Chapter 26: Relationship Troubles

June 12, 1986, McKinley, Ohio

"Ready for law school?" I asked Jocelyn when she and Gene arrived on Thursday night to have dinner with Elizaveta and me.

"As much as I can be," she replied. "But at least I have the Summer off."

"Oh, sure, rub it in!" I groused.

"I still can't believe you guys only had a week off!" Gene declared.

"And that's it, except for a few days at Christmas this year. Then we're in clinical rotations. How was Seattle?"

"Great!" Jocelyn exclaimed. "Dale was sad that you couldn't join us, but he understood."

"Hopefully, he'll come this way at some point."

"He's planning a trip home to see his parents around the holidays."

"Cool. We need to get together as a trio for root beer floats, even if it's ten below!"

"Plan on it!" Jocelyn exclaimed. "We had floats in Seattle, but they were nothing like the A&W floats, so it wasn't the same."

"What do you think about Nina?" I asked.

"I think Dale found a hot chick to warm his bed. She's not the future Mrs. Melrose."

"That was the impression I had from our last phone call, but you never know. I mean, look at you and Gene!"

"Hey!" she protested, sounding outraged.

I chuckled, "And it's still easy to wind you up!"

"I'll wind YOU up, Buster!" she threatened.

"Was this how it was growing up?" Elizaveta inquired.

"Only after we passed puberty," I replied. "Before that, we didn't tease much."

"Mike and Dale were ... whatever that Russian word for being rude or uncouth is."

"«Некультурный» (nekulturny)," I chuckled.

"You never learned any Russian?" Elizaveta asked.

"He only started using it when he was trying to get in Tasha's dad's good graces," Jocelyn said. "I remember him speaking Russian to his grandparents when we were in grade school, but not to anyone else."

"Tasha's family only spoke Russian at home," I added, "though Deacon Vasily had mercy on me and allowed English to be used when I was there."

"He had ulterior motives!" Jocelyn teased.

"You think?" I chuckled.

"How is Tasha doing?"

"Don't ask," I sighed.

"She and Nik are having problems?"

I nodded, "Yes. But I can't say more."

"I'll give her a call," Jocelyn offered.

"It can't hurt," I agreed.

June 13, 1986, McKinley, Ohio

"Can we eat together, just the two of us?" Clarissa asked when we took our lunch break on Friday.

I had noticed she had been slightly out of sorts when we'd met in the parking lot as we always did, but she'd passed it off as being tired. I wasn't so sure that was the case, and now I was fairly certain it wasn't. Well, she could be tired, but it was more than that.

"Sure. What's bugging you, Lissa?"

"Let's get our food."

We got in line and selected our food.

"Fasting again, right?" Clarissa asked.

"Ascension was yesterday, though we celebrated on Wednesday evening with a Vesperal Divine Liturgy. But Vladyka JOHN hasn't issued a new directive, so Bishop ARKADY's proclamation of 'Party until Pentecost' is still in effect."

"Can I ask why you alternate between 'Vladyka' and 'Bishop'?" Clarissa inquired after we paid for our selections.

"'Vladyka' means, effectively, 'Daddy', though literally, it means 'little master', and is used for my spiritual father. It can also be used as a term of endearment and respect for another bishop, but generally, anyone who is not my bishop is 'Your Grace' or 'Bishop', depending on if I'm speaking to them or about them, or 'Your Eminence' if it's the Metropolitan. In this case, Bishop ARKADY is no longer my bishop, nor even a ruling bishop, and to be honest, I do not respect him beyond the grace of his office and that due any other person."

We sat down away from the others, something I'd have to explain later, and after I prayed, we began to eat.

"Trouble with Abby?" I asked.

"I'm not surprised you know."

"Not so much 'know' as 'suspect'," I replied. "She was very cold and stand-offish when we were in Marietta. I had the feeling that she wanted to say something but was reluctant to do so."

"It's the same stuff as when we were in Europe, but she's just kept quiet."

"Which, in and of itself, is fine," I replied. "I have no quarrel with her."

"But she does with you, and strangely, the fact that you don't have any quarrel with her bugs her."

"Seriously? What does she want? For me to act like the people from Faith Bible Church?"

"She can't wrap her head around the idea that you agree with them but don't act like them."

"Agree with them on what?" I asked. "Gays and lesbians? Nothing could be further from the truth!"

"I know that, but she can't wrap her head around the idea."

"What's so hard to understand about acting in Christian love?"

"I guess it really comes down to your objection to our orientation."

"If she believes that, she doesn't understand me at all. It's not about your orientation, or desire, or anything like that. It's that we consider sex outside of marriage to be a sin. But do you see me condemning anyone in that regard?"

"You'd be the last person to throw the first stone, or any stone, for that matter."

"So what's her real problem?" I asked.

"She doesn't like you, and before you say anything, it makes no sense to me, either, as you've never treated her any differently from any other person."

"It's my beliefs and my worldview," I replied. "I think, fundamentally, there is no room for my beliefs in her worldview, even though there is room in mine for hers. What's the situation?"

"She doesn't want to go out with the gang tonight. She said, and I'm quoting here, I could do whatever I wanted."

