Jokes and Giggles Part Three
Copyright© 2021 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 34
OldGreyDuck is at it again!!!
A small tavern boasted about having the strongest bartender in the state. The bartender was known to take a lemon and crush it in his massive hand, squeezing every drop of juice from the rind. The tavern had a long standing bet, that if anyone could squeeze an additional drop of juice from the crushed lemon, that person would win $1000. Many tried, and everyone failed. One day, a skinny man wearing an ill fitting suit came in and said that he wanted to try. The tavern patrons roared with laughter as the bartender crushed the lemon, and then handed it to the man. To everyone’s astonishment, the scrawny man easily squeezed several more drops of juice out of the lemon. As the bartender was paying the man, he asked; “How did you do that?” The man smiled and replied; “I work for the IRS.”
My wife laughed at me when I was sucking in my stomach while standing on the scale. “That won’t help! she said. “It does!” I replied. “This is the only way I can see the numbers!”
jus-dafax provided more grins and giggles.
A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift.
The surgeon told her about a new procedure called “The KEY”, where a small key is placed on the back of a woman’s head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift.
Of course, the woman wanted “The Key”.
Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the key, and the effects were wonderful -- the woman remained young looking and vibrant.
After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems.
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