Chapter 2

“I don’t know that I want to share the story of our very first time with the rapist I need to go see,” Ann said.

“The rapist ... What?”

“Yes ... See, it says right here in this letter from the court that I need to meet with “the rapist Jill--”

“Uh, that says “therapist.”

“Same difference ... It’s involuntary, I can’t just say ‘no.’”

“Jesus ... Ann, it hurts me that you are having to jump through all of these stupid hoops.”

“I know, but it was the lesser of evils.”

They had moved north, across the river sort of like the escapees from plantations had 150 years ago. It wasn’t an exact analogy. Unlike with race which was obvious, who you loved was more like like a religious or political belief. Something that could be hidden in plain sight if one was careful. But Ann and Will both imagined that living where what they were was not illegal did feel a little similar.

Officially, he had moved out of state and she had moved across town to live with a relative-- someone willing to collect and forward to her letters from the court. It was all a big farce. She would pretend to be contrite, her lawyer would pretend to be sincere, the judge would pretend to believe her, and the prosecutor would pretend to be tough-- countering claims by his primary opponent that he shouldn’t have allowed so many others to go unprosecuted.

“That memory is just really too sweet,” she said. “I mean ... I wouldn’t mind telling it to a receptive audience. I just don’t want to share it with--”

“You don’t have to. We’ll start somewhere else. Maybe the church counselor?”

“No, I want to tell that story a little later.”

“The spare bed?”

“Okay ... Gosh, Will, that was one weird house.”

“I don’t know, it worked out pretty well for us. The creaky stairs, the sticky door, and the basement alcove. Nobody could have ever snuck up on us.”

“Especially dad.”

“Yeah, he was really loud coming down those wood stairs,” said Will.

“It was a nice bed.”

“Nice? It had a broken spring right in the middle. That’s why mom and dad got another one and put the old one in the basement for guests.”

“But Will, think about it. How did that spring break?”

“I don’t know.”

“How long did they have the new bed?”

“I don’t know, Ann... 20 years maybe?”

“Okay ... So what that means is that the bed that was down in the basement, all made up with sheets nd a comforter for guests ... The one with the broken spring right in the middle. That is the bed that they made both of us on.”

“Oh, wow--”

“Yeah, think about it Will, mom and dad naked on that bed. Dad on top of mom, his cock moving around inside of her ... Making you and then later making me ... Then years later ... The two of us on that same bed making love with one another.”

“Oh my God, Ann, that’s why you wanted to...”

“Yeah, Will, and then ... Two decades after they made us, we made their grandchildren on that same bed.”

“Pretty sweet...”

“Will, it has always been sweet. But you know how sentimental I am. How I crave connections, and see everything in loops ... It was a different world for mom and dad, they really knew one another.”

“Yeah, well they grew up in the same small town. Went to church and school together...”

“Dad and Uncle Mike were best friends, they played high school ball together, worked jobs together, fixed up grandpa’s old truck together...”

“At first mom was just Uncle Mike’s kid sister who was always hanging around. But the world changed. Grandma and grandpa still live in the house they moved into when mom was two. How many places have we lived?”

“So, people don’t stay in one place anymore.”

“It’s not just that, they don’t really know one another anymore, they don’t interact. I trust you, Will.”

“Okay...”

“I couldn’t imagine doing the things that we do together ... The truly personal, intimate things ... Sex, but is not just sex, it’s so much more ... Not with a stranger.”

“We played with Darcy and Steve ... And Jane ... And Christine...”

“But WE played with them ... You and I together ... You were always there. The first time that you touched my breasts ... The first time you touched my pussy, I knew exactly what you wanted. I knew that you loved me and that you would always love me.”

“True ... Just as you have always loved me.”

“You wanted to make me feel good--”

“It’s complicated ... Making you feel good makes me feel good.”

“No, Will, it’s really very simple ... You making me feel good physically, it makes you feel good physically--”

“Isn’t that what I just said?”

“No, you said it was complicated, but it isn’t. It’s really, really simple. We are not separate, we are part of the same.”

“Okay...”

“You have true empathy for me, as I do for you. We’re unbreakable. You feel pain when I feel pain and pleasure when I feel pleasure. So for us a gift to the other is always returned.”

“Of course.”

“Which is why, Will, in the beginning, you never asked for anything back--”

“Back?”

“Think about the very first times that we made love. It was me sitting on your lap. You with your fingertips on my breasts. Lying to me and telling me that they were perfect--”

“I never lied to you, ever.”

“You were telling me that I was beautiful and--”

“You were, and you are.”

“You were touching me over my dress and then under my dress. Touching the most sensitive parts of me and making them feel really good. Your actions were showing me that I was desirable while your words were telling me that I was beautiful. And perfect...”