Chapter 32: Peter Pan Syndrome

August 29, 1986, McKinley, Ohio

"I spoke to my OB/GYN today," Elizaveta said. "She strongly suggested we use alternative contraception for the first month after I stop taking my pills. She's not aware of any complications that anyone has had, but she thinks it's a good idea."

"I suppose you can stop at the end of September, as you originally planned. I'll get condoms for that month."

"I HATE that idea! I love it when I feel you cum in me! I'm going to get a diaphragm. It'll only be for a month."

"I'll leave it up to you, Kitten. I don't have any objection to condoms."

"I'm going to guess you used them before."

"Yes."

"And a diaphragm?"

"Me? Personally? No!" I replied with a smirk.

"Sometimes, husband, you are a nut!"

"Only sometimes?"

"Now that I think about it, no! So?"

"Yes, there was one girl who used a diaphragm. I couldn't tell."

"That's good. I mean, not that you were with her, but that you couldn't tell. I hate the idea of rubbers or diaphragms, but the alternative of no sex for a month is not open for consideration!"

"No? Really?" I teased.

"As if YOU would like that!"

"You do realize that there's a healing period after you have a baby, right? Between one and two months, depending."

"Nobody told me THAT!" Elizaveta protested.

"Think about what your body has to go through, and I'm not sure you're going to want to have sex right away! And if you have to have an episiotomy, then you have the longer recovery period."

"A what?"

"Episiotomy. It's an incision made to ensure you don't tear your perineum. It's not always necessary, but it ensures an easy series of sutures for a neat incision rather than a ragged tear, which might not heal well."

"How do I know if I'll need one?"

"You'll need to discuss that with your doctor," I said. "I don't know anything more than the basic details. I'll know far more when I do an OB/GYN Clerkship and actually help deliver babies."

"And do exams?"

I nodded, "There's no way around that. But it's clinical, not sexy."

"You said that, but I still don't like it."

"My only other option is to drop out of medical school."

"I didn't mean that, Mike!" she said quickly. "I was just saying I'm not happy with you touching or looking at that part of any girl besides me. I know you have to do it; I just don't like it."

"Remember, Kitten, when it's time to have your baby, if your OB isn't available, you get the Resident, who is likely to be a man."

"Ugh!"

"Do you object to the fact that Doctor Evgeni delivered YOU?"

"I know, Mike, it's just uncomfortable."

"Exactly, Kitten. And that is how I felt when I saw that catheter inserted last year. Have a chat with Doctor Forsberg when we have dinner with them in a couple of weeks. I'm sure she can allay your concerns."

"I was thinking of switching to her," Elizaveta said. "That way, I'm seeing someone other than my mom's gynecologist."

"Ethically, she can't say anything to your mom."

"Why take the chance?"

"It's up to you, Kitten."

"Would you be OK with Doctor Smith being my GP?"

"A man?" I asked skeptically.

"He doesn't check THOSE things! That's what Doctor Forsberg would check!"

"Again, it's up to you. The only hard and fast rule is that I can't treat you."

"But you can give me VERY thorough exams!"

"Want one now? We have time before we have to leave for Code Blue's usual orientation concert at Taft."

"Yes!" Elizaveta exclaimed, heading towards the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes behind her.

August 30, 1986, McKinley, Ohio

"Father, Tasha told Matushka and me that Nik is contesting the ecclesiastical divorce," I said to Father Nicholas when I arrived at church on Saturday evening.

"He didn't tell me that. Do you know what his grounds are?"

"No, I don't. I'm not totally up to speed, but permission to remarry is usually only withheld in the case of fraud, deception, or adultery, and then, only until the bishop feels the person is properly repentant."

"I know of one case that worked out to be permanent, and it more or less mirrors what happened with your dad. Your dad wouldn't be granted permission to marry in the church, nor have his secular marriage crowned, except with extreme repentance and after a long period of regular attendance at services and spiritual counseling."

