Chapter 1

I’ve known Amber since the third grade and when I first started to be interested in girls she was the one I was interested in. But Amber wasn’t interested in me. At least three times in the sixth, seventh and eighth grades I’d asked her for a date and had gotten a no every time.

In the ninth grade I finally got a yes which led to a second, third, fourth and fifth date. I got a kiss on the third and by the fifth we were making out. I had big plans for our sixth date, but a day before it was to happen she broke the date with me. When I asked her why she told me Ronnie Holbrook had asked her out.

Three weeks later she asked me I was avoiding her and I told her I didn’t want to interfere with her relationship with Holbrook and she told me she wasn’t in a relationship with him. It had just been one date.

“No it wasn’t just one date. It was a date you broke with me. If you want to date other guys go ahead, but you don’t break a date with me to do it!”

She promised it would never happen again so I asked her out, she said yes, and we picked up right where we left off.

Six more dates and then it was a repeat of the Holbrook incident with Billy Neubert. That time I only had to avoid her for a week because summer vacation started and every summer I go out to my Uncle Brady’s farm to work. I saved the money he paid me so I could buy a car when I was old enough to get my driver’s license.

Summer over and I was back to school. I saw Amber around and she was always with some guy I’d never seen before.

About a month after school had started I was having lunch in the school cafeteria when Amber sat down at my table and asked:

“Why haven’t you called me?”

“Does the name Billy Neubert come to mind? And even if I was of a mind to your time seems to be taken up by the guy you have had with you since school started up.”

“That’s my cousin Rory; he moved here and I’ve been showing him around. As far as Billy goes it was only a one time date.”

I just looked at her and didn’t say anything, but she must have read my mind because she said “I have to date other guys. My mother won’t let me date just one boy. She won’t even let me go steady with a boy until the eleventh grade. She says I need to know what different guys are like before I can get in a steady relationship. I go on four or five dates with you and then I date another guy once or twice and then another four or five with you. You are my guy and I am yours if you can put up with what I have to do to keep my mother off my back.”

It sounded reasonable to me so I asked her for a date and the cycle started. Four or five dates with me and then one or two with someone else and that’s the way it was all the way through the tenth grade.

Summer came and it was off to Uncle Brady’s farm. I turned sixteen in August and was looking forward to getting my driver’s license and buying a car when I got home. Then Uncle Brady surprised me. He asked me if I would rather have the farm truck instead of my summer’s wages. It was a no brainer for me. If I took the truck I would still have all the money I had saved up to by a car. I of course said I’d take the truck and Uncle Brady laughed and said:

“Somehow I was pretty sure you would say that” and then he said it was also a birthday present and then he handed me a birthday card. It was from my parents and it had a short note in it. It said:

“Drive safe on your way home and your uncle has your birthday present from us.”

I asked Brady what it was and he told me it was the money for plates and insurance.

The truck was a nine year old four wheel drive long bed Chevy Silverado, but it was in pretty good shape and I’d been driving it around the farm for the last four years. That’s right. I’d been driving it since I was twelve. I’d been driving the truck and Uncle Brady’s John Deere every summer I’d worked for him. I found out it wasn’t at all uncommon for farm kids and kids who worked as summer help on farms (like me) to start driving on the farm at an early age.

It wasn’t always on the farm either. You had to get out onto County 6 and drive three miles to get to other acreage and one plot had you taking County 6 to Elk Road and then left for two miles.

A week before I was to go home Uncle Brady took me into the small town that was close to the farm, plated and insured the truck in my name and then took me to take the tests and do the paperwork to get me my driver’s license.

I found out later that it had been a hell of a lot easier getting things done while at Uncles than it would have been back at home in a large city. I guess it was one of the benefits of being a farm kid (or considered to be a farm kid) in a small town.

I got home the day before school was to start and I called Amber to see if we could get together that evening. She told me she already had a date, but was looking forward to seeing me now that I was home and she would make sure to have lunch with me in the school cafeteria the next day.

As much as I was looking forward to seeing Amber I made a decision over the summer. When Amber went off to date some other guy I was going to date other girls. Or at least I would try. I had no idea of how successful I would be at it because Amber was the only girl I had spent time with.

