Chapter 39: The Other Shoe

November 18, 1986, McKinley, Ohio

"Kitten," I soothed, "it's OK."

I stroked her hair, kissed her forehead, and let her cry.

"But I wanted to be pregnant!" she sobbed. "It's not fair!"

I waited a couple of minutes to let her cry it out before I responded.

"How is it not fair?" I asked, hoping I wasn't walking into a minefield.

"Anna got pregnant on her honeymoon! And so did Tasha!"

And the true source of the problem was revealed — what amounted to competition, and, at least in Elizaveta's mind, she had 'lost'.

"That doesn't make you any less of a woman than Anna or Tasha, nor make me any less of a man than your brother or Nik."

"Don't compare yourself to that «мудак» (mudak), ever!" she growled through her tears. ("asshole")

"You must be upset, Kitten," I teased lightly. "You're swearing in Russian."

She looked up, her eyes puffy and red.

"Do you still love me?" she asked.

"Of course I do! We discussed that it often takes a few months, and that's especially true if you were on the Pill."

"But we waited a month!"

"Yes, and you were on the Pill for more than a year, Kitten. Your body is just now back to its regular cycle. Let's give it some time."

"But I wanted to be pregnant now!"

"I know," I soothed.

"We'll just have to double our efforts!" she declared fiercely.

I chuckled, "There are physical limits, Kitten!"

"I still say it's not fair that Tasha and Anna got pregnant on their honeymoons!"

"You didn't want to get pregnant then," I countered.

"That's not what I mean, and you know it!"

"Sorry. May I make love to my wife?"

"It'll be messy."

"I don't care," I said, scooping her in my arms.

"Put one of the old towels on the bed," Elizaveta said, her voice full of anticipation.

It was messy, but the towel protected the sheets, and we showered together afterwards. Dinner, fortunately, wasn't ruined, as the vegetable soup had been simmering when I'd arrived home, and the fresh bread had been taken from the oven. Despite being upset, Elizaveta had still made our fasting-acceptable meal, now that we were in the Nativity Fast. We ate quickly so that we could finish before my study group arrived.

After study group, Elizaveta and I went to bed, with her wearing panties with a pad so as not to make a mess. She snuggled close.

"I'm sorry I was so upset earlier," she said.

"It's OK, Kitten. I totally understand. You expected to be pregnant and were disappointed that it didn't happen. May I offer some advice?"

"Yes."

"Don't stress about it. If you do, it'll cause hormonal changes that make it more difficult to get pregnant."

"Really?"

"Really. Think about it from a survival perspective — if a woman is under stress, it's not good for a baby, so it's better to not get pregnant. Just keep doing what you're doing — eating right, exercising, and taking your vitamins and supplements."

"And you keep doing what YOU are doing, fucking me three times a day, minimum!"

"Yes, Kitten. I promise to make love to you multiple times every day."

"I love you, Mike."

"I love you, too, Kitten."

November 19, 1986, McKinley, Ohio

"Lizochka looked very unhappy last night," Clarissa observed when we met in the parking lot on Wednesday morning.

"She was upset that she had her period."

"Usually, it's missing a period when you don't expect it that upsets girls!"

"Especially teenage girls! But also having one when you expect to miss it, AND your friend Tasha and your sister-in-law Anna both get pregnant on their honeymoons, it's a bit much for a seventeen-year-old High School Senior to take."

"Most girls don't 'catch' the first time, for which innumerable teenage girls are very thankful!"

"Having unprotected heterosexual sex makes zero sense unless you plan to get pregnant!"

"No kidding! But not every guy is you, Petrovich! And I'll wager that had fourteen-year-old Tasha made herself available to seventeen-year-old Mike, any thoughts about birth control would never have overcome the sheer lust!"

"Perhaps."

"I take it your pussy cat was just overly emotional? No actual problems?"

"No actual problems. I'm chalking it up to either only having one period since she went off the Pill or just biology. You know the stats — a twenty-five percent chance to get pregnant in any given month assuming regular sex; better than eighty-five percent over the course of a year. And while the suggestion is to wait a month to try to conceive after stopping the Pill, it can take two to three months for hormones to return to normal."

