Chapter 133

A comment from Earl_John13

As my dog, still in possession of his, said to me the other day:

“What kind of friend takes your testes.”

This proves that tavern_knight’s mind has been the gutter a long time.

On one of the trips to my Dad’s home town ages ago, I memorized a poem from Uncle Hank’s paperback book “Jokes in the Can.”

“Here’s to the breezes that flow through the trees,
That lift little girls’ dresses above their knees,
Little boy sees, does what he pleases’ and gets social diseases,
Now how about that.”

Thank Smokeaknz for this one:

It was entertainment night at the Officer’s Mess.

After the community sing-song led by Alice at the piano it was time for the Star of the Show - Claude the Hypnotist!

Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance.

“Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time.” said Claude.

The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claude carefully withdrew from his waistcoat pocket a beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain.

“I want you to keep your eyes on this watch” said Claude, holding the watch high for all to see.

“It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for six generations” said Claude.

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting “Watch the watch --- Watch the watch ----Watch the watch”

The audience became mesmerised as the watch swayed back and forth.

The lights twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming surfaces.

A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently swaying watch.

And then, suddenly, the chain broke!!!

The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact.

“SHIT” said Claude.

It took them three days to clean the Officer’s Mess and Claude was never invited to entertain again!