"That doesn't sound good," I replied.

"No, it doesn't. She knows about our commitment — I mean yours and mine — and I'm not going to change that for anything. And I know you won't, as your pussy cat accepts our relationship as part of who you are."

"You seem to have an obsession with my wife's pussy," I chuckled.

"Don't you?" Clarissa retorted.

"I do!" I declared. "Back to what you said, it has the makings of a passive-aggressive ultimatum."

"That's how I took it, too."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I think I'll stay home tonight and see if she'll talk to me, and we can find a way forward. If not ... well, I guess I need to find a new place to live."

"I'm sorry, Lissa."

"It's not your fault, Petrovich. You haven't done anything wrong. I think this was the result of the trajectory once we went to Europe."

"I thought all that was in the past," I protested.

"It was just simmering under the surface. I was basically prepared for this."

"Why didn't you say something?" I asked.

"To what end? Nothing you could do, short of abandoning your faith, would satisfy her, and that's not going to happen."

"I wish there was something I could do."

"There is, Petrovich — be there for me the way you promised."

"I will never break that promise, Lissa."

"Nor would I ever break mine to you," she replied.

We finished our lunch, then joined the others.

"Sorry about that," Clarissa said. "I needed some time with Petrovich."

"Is everything OK?" Fran asked.

"It's fine," Clarissa replied. "Nothing to worry about."

I wasn't sure about that, but she had spoken to me, and that was, I felt sufficient to keep the commitment we'd all made to be accountable to each other about any troubles we were having. Everyone was finished eating, so we went outside to get some fresh air before returning to the lecture hall for the afternoon portion of our class.

That evening, Robby, Sophia, Brandon, Kimiko, José, Dona, Jocelyn, Gene, Mark, Alyssa, Jason, Fran, and Pete joined Elizaveta and me for dinner at our favorite Chinese restaurant.

"No Clarissa?" Fran asked quietly as we waited to be seated.

"She and Abby needed some time together," I replied.

"Shit," Fran swore sotto voce. "That's the last thing we need!"

"Yeah. She's doing OK, though."

"Good. Keep me posted?"

"Of course."

We were seated and, as we usually did, ordered a number of items to share, along with egg rolls and crab cakes. When we finished our meal, we walked to the theatre and saw Ferris Bueller's Day Off. We all enjoyed the movie, and when it ended, we went for ice cream, after which we parted, and Elizaveta and I headed home.

June 15, 1986, McKinley, Ohio

"How are you doing this morning?" I asked Mark when he arrived at church on Sunday morning to serve as an acolyte.

Mark smiled, "Nervous, but this is going to be the best day of my life!"

"Which part?" I asked with a smirk.

Mark laughed softly, "That, too. Do you know how difficult it was?"

I nodded, "Indeed I do, though Elizaveta and I hadn't been together as long as you and Alyssa."

"Any advice?"

"Just relax and don't rush," I replied. "And remember, you'll likely be emotionally and even physically exhausted."

"I suppose I should be about my duties."

I nodded, then went to join Father Nicholas to say our entrance prayers while Mark began lighting the oil lamps.

"I had an interesting conversation with His Grace last night," Father Nicholas said when we went into the vestry.

"About?" I asked.

"Ordaining Mark a subdeacon."

"He asked, and I offered my honest opinion. I actually proposed Elias as well and mentioned Mark's wedding was upcoming."

"Yes, but you also failed to mention he had only been Orthodox for a year."

"Oops," I grinned sheepishly.

"You also failed to mention that Elias is only eighteen."

"He did ask about young men who I felt were qualified," I said defensively.

"Relax, Mike," Father Nicholas said with a smile. "You aren't in any trouble, and I probably shouldn't have tried to wind you up."

"All the women in my life do that regularly, so I'm used to it. It started with my mom and sister and hasn't let up!"

"Anyway, I do agree with your assessment, and His Grace would like to meet Mark sometime over the Summer, with an eye to a possible ordination next year. I think it's best nothing be said until Mark and Alyssa return from their honeymoon."

"He's a bit nervous, but very happy, which I think is normal."

We vested, then began the Proskomide. Four hours later, Elizaveta and I went home so she could change into the dress she'd purchased for Mark and Alyssa's wedding, where we would serve as sponsors. Once she had changed, we drove back to church. The marriage ceremony was identical to the one Elizaveta and I'd had a year previously, albeit with Father Nicholas performing the crowning rather than the bishop.

After the crowning, there was a brief reception, and then Mark and Alyssa left for Port Columbus for their flight to Orlando, where they'd spend a week at the Disney properties paid for by their parents. As soon as they left, Elizaveta and I headed home so I could study with my group. Just before 9:00pm, the phone rang, and Elizaveta answered, then came into the living room.

"That was Anicka," Elizaveta announced. "Milena had a baby girl, who they named Abigail Charlotte. Both Milena and the baby are fine."

"Great!" I said. "I assume you'll handle the gift?"

"Of course! I'll bring you a card to sign once I buy the card and gift."

She left, and we finished our studies. When we finished, Clarissa remained behind when the others left.