"I take it you discussed that with Elizaveta beforehand?"

"Yes, but logic and teenage girls have only a nodding acquaintance at best!"

"Because you were any better?"

"I was completely logical," I said. "My problem was cluelessness about many things, including women!"

"Which didn't stop you from being intimate with them and collecting more than a dozen cherries!"

"Perhaps."

"Is that going to be your answer to everything?"

"Perhaps," I grinned.

"Did you get to observe another surgery?"

"Triple bypass. Unfortunately for me, there is nothing scheduled for next week at all so far."

"Wait until after Thanksgiving! There will be plenty of clogged arteries!"

"And you know it doesn't happen that fast! Though holidays do have more heart attacks due to stress, especially Christmas."

"Speaking of that, what did you decide to do?"

"Go to my grandfather's house. Between you and me, and not to be repeated, my decision was simple because my grandmother invited us to attend, and my mother-in-law ordered us to attend."

"You married a Russian girl with a Russian mother, so you only have yourself to blame for that!"

"She neither bothers nor scares me, though she still gets under Elizaveta's skin."

"I thought all Orthodox men were afraid of all Orthodox women, and clergy were especially afraid!"

"There's a special exception for mothers-in-law!"

"You would think Yulia would have learned by now. She'd do much better trying to be nice to you and build a relationship."

"Something my wife would NOT appreciate. And right now, I'm not going to do anything to cause any stress. You know the negative effects of that on conception."

"I've learned all kinds of things I would never have imagined!"

"Same here. I think the one that's going to be the real eye-opener is the OB/GYN Clerkship."

"Poking around female parts other than your wife's?"

"Just everything involved with delivering babies, gynecological care, and so on. I won't have much call for that in emergency medicine or surgery."

"Or surgery?!" Clarissa asked. "You're actually considering it?"

"I have to make it a real possibility, given the commitment I made to Doctor Roth. But given the way things are going, Doctor Gibbs and Doctor Roth will both get what they want — I'll have a combined general surgery and emergency medicine specialty they're calling 'trauma surgery', which means I can be on the surgical service and cover the ER, or on the ER service and do surgery on emergent patients. Win-win. It's a copy of the program at Indiana University that Doctor Barton was running. I actually had a letter from him last week — he's at the University of Chicago now, as head of Emergency Medicine. He wants me to apply for Residency there."

"He's really determined to get you!"

"Yes, but he can't offer me what Moore Memorial Hospital can — living in this area. I have zero interest in living in Chicago."

"Which means you can't list them, except possibly way down your list."

"It doesn't make sense for me to apply anywhere except in the Cincinnati, Dayton, or Columbus areas. Well, besides here, of course."

"I had a good talk with Doctor Collins and Doctor Crane, and I'm pretty sure I'll Match first with Internal Medicine here."

"We have to pass the first two parts of the MLE before we get there."

"Piece of cake, right? I mean, we are the top two in our class."

"Then I won't tell you what Doctor Gibbs said about what happened to the guy who was top of her graduating class."

"What?"

"Failed the MLE, did two remedial years, and failed again. Was told not to bother."

"Shit. How is that even possible?"

"Being a bad test-taker, I assume, or stressing so much that you become a bad test-taker. Which would have been me with the MCAT if you and others hadn't whipped me into shape."

"Now you're just whipped!"

"Do you hear me complaining for even one second about being married?"

"Other than about your mother-in-law, no."

"And do you think Elizaveta has been good for me?"

"Very."

"So 'whipped' isn't exactly a bad thing!"

Clarissa laughed, "You do like your teenage pussy! And you sure got a lot of it!"

"Including yours, Lissa!"

"I wasn't a teenager."

"Details, schmetails!"

We both laughed as we entered the building and went to the cafeteria to get our coffee.

November 20, 1986, McKinley, Ohio

"When am I most likely to ovulate?" Elizaveta asked on Thursday as we prepared to go out.

