Chapter 9

The Q&A session would happen in the kitchen, walkers and others had gone to their rooms and pods; they were entirely free to talk about anything.

“Right, all got your slices of cake, biscuits, drinks? We’ll have cocoa in an hour or so. But I’ve decided there is no end to this session, no bed time. You can leave if or when you want, but the panel will stay until all the questions have been read out and hopefully answered. I shall read out the question and then each panel member can answer if they wish or they can say they have nothing to add, or they can say they would rather not answer. If the questioner – anonymous or not – feels they need a subsequent question, they can ask one more. But that’s it. It can’t become a long conversation about one question to the exclusion of the others. Oh, is that for me? Thanks.” Mairead Craft smiled and sat down.

Abigail had brought her a piece of cake, and Rupert had two coffees on for himself and one for her. It could be a long night.

“Right, I did ask Mary and Amelie to sort these so if there are duplicates they can be read out together. But they will all be read out. Actually, why don’t you two read them?”

Mary picked up the first one. “Oh, into the deep end. ‘What should my bust size be when I am fourteen.’” Amelie read “And this one is related ‘Should I be wearing a bra by the time I am eleven.’”

“Rupert – want to take this one? Only joking.” That broke the ice and everyone laughed. Rupert laughed with relief. “I’ll take this first if that’s okay.” Mairead explained that girls grew at different rates, some caught up, some didn’t. It was all very variable, like height. Abigail added that it was nothing that exercise could help with “I know, I tried.” but then she was well built now. Rupert added “Just remember that bust size is a fashion as much as anything else. In the eighteenth century I think women were much larger. In the 1920s and 1960s it was fashionable to have no bust.” A voice from the back said “What do you like?” He gulped, took a breath and said “I like a pretty girl who can hold a conversation. We aren’t all mindless morons ... just most of us.”

“Okay,” said Mary, “next question. Oh, this is very different. ‘Is it worth going to university?’”

“Either of you want to answer this? Yes, Abigail.”

“I think it definitely is. It is very expensive now, but there are still supposed to be better jobs available, so yes, it is worth it. I know that some left school as soon as they could to get a job and earn money, most are in the same job and will be for ever. Without a degree there is little chance of progression ... unless you start your own business. No, I’d say go. Rupert?”

“I’m less sure these days. People come out with such huge debts. The problem is that more and more jobs demand you have a degree for even basic work. It’s hard to see why sometimes. I’m not sure, myself. But I don’t know what else I could do. I’m not a genius and I’m not without prospects, I think.” He picked his words carefully. He had nearly said a no-hoper, but then realised that some of the audience might not be academic material. “So I’m of two minds. If it helps get a job then it could be worth it, but if it doesn’t...”

Mairead added “Thank you both. For myself, I’d say only go if you are actually interested in the subject. Oh, and it isn’t something you could study out of university. Both Abi and Rupe mentioned the massive cost, so if you are going for a career, factor that in and plan for a high paying job. But if you are interested in oh I don’t know, Archeology. Well most of the archeology graduates won’t get a job in it after, but if that is your interest, it shouldn’t put you off. You will meet people who have given their life to the subject – they are the lucky ones, but at least you learn about what interests you. It is difficult these days. I don’t actually think it a bad thing that students have some investment in their own education, but the pendulum has swung too far, it was a great way of getting the universities more money without it having to come directly from taxation -”

“But it’s a con!” Rupert announced “The money DOES come from taxation, and then supposedly students pay it back. But many never will. It just hangs over them like an axe, undermining their ability to earn money and invest in their communities.” He had found his voice on this, and carried on for a while. With a name like Rupert, people assumed he would be right wing posh, but his parents weren’t rich and he knew it would cost them a lot to help him at uni. He saw the way education was being reserved for the rich again and was angry about it.

Mairead smiled at him: “As you see, there are plenty of strongly held views on this subject, like many others.”

Rupe grinned sheepishly “Sorry, did I get too agitated?”

“Not at all, it’s good to hear that young people care.”

“Okay, mutual admiration club over – next question.” interjected Amelie. It was about badges in the Girl Guides, should they be upgraded, should they be easier, should they still offer them? The question had several sub-clauses. It took a while to answer them all. Mrs Craft was determined to let girls ask the questions that they cared about; if some girl cared about badges then she would answer it as well as she could. Abigail and Rupert had little to add.

“Question four and five can be answered together. I’m going to ask them and then after that we should have a break for cocoa. We are half way through after them. Question four: ‘When should I sleep with my boy friend. And the fifth question: ‘I’m eleven and my friend wants to put his thing in me. He says it would be just for fun.’ There isn’t actually a question there, but I think we get what it would be.”

“I’ll answer first.” said Rupert. “To the fifth question. You are eleven, I don’t know what age the boy is, but it doesn’t matter. The answer should be no, no, no. Even boys of eleven can produce sperm and it only takes one sperm. But even that’s not the reason. I don’t want to sound like some old foggy but eleven? I’m not going to say that you don’t know what you want – you’ve already said that, but you aren’t ready for sex. Even if you have periods, you aren’t ready for a full-blown sexual relationship. Apart from anything else, the exploratory phase is great fun. Finding out how to kiss, finding out what you like. Don’t rush it. No, don’t do it yet. And the first questioner? I mean the fourth. You know what I mean. There is no right age. You don’t hit sixteen – the legal age – and suddenly become a sexual being overnight. The law is stupid like that. You might be ready at fifteen [Amelie smiled] or not ready until you are twenty. It isn’t a race or a competition. You need to be in touch with yourself and give yourself time to think what you want. Everybody in your class has done it? So what? Everybody in my class claims to go to the pub, I know that isn’t true. Take your time. And I mean that, take YOUR time. When you are ready then let it happen with someone you love. If they are pressuring you, they don’t love you enough.”

Abigail agreed with what he had said, and Mairead just said that she couldn’t add anything useful to what had been said; she agreed with it all. Some of the girls were all but speechless. Discussing sex at home was not on the agenda. It was good to hear about it like this without embarrassment. A couple more cards were added to the pile during the break.

The girls were all quiet but excited as they drank their cocoa. “Well, this is proving interesting. I’ll either be commended for the frankness of the advice or I’ll no longer be a Guide leader. I wonder which it will be.” Mairead said to her small group of deputies.

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing a great job.” Mary said. “Unembarrassed responses to difficult questions is just what are needed.”