Chapter 3: Literature Quiz

Monday, September 4, 2017. 9am. The auditorium at the Millennium High student theater was filled to bursting point. Not only were all the students in their seats (with the exception of Rebecca, Alison, Peter and Eloise), so were all the teachers (with the exception of Mr. Warner, who had been suspended pending a hearing by the District School Board relating to engaging in sex acts with a pupil, Rebecca). The anticipation in the air was palpable: everybody knew that Rebecca was going to be punished and, as they said in North Dakota, punished ‘good’, and most pupils, certainly most male pupils, couldn’t wait. On top of that, it was generally thought that Alison and Eloise (both very good looking), who had been called to see Mr. Barton on Friday afternoon and had featured on the ‘Discipline Roster’ as having earned 15 demerits, would also be punished.

“Welcome, staff and pupils, to our first ‘regular’ Punishment Assembly. I know you are all in suspense, so I will reveal that two pupils will undergo corporal punishment this morning. One of them is Rebecca Ward, who was caught performing a sex act on another person on school premises. She has received 50 demerits and will pay the price later this morning. The other will be determined now. Will Alison Cooper, Peter Shaw and Eloise Brown please join us?”

The three walked on the stage silently and sullenly. Carl, the only school security guard who seemed to have a name, pushed a ‘wheel of fortune’ onto the stage. It had six fields, labelled: ‘underpants/panties’, ‘undershirt/bra’, ‘socks/tights’, ‘shirt’, ‘pants/skirt’ and ‘socks/tights’.

“Right, this is how it’s going to work. You will each be asked questions from your current syllabuses. A wrong answer will mean that Carl will spin the ‘clothes wheel’. You will then remove the item of clothing indicated. If the wheel indicates an item of clothing that has already been taken off, it will be spun one more time. If it still does not indicate an item that the student is still wearing, the audience gets to decide what will be taken off. The engineering class have provided us with a ‘clapometer’ designed for this very purpose, among others.

Whoever is entirely naked first will receive twenty cane strokes on their bottom, one for each demerit. All three of you will have your demerits wiped after this assembly. I will now hand over to Miss Green, Head of the English Department.”

“The first question goes to Miss Cooper. In Romeo and Juliet, what is Juliet’s surname?”

“Capulet”. That had been easy.

“Mr. Shaw. What does Juliet mean when, in the balcony scene, she says ‘A rose by any other name would smell as sweet?’”

Peter thought hard. “That roses smell good?”

“That is a wrong answer, I’m afraid. Carl, over to you.”

Carl spun the wheel. It seemed as if it would land on ‘underpants’, but then moved one more field to ‘socks’. Peter breathed a sigh of relief, took of his socks and placed them in front of himself.

“Miss Brown. How many Acts are there in Romeo and Juliet?”

“Uhm, four?”

“Wrong as well, I’m afraid. Carl?”

This time the wheel landed on ‘panties’, to the great delight of all the male students. At first shocked, Eloise then realized that there was no real problem – she simply took off her tights, slid the panties off under her skirt, put the tights back on - nobody had seen anything. Phew!

“Miss Cooper! Same question for you – how many Acts?”

“Five, like most classical plays.”

“Correct, well done. Mr. Shaw. Are Romeo and Tybalt related?”

“Yes, they are cousins, right?”

“Wrong. Carl, spin the wheel!”

The wheel landed on ‘shirt’, so Peter took his top off, leaving him wearing pants and a ribbed undershirt.

“Miss Brown. What is Tybalt’s relationship to Juliet’s father?”

“Is he his cousin?” Eloise knew that Tybalt was Juliet’s cousin, but she was too nervous to work out that this made him her father’s nephew. The wheel spun again, and landed on ‘panties’.

So Carl spun the wheel again, and this time it landed on ‘socks/tights’. Again, Eloise breathed a sigh of relief – she took off her tights, her skirt covering everything. Ok, everyone knew she was now going ‘commando’, but what did she care?

“Miss Cooper, the next question is for you. Slightly more difficult. In what Act of Romeo and Juliet does the famous ‘balcony scene’ take place?”

“Act 1, Scene 5?”

“Wrong, I’m afraid. Spin the wheel!” The wheel spun furiously – it seemed for a second that it was going to land on ‘socks’, but it then moved one more field, landing on ‘bra’. The auditorium went wild.

Alison realized that she could manage to take her bra off underneath her blouse – the boys in the crowd had not realized this, so they reacted with boos when she fumbled around inside her blouse and then pulled out her bra, grinning broadly.

“The same question to you, Mr. Shaw.”

“Uhm, Act 1, Scene 4?”

“Wrong again, the wheel, Carl.” Carl spun the wheel, it landed on ‘socks’. Carl accordingly spun the wheel again, and it landed on ‘shirt’ – again, not an item of clothing Peter still had on!