I nodded, "Whereas my mom, as the wronged party, had hers granted immediately and with the right to have the non-penitential service."

"Speaking of which, how is she?"

"Fine. She and her boyfriend seem to be getting along pretty well, and he's Byzantine Rite, so if things develop, I suspect he'll simply convert. I saw the directive from Vladyka JOHN on the reception of Roman Catholics, and he'd just have to renounce the Pope and say the Creed without the Filioque."

"What's your take on that?"

"That I'm not a bishop, so it's none of my business!" I grinned.

"The party-line answer, Father Deacon. And your private opinion, Mike?"

"Romans and Anglicans I'd receive in that manner, so long as they were confirmed. Anyone else, I'd baptize and chrismate because there are too many suspect baptismal forms amongst the Protestants. His Grace is OK with any baptism with water in the name of the Trinity, which I don't have a problem with, per se. I just prefer baptism to be proper, by immersion, not by infusion or sprinkling."

"The Romans use infusion!" Father Nicholas protested.

"Oh, I know, but our debate with them is FAR different from our debate with most Protestants. Strangely, I'd receive heretics by a less stringent rite than heterodox."

"Yes, because you know the actual meaning of 'heretic' — someone who causes division, as opposed to 'heterodox', which is someone who teaches a different doctrine altogether and was never part of the one, holy, catholic, and apostolic church. Little 'c' on catholic, of course. But back to Tasha and Nik — do you know if he's contesting the civil divorce?"

"Apparently not," I replied. "And it wouldn't really matter. He'd have to prove adultery to succeed in blocking her from getting alimony, and nothing he can do can prevent an order of child support. May I speak candidly?"

"Have I ever been able to stop you?"

"No," I said with a soft laugh. "Nik's acting out of spite with regard to the ecclesiastical divorce. He's doing it because he knows how much it will hurt Tasha. He's angry with her and even angrier with me. I can't return what he believes I stole from him. And I know you've spoken with Tasha, who is extremely offended by his thinking in that regard."

"I believe you've both learned that even private sins can harm others who aren't directly sinned against."

"Yes, that's true. But Nik believes I sinned against him, and despite trying to find some kind of resolution, he's adamantly refused. I can't undo what was done, and neither can Tasha. I've been to confession, admitted that I severely missed the mark, and accepted penance. There isn't anything else I can do. I believe the same is true for Tasha, though obviously, I'm not privy to her confessions, and I know you can't comment at all."

"No, I can't, but I will say that she has made every effort to find a way forward with Nik, and he's been steadfast in his refusal to budge from his position."

"This is obviously a pastoral concern, but if you could find your way to help Nik see that he's really hurting Tasha, I'd be grateful."

"Neither you nor I want to see a divorce," Father Nicholas said, "but if it has to happen, we both want the best possible outcome for both parties. That's how you responded to your parents' divorce, and I'd say it's the right solution. Fortunately, you didn't get grief for refusing to take sides the way you did with the situation with Liz."

"My parents thought loving both Liz and them WAS taking sides," I replied. "Mom has moved off that position; I'm not sure Dad has. He's back to barely tolerating Paul."

"Back to the original topic, I'll speak with Nik and see what I can do. Will Tasha formally transfer her membership to Holy Transfiguration?"

"She hasn't said, but I suspect so, now that Father Alexi is there."

"OK. Shall we vest and prepare for Vespers?"

"Yes, Father."

September 1, 1986, McKinley, Ohio

"Going to school on Labor Day is just strange," Clarissa said when we met on Monday morning.

"As they said at orientation, hospitals don't close for holidays."

"When do the public schools start?"

"Tomorrow."

"And your pussy cat is a Senior! Does that mean babies?"

"One to start with," I chuckled. "Twins would be a little too much excitement. The plan is for July, assuming I hit the bulls-eye the first time."

"With the arrow you have, how could you miss?" Clarissa teased.

