Chapter 116

From lotwp9120, Here’s some more for you.

Years ago, my uncle was run over by reindeer on Christmas Eve. He died of natural Causes.

A pastor friend of mine became very full of himself when he got behind the lectern. He had quite the “altar ego.”

A recent poll of women reveals that the number one reason for divorce is men.

I decided to buy a six-pack of this new non-alcoholic beer, but the cashier demanded to see some fake ID.

According to the US Census Bureau, the average is thirty-three years old. Well, at least I am above average at something.

I saw an ad for a special umbrella, but only at precipitating dealers.

I asked for a doggy bag at a local restaurant the other night. When I got home, I found a Chihuahua in there!

I went to the library and asked to see their self-help books. The librarian pointed me to the section and said, “Help yourself!”

They say that the dollar buys more in Europe these days. The trouble is our grocery stores are here in the USA.

I saw an interesting tombstone the other day. It read “Hard work got me where I am today.”

I honor my debts. Every few months I award a trophy to the one that’s been around the longest.

Right now, I find that the stores give me Santa Claustrophobia.

It’s so cold that the only thing girls in miniskirts are showing a lot of are goosebumps.

Last week a friend invited me to a seven-course meal. It turned out to be a hamburger and a six-pack.

It wasn’t too many years ago when the only time asked, “Is it a boy or a girl?” was at the hospital.

I saw a young girl the other day that had on an outfit that was so tight it affected her breathing – and mine, too!

Frustration is when a girl puts on her bra backwards ... and it fits!

Last year, our Christmas tree suffered from curvature of the pine.