Chapter 41

A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam.

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. “Breast-fed”, she replied.

“Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor ordered.

She did. The doctor then pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, “No wonder this baby is underweight. You don’t have any milk.”

“I know,” she said, “I’m his Grandma.”

“But I’m glad I came.”

Aldo has important info to share:

My physician was worried about exercise, so I bought a smart watch to track it.

At 3000 steps it warns me: “Whoa man, this is way over top, take it easy now, for a few days at least.”

Modern technology is wonderful.

Aldo referencing Shakespeare (whom I personally hated) For those who have incontinence problems The Great Bard offers consolation:

To pee, or not to pee: that is the question: Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them?

Sea of troubles, indeed. Just imagine Hamlet, with crossed legs, and instead of the scull, a chamber pot.

Here is some more of his comments. Enjoy

Researchers try to make computers feel more human, maybe even show something like emotions. Apple is further down the road than most.

As an Apple user I get to enjoy it. Sometimes it does what I ask, sometimes it doesn’t.

“Not today dear, I have a headache.”

As an Apple user of more than two decades I have established ‘a rule of bugs.’

If I don’t report a bug, there is a very small chance it gets fixed.

If I report it there is absolutely no chance at all.

Macintosh is a creative tool for creative professionals, and it has an intuitive user interface.

If you don’t intuit it’s way, your way is the wrong way. It is therefore justified and proper to make the wrong way as difficult as possible. Nyah, nyah.

This is ‘divine guidance.’

Creative people stress out very easily. MacOS helps by making the user do small and repetitive tasks, that way the user can achieve the Zen state.

MacOS also helps by giving lots of small things to worry about, so the users can forget their biggest problems.