"That has exactly nothing to do with it," I chuckled. "The extra inch or two the sperm would have to swim is pretty much irrelevant to the chances of conception. We'll start trying in October to guard against the little turkey deciding not to stay in the womb for thirty-eight weeks."

"Practical as always!"

"I'm not sure having a baby during medical school and my wife delivering right after her High School graduation is practical!"

"True!"

"Mike?" Melissa Bush called out. "Do you have a moment?"

"Sure. Clarissa will need to stay."

"I understand. I just wanted to thank you for what you said to Doctor Collins."

"You're welcome. I meant every word."

She smiled, "I know. What Preceptorship do you have?"

"Radiology. Are you still doing your internal med Clerkship?"

"I start in the ER in about twenty minutes."

"Assigned to?"

"Doctor Foulks, a new Resident who started June 1st. Would you have coffee with me once a week so we can continue talking?"

"It would have to be here, at school, before class."

"That would work. Tomorrow?"

"Sure, I agreed. "When is your review with Doctor Mertens?"

"A week from today. She's supposed to talk to you before then."

"Then perhaps we should have our first coffee next week."

"That's a good idea," Melissa said. "7:00am a week from tomorrow?"

"See you then," I said.

"Thanks."

She left and headed towards the parking lot while Clarissa and I went into the building.

"Interesting development," Clarissa observed.

"I told you what Doctor Collins said, and I suspect he made it clear to Melissa just how difficult her situation is. She thinks I can help, and maybe I can."

"Because you think even she deserves redemption."

"Even her dad deserves redemption, if he's sufficiently penitent. She seems to be. But her REAL punishment is going to be failing to Match."

"That would really suck."

"Well, we need to pass the first step of the licensing exam in May, so I'm not worrying about the Match at this point."

"We'll pass," Clarissa declared. "All of us. Should I be here next Tuesday at 7:00am?"

"That's probably a good idea."

"I can sit at another table and study. I don't want your Kitten to worry."

"Thanks, Lissa."

September 2, 1986, McKinley, Ohio

"Hi, Nate!" I said when I arrived at the hospital on Tuesday, using the ER entrance for quick access to the locker room.

"Hi, Mike! How's radiology?"

"I'll probably need a case of Nō-Dōz!" I chuckled. "But coffee will have to do."

"I bet!" he said, buzzing me in.

I went to the locker room and almost laughed out loud because I walked in on Nurse Ellie, who was changing scrubs and had on her translucent panties and bra.

"Hi, Mike!" she gushed, turning to face me so I got a full view of her.

"Hi," I said evenly.

I went straight to a locker to hang up my ryassa. I clipped on my ID, put my stethoscope around my neck, then put my bag into the locker and locked it with my combination lock. I was happy Ellie hadn't flirted, beyond making sure I saw her body, and left the locker room without a word. I quickly walked down the corridor to radiology to find Mitch doing a series of X-rays of a young woman's jaw.

"Recovering from a jaw fracture," he said. "I'm taking the final films to confirm she's fully healed and she can get the wires off."

"OK to look at the chart?" I asked.

"Sure."

I picked up the chart and stepped out of the room. I flipped through it and saw she'd been beaten by her husband and had come in with a fractured jaw, fractured wrist, and multiple bruises. Her jaw had been wired shut as part of the standard treatment, and if the films Mitch was taking were clear, she'd have the wires removed.

The phone rang, and Mitch called out for me to answer it.

"Radiology, Mike Loucks."

"Mike, it's Ellie. Ortho wants a portable X-ray in Trauma 2 for a dislocated knee."

"OK. I'll let Mitch know. He's finishing a jaw series. Did they say 'stat'?"

"No, but given how painful that injury is, sooner would be better."

"Got it."

We hung up, and I let Mitch know. Because he was almost done, Mitch finished the series, then had me escort the patient, Teri Caufield, to patient services before joining him in Trauma 2, where I saw Melissa assisting him.

"Doctor Foulks, that's Mike Loucks, a medical student," Melissa said.

