I think it happened some time around my twelfth birthday, when I was taking a bath and discovered that it felt good to wash my penis. The more I washed the better it felt until one day it felt fantastic, though that feeling was composed of a sudden, exquisite pain, followed by a sense relief that made my mind spin. I found that I could also do it in bed any time I wanted, but the liquid that came out of my penis required I keep an old sock on hand.

I also started to notice girls, including my sister Emma. Either she changed, or my outlook changed, but she was suddenly sexy and gorgeous and I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. At 14 her body was causing stirrings in my groin. When I’d see her moving from the shower to her room wrapped in a too-small towel I would spy her pubic area. I also noticed that when she wore a pull-over shirt I could catch a glimpse of her breasts when she bent over just right. To fuel my masturbation sessions I at first imagined the pictures in Playboy as being of women who would let me touch them and kiss them. After a while, I thought about the woman who actually lived in the house with me, instead of some two-dimensional imaginary lover.

Emma was a cheerleader and always kept her body in tip top shape. She had curves in all the right places. Her legs looked far better than anything in the magazines and I do mean anything. She was so close and yet so far. We were closer than most siblings and shared secrets between us. If we ever fought I don’t remember it and we constantly looked out after each other. When either she or I had chores around the house the other one would happily lend a hand, if asked, but I was sure she wouldn’t be interested in fooling around with her brother.

When she was fifteen and allowed to go on dates Emma was pretty active in the dating arena and never seemed to lack for male companionship. She went on dates almost every weekend night with guys who treated her like a queen. I, on the other hand, was terrified of saying something stupid or doing something stupid if I was alone with a girl. I could talk to girls, and Emma’s friends talked to me all the time. But that was different than being alone with a girl and having to come up with something to say the whole time. Oddly, this eventually got me a reputation, first with her friends, and then with other girls, as a “safe” guy to flirt with. I was Emma’s “safe” brother.

What happened then was that girls would come find me while they were over at our house on a sleepover. They would use me like a crash test dummy. My first kiss was from a girl named Megan. The first time a girl saw my dick or touched it was during one of Emma’s sleepovers. Nothing crazy happened, and most of what they wanted was for me to touch them this way or that way, but just for a short time. It was all just to find out what things felt like. I never got any blow jobs or hand jobs or anything like that, but I got to cop a ton of feels and the girls would run their hands over a real dick, even if it was one that was confined in a pair of pants.

It took me a year to figure out that Emma was the one orchestrating all this. The girls would talk about stuff and Emma would say, “Go try it with Bobby. He won’t do anything unless you tell him to and he’ll never tell anybody.”

Emma herself was kind of touchy feely with me but I didn’t think much of it beyond normal sibling interaction. She would touch my arm to emphasize a point we were discussing. Sometimes when she got excited about something I did for her she would give me a hug pressing her glorious, lush breasts against my chest giving me an immediate hard on. When she would notice it pressing against her mons she never pulled away and sometimes gave me a sly smile. She had to know I had a boner ... but she never gave any indication that it bothered her.

One Saturday evening (she was sixteen and I was fifteen) we were both at home watching a movie on TV. Our parents were gone somewhere. I don’t even remember where. The best view of the TV set was by sitting on the couch. We started out with a respectful separation between us. I wasn’t sure but it seemed like every time she got up to do or get something she would return and sit a little closer to me. Before long she was right up against me with her bare leg touching mine. She made little movements with her leg that seemed more like a caress than a casual position change.

Then she got up to go make popcorn, when she came back she sat and leaned against me so we could both reach the snack. I did the natural thing and put my arm around her shoulders. When I did that she leaned her head over and rested it on my shoulder. I detected a sigh of contentment. What really blew my mind was when she raised her head slightly and gave me a kiss on my neck, and said, “I’m so glad you’re my brother.” I didn’t know what to make of it since there had not been any overt affection between us before that. When she kissed me I tightened my hold on her and gave her a little sideways hug. The next thing that got me even more excited was when she let her hand rest on my bare thigh. As if that wasn’t enough to get me all mixed up she started a gentle caressing with her fingertips, moving her hand higher as time went by.

At one point I glanced over and the front of her shirt was gaping, so I looked.

She didn’t have on a bra! I could see the nipple of her left breast!

Her head turned and my eyes rose to meet hers. I was busted. She’d just caught me looking down her shirt.

“You looking at my boobs, Bobby?” she asked.

“I didn’t mean to,” I whispered.

“You mean like you don’t mean to every time you try and see down my shirts?” She sighed. “I know you try to see my boobs, Bobby.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why? The reason I felt pretty the first time in my life was because you made me feel that way.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. So, why do you try to see them all the time?”

“Because they’re so fricking gorgeous,” I sighed.

She leaned forward to put the popcorn on the coffee table. When she sat back, it was kind of sideways, facing me.

“You want to see them without anything covering them?”

I just blinked at her, frozen. This couldn’t be happening.

“You can’t tell anybody,” she warned.

I shook my head so hard I was afraid it would fall off.

Then she just took her shirt off, right there in front of me.

Bam! Instant boner.

It was instinct to reach and touch one. I was doing it before I even thought about it. The first thought I had, in fact, was wondering why she wasn’t slapping my hand away. Then I felt warm, soft breast in my hand, and then I felt her hand on my lap, finding my boner and squeezing it.

“I knew you’d be hard,” she whispered.

Then she kissed me.

On the lips, not the neck.

“My friends always get to do things with you,” she said. She was still topless and her hand was still on my swollen dick, outside my pants. “I never get to do anything with anybody.”

“But you go on all those dates,” I said.

“I can’t do anything with them,” she said. “They’d tell all their friends and their friends would tell everybody else. And they would try to get me to go too far. No, I can’t do anything except kiss them on dates. I get so horny, Bobby!”

“I know how that feels,” I said.

“I hear you through the wall,” she said. “You’re in there pounding your pud and all I can think about is how Suzy Watkins described it when she played with it.”

“She told you about that?” I gasped.

“They all come back and tell everybody else what it was like. That’s the whole purpose of going to see you.”

“I never knew.”

“That’s one reason they all kept going to you. You were so sweet, and so clueless.”

“So why are you telling me this now?” I asked. “Why are we here like this, now?”

“Because I want my turn,” she said.

I did the same thing I did with all her friends. I just sat there, waiting for her to tell me what she wanted.

What she wanted was to find out what it was like to take a shower with a boy. Emma never did anything by halves and she’d thought about this for a long time.