Chapter 104

From reporter Irvmull

In the news:

The inventor of autocorrect died today. The funnel will be held tomato.

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Analogies used by high school students in their essays:

“When she tried to sing, it sounded like a walrus giving birth to farm equipment.”

“Her eyes twinkled, like the moustache of a man with a cold.”

“She was like a magnet: attractive from the back, repulsive from the front.”

“The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.”

“She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef.”

“She had him like a toenail stuck in a shag carpet.”

“The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.”