"The first week in December, I think, based on the timing of your periods. Why?"

"Doctor Forsberg suggested we might be trying too hard."

"When did you speak to her?"

"When I arrived home today. She said basically the same stuff you did."

"You were that concerned?" I asked.

"I just wanted to make sure. She said it was best to just relax and let it happen."

"That will be the day!" I chuckled.

"And whose fault is it that I really like sex? Hmm?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" I said with a silly grin.

"Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted, I was going to say that she basically said to not obsess, because that could interfere in getting pregnant. I said the usual way for me to get rid of stress was sex, and she laughed!"

I laughed, earning me a playful slap on the arm from Elizaveta.

"So, the way to not stress about trying to get pregnant is to try to get pregnant?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Basically," Elizaveta giggled.

A few minutes later, we left the house and drove to Doctor Gibbs' apartment so we could have what had become our once-monthly pizza dinners with her and Bobby.

"Do you have something to tell us?" Elizaveta asked Doctor Gibbs.

"You mean this?" she asked, holding up her left hand.

"Obviously!"

"He asked last weekend, and I said 'yes'. The torture is mostly finished."

"I thought that meant it had just begun!" I teased.

"I meant my Residency!" Doctor Gibbs declared.

"Oh," I replied flatly.

"Just wait," Doctor Gibbs said, giving me an evil look, "and you'll find out what torture is really like!"

"I married a Russian woman, so, been there, done that, got the T-shirt!"

"Husband!" Elizaveta said menacingly.

"Yes, Kitten?"

"Don't you 'Kitten' me! If you want torture, I'll show you torture!"

"Did you know, Doctor Gibbs, that I bought Elizaveta a flogger in Amsterdam?" I asked.

"Mike!" Elizaveta gasped.

"What kind of moron gives a feisty Russian woman a whip?!" Bobby asked.

"One who apparently gets off on pain," Doctor Gibbs said with a smirk.

"I married a Russian woman, so you know that's true!"

"Husband!" Elizaveta growled.

The buzzer rang, which meant the pizza had arrived, interrupting our teasing. While Bobby paid the delivery guy, Doctor Gibbs got plates, napkins, and bottles of pop, and Elizaveta pulled me to the far side of the room.

"Why would you say that?"

"Because it was funny! And while you might be embarrassed, I just gave Doctor Gibbs all the ammo she needs to tease me for years!"

"Why would you do that?"

"Because it was funny! I don't mind the teasing. And honestly, who could I say that to except someone like Doctor Gibbs or Anicka?"

"Clarissa! But she already knows!"

"And, I'll remind you, you told Alyssa and Serafima!"

Elizaveta giggled, "I called Milena and asked her where a store was so that Serafima could get a flogger!"

Which revealed something I hadn't been aware of, but would choose to ignore unless something was said in a way that would require me to take notice.

"It's a good thing for Elias that we stand for services," I chuckled. "Let's go have our pizza!"

"When is the wedding?" Elizaveta asked Doctor Gibbs.

"Next August, when I have my two-week vacation."

"Where are you taking your honeymoon?"

"Hawaiߴi!"

"Church or civil ceremony?" I asked.

"Bobby's church. It'll make his mom happy, and the priest won't give us grief about coming to church."

"Father Clifton, right?" I asked.

"Yes," Bobby replied. "Do you know him?"

"I've met him a few times, and he and my priest have lunch once a week. I got to know Father Jacobs pretty well because I had him for Latin and for world religions. I've met the deacon a few times, too, but I just don't have extra time to develop a good relationship with him."

"Available time is the bane of anyone who wants to have a relationship with a medical student or Resident," Bobby said. "Fortunately, Lor is past the worst part of it now, and in June, she's a Senior Resident and ready to be an Attending. When do you do your ER Clerkship?"

"Starting in October."

"Because Doctor Roth is trying to steal him from us!" Loretta groused. "And dangled a carrot only surgery really can."

"So surgery first? Then what?"

