Chapter 63

HarryCarton offers some continuing education!!!!!

Science Joke:

A photon checks into a hotel.

The bellhop offers to take his luggage up to the room

“Oh,” says the photon, “I don’t have any. I’m travelling light.”

Thanks to Tucson for the following!!

Seymour Shapiro, 85, goes for his half year checkup.

His doctor says, “So, Seymour, how have you been feeling?”

“Never better, doctor! You know after my Becky died; I was lonely! Not anymore!! I met a beautiful 25 year old shiksa, who happens to love me for myself, not my money! We got married, and guess what!? She’s expecting my baby!! Now what do you think of that?”

The doctor leans back in his chair, tents his fingers together, pondering the question.

Then the doctor says, “Let me tell you a little story, Seymour. I have a friend, pretty much about your age, who loves hunting, in fact, he never misses a season.

One fall day, he sets off to go hunting. Trudging through the woods, he sees a huge male beaver by a lake. He goes to pick up his gun, and realizes that he brought his cane by accident, instead.

Well, he’s so disappointed, but he decides, just for the hell of it, to lift his cane, aim it at the animal, as if it were his rifle, and goes, ‘bang bang’!

Much to his surprise, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead!

What do you think of that?”

“Well,” says Seymour, “Logic would strongly suggest that someone else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.”

“My point exactly.”, says the doctor.

This one if from johnew1953

Here’s another one you may like...

I’m not going to say who ... but a friend called me earlier and asked if I would loan her $1300 to help pay her rent. Those who know me, know that I’m always willing to help out friends & family. I told her to give me some time to think about it and I would call her back. Before I called her back, her brother called to let me know that she was lying and not to give her the money!!

He went on to say that the real reason she wanted the $1300 was to get her boyfriend out of jail so she could be under the same roof as him for his birthday 🤨

I thought about it for a minute and decided to give her the money because we all need help at times.

A couple of hours later I get a call from the police station. It was her - crying, screaming and asking why I gave her counterfeit money 😮

My response ... so, you and your boyfriend could be under the same roof for his birthday!😉