Chapter 35

Landon spent a restless night. As much as she tried to think ahead, the onslaught of the all-too-painful memories last night lingered.

He worried about what had brought them about. The kiss? His growing attachment to Grace? Guilt? He needed to talk to Dr. Michaels on his next visit to the center about all this. Was he ready for a romantic relationship? Would it set him back or forward?

At first light, he gave up on sleep and brewed a pot of coffee. He filled a thermos, opened the door for Scout, and started up the path to the lookout on the mountain.

Once there, he sat on the rock overlooking the town and watched as the sun filtered through scattered clouds and painted streaks of gold across the lake. He continued to watch as cars started to move through the streets.

Landon tried to pinpoint Grace’s house from there, but he wasn’t sure he found the right one.

He took a deep swallow of coffee. It was strong, the way they drank it in the army. He rested against the rock, listened to the birds trilling their morning song, and put his hand on Scout’s thick fur. He looked up and gave him a big dog smile.

The leftover tension from last night’s flashback gradually faded away as the sun burned off the early-morning dew and a fresh breeze stirred the tall pines. Darn if he wasn’t falling in love with this place. And that wasn’t a good thing.

He took a deep breath. He had to start thinking about the future, something he had refused to do before coming to Middletown. He hadn’t wanted to think about a life without the army. Middletown was a temporary refuge. The fact that he liked it more each day didn’t change that.

He had to get a more permanent job and decide what to do about his mother and his younger sister.

Scout whined next to him. He didn’t know how he could have survived without him.

Activity increased in the town below.

Middletown was a piece of heaven. So different from the violence thousands of miles away. He tried to push the memories away, but they kept returning. The faces of his team danced in front of his eyes. All dead now.

He was alive. And he felt so lucky and so guilty at the same time.

Every time he reminisced about last night, his body ached for something that went beyond a kiss. He had felt alive, really alive, for the first time in months, and that felt like a betrayal to those who died.

Scout uttered a low rumbling noise.

“I know ... I know...

“Tell me this, what should I do about Grace?”

The dog wagged his tail. “You’re not being very helpful.”

He wasn’t sure he could love her as she deserved.

“Middletown history,” Landon said in a vain attempt to take Grace off his mind. He tried to focus on the play. He worked some dialogues in his mind on the way back to the cabin.

Once he got there, he made breakfast, toast, eggs, and coffee, then he jotted down the notes he had taken from the journal entries. He tried to work on the timeline but his mind was not being cooperative. It kept skipping from the Fergus Carter to Grace.

She snuck into his mind like a thief, stealing all the common sense and reservations he had. His heart warmed every time he thought of her, and yet there was caution, as well. He kept telling himself everything was happening too fast.

He stood up and stretched. The kitchen clock showed it was a little after 2:00 p.m.

His phone rang. His heart raced as he saw Grace’s name pop up.

“Hello, Grace,” he greeted her.

“Hi, Landon, how is your day going so far?”

“I did well today. I went up the mountain path this morning, then updated Middletown history with the new data from the journals. The timeline is almost complete. I’ll need the folder that Marcus gave me back as soon as you can.”

He kept his voice friendly but business like. As if last night hadn’t happened.

“I’ll bring it back to you as soon as I can. The play committee is meeting in an hour.”

There was a silence, and she wondered whether he was going to comment about last night or not.

“What time?”

“Seven.”

Another silence. He wanted to see her. He wanted to be with her. He wanted to explore those feelings that aroused him.

“Landon, are you still there?”

“I’m here,” he said. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

“I’m a coward,” he said to himself.

With a sigh, he turned back to work.