Chapter 82

Here is a couple of thoughts from Alphqwe

Yesterday I gave up my seat on the bus to a blind woman. That’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.

Sometimes the best things in life cannot be seen or touched.

At least that is what the restraining order says.

The waitress can up to the family of three and said “I want to let you know that it’s the owners birthday and all children eat free.” “Oh really?” the father said. “I’ll just have a water and my eleven year old daughter will have a T-bone steak cooked medium rare and a Bud lite.”

Many thanks to jus-dafax

Ethel was a bit of a speed demon in her mobility scooter and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors.

Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic basket, the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in the fun.

One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened, and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. ‘STOP!,’ he shouted in a firm voice. ‘Have you got a license for that thing?’

Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him.

‘OK’ he said and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted, ‘STOP! Have you proof of insurance?’

Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said, ‘On your way, Ma’am.’

As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, butt-naked, and holding his ‘You-Know-What’ in his hand.

‘Oh, good grief,’ yelled Ethel, ‘Not that damn Breathalyzer Test again.!!!’