The next day at school I went to the office and got a student parking pass. I didn’t have any morning classes with Amber so I didn’t see her until lunch time. We caught up on things that happened over the summer and then I asked her if her mother’s position on dating had changed any and she told me no.

“I thought you told me way back that she would start letting you go steady once you started eleventh grade.”

“She did, but she had a valid point when she said I needed to see what other guys were like before I picked one to go steady with.”

“I thought you had already picked me. You said I was your guy and you were mine if I could just put up with your dating others until now. I put up with it and now we are here. I’ve spent all summer expecting that we would be going steady as soon as I got back to school.”

“You get five or six dates to everyone else one or two. To me that seems like we are pretty much going steady.”

“Not to me. I would have thought you would have dated enough guys while I was gone to get seeing what other guys were like out of your system.”

“Don’t be that way. You will get most of them.”

“I’m going to want plenty of notice when you make a date with someone else. I don’t want any more of asking you on Thursday what you would like to do on Friday or Saturday only to be told you have a date with another guy set up.”

“I can do that.”

Except she didn’t. I made plans for Saturday night and on Friday at lunch in the cafeteria I told her what I had planned and got the “I’m sorry, but I already have a date for that night.”

I gave her a hard look and then said “Have fun” and I got up and walked away from her.

As I was one of the few guys in the eleventh grade that had a vehicle it wasn’t hard to get a date and yes, I knew it was more of the truck being we could go places and do things that a guy without a license or access to a car could do than my amazing looks or sparkling personality that sealed the date, but at my age a date was a date right?

When school let out I hurried out to the truck. Knowing Amber was expecting me to wait for her and give her a ride home I started the truck and got the hell out of the student parking lot. As I was pulling out of the lot I was passing the spot where the kids waited on the school bus and I saw Kimberly Atikins standing there. Kim lived in the same neighborhood I did. On a whim I stopped and asked her if she wanted a ride home and she gave me a big smile and got in the truck. We made small talk as I drove and then about two minutes before I got to her place she suddenly asked:

“Why haven’t you ever asked me for a date? I mean we’ve known each other for damned near ever and I’m not a bad looking girl even if I do say so myself.”

It caught me by surprise, but I knew what to say to that.

“I never did because I had something going with Amber.”

“Why? All she ever did was run around on you and that’s while you were here. When you were gone for the summer she spent her time with Ronnie Holbrook.”

That was news to me. I knew she dated, but she’d always led me to believe it was always with a different guy and she only dated them once or twice.

“Every summer” I asked.

“Every one for the past three summers.”

I remembered it was a couple of years ago when she broke a date with me to go out with Holbrook. I was silent until I pulled into her driveway and then I asked:

“Are you doing anything tomorrow night?”

“Nothing planned. Why?”

“Would you like to go out with me?”

She said yes and we had a great time and when I got her home I asked if she would like to do something on Sunday. She said yes and we had another great time and I got a pretty nice kiss when I took her home. I asked her if it was too soon to ask her out for the next Friday and she said she would make sure to hold it open for me and we could talk more about it at school the next day.

“Riding with me or are you taking the school bus?”

“With you silly man.”

Since school started I had been picking Amber up and giving her a ride to school, but that day I didn’t call her and let her know. If she let the school bus go and waited for me? Oh well.

When I got to the school cafeteria I saw Kim sitting alone and after I went through the line I joined her. The chair I sat down on had me facing the door and the serving line and about five minutes after sitting down I saw Amber come in, go through the line and then look around. She spotted me and seemed surprised to see me sitting with another girl since I always sat with her, at least when I wasn’t pissed at her and avoiding her. When that happened I always made sure that she got to the cafeteria before me and was seated before I came in, got my food, spotted where she was sitting and then went to the opposite side of the room. She looked at Kim and me and then turned and found a seat where she could watch us. She kept her eyes on Kim and me the entire lunch period and I wondered what she as thinking.

Amber and I shared a three o’clock class and she was waiting for me just outside of the classroom when the class let out.

