said, and despite her looking tired, she had the capability of immediately having me on my toes. Big Mama had it. She had it.

For a second, I considered rushing towards her, but then I realized that other things might be expected of me. I wanted to do the right thing. Despite having felt sedated by the painkillers, looking into her eyes, the fear of not doing things right was slowly taking over again.

I walked towards her at a normal pace, but making sure I exaggerated the way I walked, moving my hips, my back arched more than I normally would. She just stared at me, and I took her silence as approval.

It only took a few seconds of looking into her eyes when I realized what she was going to expect. The kissing. The ritual kissing. And even though I must have seemed slightly unsure, I came even closer, and looking into those ever sharp eyes while leaning down towards her, I reached for her lips with mine, and within seconds, our tongues were twirling. She had expected it, that much was sure going by her response.

She didn’t break the kiss, as I then felt her hand slide over my hip, and for a second I was afraid she’d touch the bandage. But her hand slid right past it, towards my ass, lifting up the small amount of fabric, and giving my left, bare cheek a firm squeeze, and another one. A slap. More fondling, as I tried my best to stand still. Not a slap for punishment, but out of sexual desire. I could feel it.

Finally, she broke the kiss.

“Damn I missed that sweet white ass,” she mumbled. I was still too much on edge to care about what condescending language she used. I still even felt my anus hurt when she squeezed my cheek hard once again.

“Undress me, baby,” she then said simply.

I stood up straight, without a word, while T looked at me, calm but sharp as always.

I awkwardly reached out to her, and it felt as if I had to be careful with everything. I struggled somewhat while unbuttoning her black blouse. But she didn’t care.

“I’ve had a rough day, baby,” she then started talking while I undressed her.

“Had to take care of some real nasty shit. But you gonna make me feel all better, ain’t you baby,” she said, while I carefully pulled her blouse off her shoulder, to reveal the black tank top she was wearing, through which her nipples poked slightly.

“Yes,” I just answered, my tone as obedient as I could. I was scared enough of her to never hesitate with these things.

I wasn’t sure what to continue with, but I bent down, as she clearly wasn’t planning to make any effort herself. Sitting on one knee, I untied her black boots, and helped her out of them, one by one.

Without saying a word, I then carefully took off her socks, with her offering her feet, one by one. She didn’t say anything, and when I looked up, she was just lighting a cigarette. Although it became clear soon enough from the smell that it wasn’t a normal cigarette. It wasn’t even weed. I didn’t know what it was.

I then finally unbuttoned her black khaki pants, and slid them down. She was wearing regular panties. Even her underwear was black. She simply stepped out of her pants while inhaling deeply, and blowing out the smoke with a sigh.

“That’s enough baby, I need to relax a bit. You gonna relax with me and help me fall asleep,” she said, as she stood there in just her tank top and panties. It wasn’t a question.

She took another look at me, glancing over my body.

“How about you take off those panties for me, give me something to look at.”

I was immediately triggered by the harsh lessons I had learned from, well, multiple people, but Big Mama in particular. About just what was expected when I was asked to give someone something to look at. And although T looked more relaxed than before, I started to feel tense again. I was not going to make mistakes if I could help it.

While standing in front of her still, I reached under the short sheer pink nightie I was wearing, hooked my thumbs under the thong, and even bent through my knees a bit as I slowly slid it down, making it look sexier than might be expected. I carefully pulled it off the pink, high heeled ankle boots I was wearing, and left it on the floor.

She didn’t talk. She just looked at me, and I swear I could see a slight smile on her face. And I didn’t even stop there. I had become so dead scared of any kind of reprimands, that I felt I had to put in a bit of extra effort into everything I did.

While she was still glancing at my body, I then lifted the sheer, short material of the nightie, and actually showed her my pussy. It embarrassed me that from the outside it must have seemed that I did it completely out of my own free will, while the truth was that I was simply scared.

“Mmm ... that’s a pretty pussy, baby girl,” she just remarked, clearly satisfied with the way I was behaving.

And even while it was humiliating, it was at least physically less painful than being punished for any supposed mistake I could be making. It felt like a relief.

“I see you got inked today,” she said, while she reached out and lifted the sheer fabric slightly more to reveal the bandage.

“You’re a proud Tigres girl now, ain’t you,” she said, looking into my eyes.

“Yes,” I answered immediately. I knew better than disagreeing with her in any way.

“Mm ... come with me baby,” she said, as she took my hand, and started walking towards the bed.

I just couldn’t get used to the contrast. Me being much taller than that small, dark brown skinned woman, in that pink, slutty outfit, being walked around like that as if she owned me. But I remembered all the terrifying things about this whole situation all too well. I felt a deep fear towards her.

She walked us to the bed, and she sat down on it, inhaling from that cigarette with that weird smell once more. She didn’t give me any hint of what she wanted me to do, and it seemed we were just going to sit on the bed together. I sat down too, and I realized that the harsh lesson I was taught by Big Mama made me feel nervous about every move. But it was clear soon enough that I had learned some things, but not everything.