Jokes and Giggles Part Three
Copyright© 2021 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 9
Old-Grey-Duck commenting on his neighbors
I was out running errands this morning and was waiting at a stop light.
A man pulls up alongside me in the next lane, on a motorcycle. He stops, and suddenly falls over onto his side, motorcycle included.
Concerned, I get out of my car to help him up. I asked what happened.
“I don’t know,” he replied. “It keeps doing this, ever since I took the sidecar off.”
Smokeyjoe and His Old Age Pick up Lines, he didn’t mention if they worked.
How about I take you home and show you my medicine cabinet!
My arteries aren’t the only things that have hardened.
Do you know how strong an artificial hip is? (No) me neither but enough to break the ice. My name is...
I would sink my teeth into dat booty but they might just stay there.
How about I take you back to my place where we can get into a heated argument about social security.
My teeth and I no longer sleep together, but you and I definitely should.
Getting lucky usually means finding my car in the parking lot, but tonight you can change that.
How would you like to help me feel like a kid again.
I might be a retired photographer, but I can still picture us together.
If I had to choose between breathing and loving you ... I’d take my last breath to say “I Love You”
Are you a cat lady? Well, I’m the cat whisperer cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.
Girl I’d fake being a blind old man, just to touch you inappropriately.
You must be a garden; cause I’m digging you.
After I retired, I have spent a lot of time gardening, but now all I can think about is putting your tulips and my tulips (two-lips) together.
Is your name Viagra, cause I don’t think they will be able to close my casket after a night with you.
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