"I think it's over," she said. "I'm going to speak to Doctor Blahnik about renting a room from her, just in case."

"Just in case?"

"OK, for when I break things off with Abby later this week, once everything is arranged."

"I'm sorry it's come to this," I said.

"Don't blame yourself, Petrovich. You've been nothing but kind and loving."

"I want you to be happy."

"Losing you as my best friend would be devastating. I'll be fine. I promise."

"Let me know what I can do for you."

"Just love me the way you always have."

"I promise."

June 17, 1986, McKinley, Ohio

"This should be fun," I chuckled as Clarissa and I walked from our cars on Tuesday morning.

"You get to poke me again!" Clarissa teased.

"Right," I chuckled. "Because I'm going to insert the IV there!"

"Well, it IS a tube through which life-giving fluids flow!"

I laughed hard, "Nice, Lissa."

"And talk about a 'wide bore'!" she giggled.

"What's gotten into you this morning?" I asked.

"Not you, that's for sure!"

"Lissa..."

"What? I thought I was allowed to tease you in private."

"You are, but you haven't teased about you and me for a long time."

"Sorry," she said, sounding chagrined.

"I wasn't complaining, just wondering what had changed?"

"The situation with Abby, I guess. I'm going to tell her tomorrow that I'm moving out. I don't think she'll be surprised."

"Was she willing to talk to you about it?"

"Not really. She didn't come right out and say it, but she wanted us to hang out only with her friends, and I suspect if she had her druthers, she'd want me to find a new study group."

"Are you doing OK?"

"I could use a hug."

"Tonight at the house, when you come for study group, Elizaveta won't object."

"She would to cuddling, though."

"She would, and that crosses the line you and I agreed we can't cross."

"True. There are times I wonder..."

"And you know why things turned out the way they did," I said gently. "You can't be a Matushka, and you have a strong, strong preference for girls. Being 'Petrovsexual' was never going to work."

"I'm not so sure."

"You're emotional now, Lissa," I replied. "Not to open old wounds, but you were emotional when you and Glenda broke up, and that could easily have led somewhere neither of us was ready to go. Remember, no matter what happens, I love you, and I'll be there for you as best I can."

"I know," Clarissa sighed. "I just wish things were slightly different."

"And that slightly different universe might have turned out nothing like this one. It could be far worse."

"That's a lot for you to say, given what happened with Lee and Sandy."

"I don't even want to consider what could be worse," I replied. "I just know that it might be, and that's enough to not want to think about it."

"I suppose."

We entered the building, which meant our conversation had to cease. We got our coffees and went to the lecture hall to learn about inserting IVs. Doctor Tomkins began the lecture with a brief history of IVs, including what was widely regarded as an apocryphal story of Pope Innocent VIII receiving blood transfusions. Based on what I knew of my medical history, the story had to be apocryphal as basic knowledge of the circulatory system was still over a century in the future.

The first recorded success was in 1831, when Thomas Latta proposed and tested using fluid replacement injections to treat cholera. Later in that same decade, James Blundell, an English obstetrician, began experimenting with blood transfusions for women who bled during delivery, but given there was no understanding of blood typing, the results were completely unpredictable.

Experimentation and testing continued into the 20th century, with increasing success, but the widespread use of intravenous therapy did not become widely available until the 1950s. In the 1960s, the concept of providing nutritional needs via IV began to be investigated, and a solution of hydrolyzed proteins and dextrose had met with some success. By the mid-1970s, complete nutrition was achieved by using solutions which contained protein, fat, and carbohydrates.

"Before we begin our demonstration," Doctor Tomkins said, "I want to mention needle phobia, which is fairly common. Usually, but not always, it develops after a first IV treatment, though it can also occur with regular injections or for some other psychological reason. The symptoms include tachycardia and hypertension before insertion, and bradycardia and a drop in blood pressure occur with signs and symptoms of pallor, diaphoresis, and syncope after insertion.

"In non-emergent situations, you'll need to assess your patient by discussing the IV with them; in emergent ones, you just need to be aware. If you detect any signs of nervousness or the symptoms I mentioned before, do your best to reässure the patient with a soothing tone and educate the patient about the process. Even without the phobia, it's a good idea to keep the needles out of sight until the last few seconds before use.

"We have with us today six nurses, who are the experts in IVs, to assist us in learning how to do this. Once we've gone through the steps, we'll break into smaller groups, and the nurses will demonstrate IV insertion. Following the demonstration, each of you will have a chance to insert an IV in a fellow student. You've all signed waivers agreeing to participate, and this is a mandatory skill for passing this course, and for passing your clinical rotations. Let's begin."

Doctor Tomkins explained the equipment and supplies we'd use — a tourniquet, a catheter, an alcohol wipe, gauze, tape, and a 'heparin lock' — a device which connected to the catheter and into which the IV tube would be inserted. He then showed slides of each step and answered about a dozen questions. Everything was familiar, as our study group had reviewed the procedures during our recent sessions, including watching a videotape which Fran had borrowed from a nurse she knew.

"You sure you want me to try this?" Peter asked when it was our turn.

"As sure as you are!" I replied with a grin.

"Prepare your patient, please," Nurse Nicole said.