He turned, "Hi, Mike. What year?"

"Second. I'm on a Preceptorship."

"OK. Then just stand and observe."

I did, and a couple of minutes later, we left the room, Mitch pressed the button on the remote, and we went back in so he could change plates to get a second view. Once again, we left so he could take the X-ray, then we gathered the plates and pushed the machine back to Radiology, where he began developing those plates along with the ones from Teri Caufield.

"Jaw looks good," he said. "And the knee looks bad. At least one tendon torn."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. Touch football in gym class didn't work out too well for him."

"You're pretty good at reading those X-rays. Care to teach me?"

"If you're serious, sure."

"I am. Is that rare?"

"Most students who aren't interested in orthopedics don't care very much. They expect someone else to read the X-rays for them. The exceptions are OB/GYN students and cardiology students, both with ultrasound."

"Well, I'm happy to be the exception."

While the film was drying, he pulled the films from Teri Caufield's ER visit, which showed an obviously broken jaw, and held it up to the one which was drying to show the difference. He then found some 'good' knee films to show me how he'd detected the torn ligament. I realized that if I did this, it would no longer be as boring, and I would get a chance to try out my skills with new films, because it was only the Resident who would report the findings, and Mitch and I could discuss them without interfering in treatment.

Mitch had me deliver the films while he set up for a cardiac ultrasound. I was surprised that he handled the transducer, not the cardiologist. In OB, the doctors had done it, but here, Mitch moved the transducer while the doctor watched the screen and gave him directions. Unfortunately, that meant I couldn't really ask questions until the doctor and the patient left.

"What was he looking for?" I asked.

"A tumor," Mitch replied. "He found it, but it's pretty small and not invasive, so I suspect they'll be able to treat it surgically."

"I'm curious how you knew."

"Most docs talk; Doctor Sullivan doesn't. It's a good thing you kept quiet because he's a real ass about any of us talking to him."

"You could have warned me!"

"Now you know!" he grinned.

The rest of the afternoon was busy, but not overly so, and when 5:00pm rolled around, I headed home.

September 3, 1986, McKinley, Ohio

"Thanks for coming in early," Doctor Mertens said when I walked into her office. "I have coffee and doughnuts. Please help yourself."

"Thanks," I said.

I went to the credenza, poured a cup of coffee, chose a glazed blueberry doughnut, then sat down across from Doctor Mertens.

"Tell me what you think of Melissa, as her fellow student."

"May I ask a question first?"

"Sure."

"Did you have anything to do with me being assigned to her for my Preceptorship in internal medicine?"

"I suggested it, but the final decision rests with the Attendings at the hospital. Why?"

"It was suggested that the pairing was intended for both of us to fail."

"Who said that?!" Doctor Mertens demanded.

"I can't say," I said.

She frowned, "Please know that was not my intent, though I can't speak for others."

I decided to put everything on the table.

"What about concerns about me being a religious fanatic?" I asked.

"Not from me, but I have heard that."

"Why not say something?" I asked.

"Because you're first in your class, have honors in all your courses, and have perfect marks on your Preceptorships. May I say something a bit vulgar?"

"I've heard all the words," I said. "And despite the cassock, I've used 'em, too."

"If I spoke with every student about every bullshit rumor, I'd have no time for anything else! To be honest, I have bigger fish to fry, such as doctors treating female medical students as their personal harems. Nadine was just one of the complaints. A bigger problem is female medical students sleeping with doctors to improve their grades."

"Yeah, that might be a worse problem than someone accusing me of something that's actually true, though not the way they mean it."

"May I be very direct?"

"Sure."

"There are some people who will reject you from the Match out of hand for wearing your cassock, just as they would a black student or a female student. From a purely pragmatic view, you should hang it up and never wear it here or at the hospital, and absolutely not wear it for your interviews. If you do wear it, you risk an outright refusal to list you for the Match. Now, I can't tell you what to do, but what I've said is true."