Chapter 74

Alphqwe provided a couple more, again many thanks!!!

A great looking blond woman went to a store selling curtains and asked to see some pink ones.

After a great deal of time she picked a lovely multi-hewed pink with dark pink flowers pattern.

“An excellent choice.” said the salesman, “And what length would you need it?”

“My computer monitor is 24 inches” she replied “So that’s the length I’ll need.”

“But miss computers don’t need curtains!”

“Mine has windows.” she responded.

Mr. Piper went to his doctor very worried about his penis having some how shrunken and changed its color.

After a series of tests the doctor told him that his wife’s use of a vinegar based douche meant that he now had a pickled pecker.

The secret to making a wife go mmmmmmmmmm all night long is ... duck tape.

Old-Grey-Duck is at it again, here is two more, many thanks:

A man goes to the movies and is surprised to see a woman in the row in front of him sitting next to a German Shepherd. Throughout the movie, the dog laughs at all the funny parts, along with the rest of the audience.

As the credits roll at the end of the movie, the man says to the woman: “Wow! This might sound strange, but I think your dog really enjoyed the movie!”

The woman smiles and answers: “I know! He hated the book!”

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, and enticing Poodle.

The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.

The males are speechless before the hottie, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.

Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, “The first one who can use the words “liver” and “cheese” together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.”

The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says “I love liver and cheese.”

“Oh, how childish,” said the Poodle, “That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.”

She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said “How well can you do?”

“Ummmm ... I HATE liver and cheese,” blurts the Golden Retriever.

“My, my,” said the Poodle, “I guess it’s hopeless. That’s just as dumb as the Lab’s sentence.”

She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, “How about you, little guy?”

The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the chihuahua.

He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says,

“Liver alone, cheese mine.”