"OB/GYN because they had to coördinate with the Roman Catholic hospital in Cincinnati."

"Abortion, right?"

"Yes. Ohio doesn't require participating in elective abortions to get a medical license. By going to a Roman Catholic hospital, I can fully participate without having to excuse myself from situations which would be problematic for a deacon."

"I take it school is going OK, Mike," Doctor Gibbs asked.

"Yes. And I'm really enjoying my cardiology Preceptorship."

"Doctor Strong has had some very good things to say about you. Elizaveta, how is school going for you?"

"Fine. Calculus is difficult, but I'm making an A. Everything else is fairly easy, including Physics."

"Are you planning on going to college?" Bobby asked.

"Not right away. We're hoping to have our first baby soon after I graduate. If I go to college, it would be after Mike gets through his PGY1 year."

"What would you do?" Doctor Gibbs asked.

"Probably teach grade school. It's a traditional thing for Orthodox clergy wives. Our priest's wife is a kindergarten teacher. Our former deacon's wife was a fifth-grade teacher. It's the most flexible, too, because, with kids, you're working when they're in school and home when they're home."

"Do you have names picked out?"

"Rachel Michelle for a girl, John Michael for a boy."

"That's Russian style, right?"

"Not technically," Elizaveta replied. "True Russian style doesn't have middle names because it's simply formed from your father's name. It's called a 'patronymic' and is basically automatic. We chose to use forms of Mike's name which respects the tradition without directly following it. That's what his parents did. My parents actually put 'Viktorovna' on my birth certificate."

"May I ask your middle name, Doctor Gibbs?"

"Jenna. Loretta Jenna Gibbs. And Bobby is Robert Joseph Murphy. I'm not sure you could get more Irish!"

"A guy I graduated with, Sean Patrick O'Connor, had bright red hair. His younger sister, Siobhan Mary O'Connor, also had bright red hair. And from a family of six kids."

"My parents only had two," Bobby said. "My older brother is a lieutenant with the Cincinnati Police."

"Stereotypical Irish Catholic jobs," Loretta said. "Fire and police."

"Beats the hell out of being a priest and never being allowed to get laid!" Bobby declared.

"Our priests are mostly married," I said. "Come to the dark side!"

Bobby laughed, "I think the Catholic Church is over-the-top, so not bloody likely, as my grandfather would say!"

"Immigrant?"

"Yes."

"Just like my maternal grandparents. My dad's side came here from the Netherlands when the Dutch controlled Manhattan."

"On my dad's side," Doctor Gibbs said, "we're descendants of Nicholas Gibbs, who was born in Baden, Germany. He settled in Eastern Tennessee and fought in the Revolutionary War. On my mom's side, they came over from Scotland around the time of the potato famine."

"My dad's family came here via Alaska in the 19th century when it was still part of Russia," Elizaveta said. "My mom's family came over at the time of the Revolution."

"I thought most Alaskan Russians went back to Russia," Bobby said. "I remember reading about what they called Seward's Folly and how the Russians were treated."

"My great-great-grandfather was a cousin of Sophia Perovskaya, who was executed for participating in the plot to assassinate Tsar Alexander II. My great-great-grandfather decided it was better to stay in America and moved to California. My great-grandfather came to Ohio to attend Case School of Applied Science, which is now part of Case Western Reserve University, to study Civil Engineering. He had met my great-grandmother through church, and this was where her family lived."

"Well, on the positive side, your distant ancestor is responsible for the building of the Church of the Saviour on Blood," I said. "A church I would very much like to visit, though it's not used as a church under the Communists."

"Do you plan to visit Russia?" Bobby asked.

"At some point," I replied. "But it would have to be after my Residency. The thing is, most of the things I would want to see and do would be politically problematic because the Soviets do NOT like the Orthodox Church, and it's not clear I could get a visa to visit. But a lot can happen in the next six to ten years."

"That would be a cool trip," Elizaveta agreed. "And one that our kids should go on."

"Which means at least ten years, if not fifteen. Maybe the Communists will be gone without blowing up the world in their death throes!"