Chapter 85

tavern_knight had to get this out in public!!!

I figured out how the new covid variant “Monkey Pox” came from...

From individuals doing hot monkey sex...

Smokeyjoe34 gives us a story from the past in U.K.

This is a true story. Showing the gullibility and stupidity of some people.

In the U.K. back in 1960 a soapie called Coronation Street started on the television, a mythical street in the city of Manchester, it’s still going by the way.

In this show there where 3 old ladies who used to gas bag (gossip as to who was doing what to who, how and when) in the local pub.

Also, before we left England to come to Australia my father was an funeral director, we lived in a town called Warrington which was approximately half way between Liverpool and Manchester.

Occasionally he would have to perform a burial at the Manchester Cemetery.

Well to get to the point of this tale, in 1964 one of the old ladies, Martha Longhurst played by actress Lynne Carol, wanted to leave to show permanently, so it was decided to kill her off by having her have a heart attack.

The show’s producer decided to have a fake funeral at the Manchester Cemetery, (the cemetery wasn’t going to be featured by the way, everything being set up in the studio), well my father needed to arrange the paperwork for a burial and drove to the Cemetery on the day, only to be stopped by a local Mr. Plod (policeman) saying that the main cemetery entrance on the road ahead was blocked by ‘people wanting to see Martha’s cortège’.

When my father told the cop who he was and he needed to get in to make arrangements, he was told to go around the back to the exit gate and go in that way.

It really shows just how much brain power some people have, eh!

jus-dafax come to the rescue:

You said you needed some new jokes for your post. Here are some new / old ones that may or may not be suitable.

I just ordered a Med-Alert bracelet. That way if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

A scientific study showed that cows give more milk when the farmer talks to them. It’s a case of in one ear and out the udder.

I’m exaustipated. That means I’m just too tired to give a shit.

Teacher - How old is your father?

Billy - He’s just over 6 years old.

Teacher - How can that possibly be?

Billy - Well, before I was born, he was just a husband, and I was born 6 years ago.

Summer is not officially over until September 22, so sit your pumpkin spice loving ass down and wait until I’ve finished my marguerita.