Chapter 60

I used to be able to do cartwheels. Now I tip over putting on my underwear.

I hate it when I see an old person and then realize we went to high school together.

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes ... so she hugged me.

My wife says I only have 2 faults. I don’t listen and something else...

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next.

I thought growing old would take longer.

I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing. Retraced my steps, got lost on the way back, now I have no idea what’s going on.

The officer said, “You drinking?” I said, “You buying?” We just laughed and laughed ... I need bail money.