“Why didn’t you pick me up this morning? You didn’t show and the bus was already gone and I had to get my mom to drive me and it caused me to be late for my first class. And why didn’t you wait for me on Friday?”

“Because I didn’t want to. I’ve decided not to waste any more time on you.”

“What are you saying?”

“Just that. I’m not going to waste any more time on you. You are obviously not as into me as much as I was into you so I’m not going to fight it any more. Look on the bright side; from now on you can just go ahead and date anyone you like without worrying about me.”

I looked at my watch and said “Got to run. I’m supposed to meet someone” and I took off and left her standing there.

Kim was waiting at the truck when I got there and as we pulled out of the lot she said “I saw you talking to Amber after Calculus.”

“I pretty much let her know she is history as far as I’m concerned.”

“How did she take it?”

“Don’t know. I dumped it on her and left.”

“Dare I hope that means I’ll see more of you?”

“If you want to.”

“I do. I do indeed.”

“We already have a date for Friday right?”

“I know, but there are four other nights between now and Friday.”

“I know, but I need to study. I need to keep my grades up if I want to get scholarships to college.”

“So we can spend time studying together.”

So that is what we did. We did neck a little during the study sessions and the fourth study session turned into a half study session and a full make out session.

Even though Amber tried to get to me at school I ignored her. She couldn’t get to me after school because Kim was always waiting for me by my truck and I guess Amber didn’t want an audience when she got to me.

Unfortunately I could not duck her when she caught me at home. She rang the doorbell at nine on Saturday morning and my mom answered the door and invited Amber in. I was outside on the patio drinking coffee and studying when mom let Amber out onto the patio and then left us alone. He sat down opposite me and asked:

“Why are you avoiding me?”

“I’ve put you behind me and I don’t understand why it bothers you. It frees you up to date to your hearts content.”

“I explained all that to you.”

“Yes you did and I believed you right up to when I found out about you and Holbrook.”

“Found out what?”

“That he was your steady date while I was away. My sources, and yes I have more than one (I lied) who have told me that both of the last couple of summers I was gone you and Holbrook were a steady couple and no one had ever seen you date another guy. Just Holbrook. Where was your mother’s “You can’t go steady” then? And that’s only the first thing. The second thing was the talk we had when I got home this summer where you told me you still weren’t ready to go steady. Remember that talk? Where you agreed to my condition that you give me plenty advance notice if you were going to date someone else? How long did that last? In case you have forgotten I’ll tell you. It lasted two weeks. I’d made plans for Saturday and on Friday I told you what they were and you told me sorry, but you already had a date for Saturday. That ended our relationship. I knew then I could never count on you so I’ve put you behind me and I’ve moved on.”

“That’s not fair.”

“It is to me. I repeat; I cannot count on you so I’m not wasting any more time on you. Now you need to leave. I have to study for the pop quiz that I know Gilman is going to hit us with on Monday.”

She had tears running down her cheeks as she got up and sobbed out “You’re mine Bobby and I’m not letting you go.”

“Yeah; right” I thought as she left.

For the next two months Kim and I kept steady company and then, at the end of one Friday night date, Kim told me she couldn’t see me anymore. She said it was time for her to find out what other guys might be like. She went to kiss me goodnight, but I pushed her away.

As I drove home I was asking myself what the fuck was it with girls. Always wanting to try other guys. Why the hell should guys waste time trying to get into a relationship with one if all that was going to happen was he was going to get kicked to the curb so she could see what other guys were like? To hell with it! From now on I would date, but wouldn’t get into any kind of relationship.

That’s how I spent the rest of that year. I would date a girl a couple of times and then date another once or twice and move on. The only constant during that period was Amber was always trying to get back with me. I was always cordial with her, but I never dated her.

Then summer came and Uncle Brady asked me if I was going to work for him over the summer and I think I surprised him when I said yes. I guess he thought that since I was old enough to drive and had a truck I’d spend the summer chasing girls. I’d been tempted to do just that, but I had come to the realization over the past year that it costs money to run that truck. I’d make enough working the farm that summer to get me through the next year.