Chapter 16

The heat continued after Nicole’s birthday party into the big swim meet weekend, making Eric’s shirt wet with sweat as he worked through Friday afternoon. Summer was past its halfway point and the grass and bushes had slowed down their growth noticeably. The weeds were going stronger than ever, though, filling every crack and sprouting up everywhere in flower beds no matter how hard they tried to stop them. He’d just spent the whole day with the gas trimmer cutting weeds back in the front gardens. An old man staying at the hotel had come to lecture him on how in his day they yanked the weeds out by hand, but he couldn’t help asking curiously about the trimmer and what kind of engine it had.

Eric got along alright with the landscaping guys earlier in the summer but lately they were calling him “pussy whipped”. They made the whip-cracking sound whenever he mentioned Esmie, or even if he just said he didn’t want to go drinking with them in the woods or whatever because he “had plans”. They all knew who the plans were with.

To him it was just boys being boys, he didn’t take it personally. He didn’t think it was a negative thing that he was devoted to a beautiful and kind girlfriend who was equally devoted back to him. Half of them weren’t even getting laid, and the few who had steady girlfriends were constantly paranoid that she was cheating on them, which Eric never worried about with Esmie. He even liked bowing down to her and calling her Queen, but if the guys knew about that they’d never let him hear the end of it.

Lately though, as August had begun, the teasing was a little nastier. They even mentioned his sister, which they hadn’t done before. Previously they’d never even seemed to know who she was, but now they teased Eric about Abby’s gangling appearance and awkwardness. They stopped just short of anything sexual or saying they’d heard she was a lesbian, for they knew Eric would have to crack their heads for that, but they razzed him about having a super-short girlfriend and a super-tall sister, or for Abby being all tough and scary for a girl, that kind of thing, stopping just short of fighting words.

It wasn’t just Eric, though, everyone in the group said they were getting bullied more now that Nicole had joined them and provoked the wrath of her old friends. It was clear that the lifeguard clique was pissed, and it was all very petty, but those guys ruled Summer Lake and apparently even the guys on maintenance would do their bidding. Half of Eric’s co-workers wanted to be lifeguards themselves next summer, “just for the trim” they’d say, but they wanted to be in good with the current lifeguards.

Eric didn’t mind that Nicole’s joining had brought this on the group. The girl was beautiful and rich, but she seemed to be getting bullied worse than any of them. Her former friends said such nasty, hurtful things whenever they saw her, and her cousin was kicking her ass and trying to find out if she was dating Abby. Eric thought that it didn’t make any sense to get so mad at Nicole for being a lesbian. If she was giving up her popularity and all of that to be bullied like this, being a lesbian must just be who she is, and nothing she could change. No one would just decide to go through this for the fun of it.

Sweaty from work, he went to his room for a shower. He’d hoped Esmie might be there for some surprise sex, it would hardly have been the first time, but he only found a note slid under the door for him to hurry up because Abby had a race at 3:30. That give him about 15 minutes, which was enough to clean up and change into loose black shorts and a red shirt before heading out to the terrace.

It was so crowded out there, and for a once not just old people, but there were plenty of teenagers. Half were in competitive swimsuits and the other half were spectators in summer clothes like him. Music blared over the sound system, something by Janet Jackson just to fill the gap in between races. Nick had set up the sound system, naturally, but gave over control to someone with the swim meet, and didn’t complain too much since it meant he could watch the races with his friends.

He found the group in the bleachers and sat down, kissing Esmie on the lips warmly.

“Oh hello Eric,” she said, “Finally. You almost missed your sister’s race.”

“This is her first real one right?” he asked.

“Yeah she’s only been in qualifying heats until now,” Nick said. Everyone had learned the basics of swim meets by this point in the summer.

He put his arm around Esmie and she leaned into his chest. This was the sort of stuff that got him called “pussy whipped”, cuddling with Esmie in public like a sugary-sweet Romeo, but he didn’t care.

He looked over to Lacey and Nick, who were sitting close but not hanging all over each other. Lacey still wore big sunglasses to hide her black eye.

“I wish you’d tell me who did it,” Eric couldn’t help saying to her.

“Oh don’t worry, it was girls, so your sister and Nicole will play Batwoman and get revenge.”

“Really as your boyfriend I should do something...” Nick said, and everyone started laughing. “Hey what’s so funny?”

“Hey everyone shut up, they’re announcing Abby’s race,” Esmie said.

The announcer came over the loudspeaker and called out the names of the swimmers, except Abby’s name wasn’t among them.

“Ummm I thought my sister was supposed to be in this race,” Eric said.

“She was,” Nick said, and they looked down to see Abby running from the line of swimmers over to her coach.

In over two months on the team, Abby had barely ever talked to Coach Fleetwood. There had been no need. She was always on time, she never acted up in practice, and her times were always fast. She felt the old shyness coming over her, even as she was filling with quiet anger.

“Ummm Coach, I’m not in the race?” she asked him, but the pot-bellied man just, who looked at her and shrugged.

“Problem with your paperwork.”

“That’s bullshit,” Nicole said, walking over quickly, “You guys recruited her, and let her swim all summer, and now you’re checking her paperwork?”

“It’s none of your business, Nicole,” Laura said, swooping in as they argued amid the jumble of Summer Lake swimmers standing around or sitting in folding chairs off the pool. “Go sit down.”

Abby couldn’t believe the pettiness, but she supposed if Laura had told Crystal and Gina to jump Lacey, this was actually downright ethical by comparison. She didn’t think it was fair for her to be punished this way, especially just for being Nicole’s friend, but fairness didn’t seem to be relevant when the Ballards were involved.

Abby heard the race start behind them. It had happened that fast, she was already out of one race of her five total remaining. She didn’t care if Summer Lake won the swim meet, but she would miss out on impressing the college coaches. As she heard the cheering of the crowd and the splashing of the swimmers, though, she began to feel sad. She missed competing for its own sake. It hurt to be by the pool, suited up, ready to go, but standing around like a spectator.

“If she doesn’t swim, I don’t swim,” Nicole said.

“You have to swim, Nicole,” Laura said, looking coldly at her cousin. The coach was looking at his feet. Abby wished he had a spine, but she supposed he didn’t want to get fired over family drama, and Laura was petty enough to do that to make that a real threat to him.

“I’m 18 at midnight, I don’t have to do jump on your command anymore.”

Laura smirked. “My, my. You guys really must be girlfriends, then.”

Nicole looked to Abby. She thought Nicole looked upset, and maybe a little bit scared. “It is none of your business, Laura,” Nicole said in a strained voice. Abby was proud of her for not denying it, like she would have before, but she was terrified of what would happen next.

“Fine,” Laura said, “Neither of you will race. Take them off their races, coach.”

The coach went white. With the way the meet was scored, losing two girls who were sure to win multiple races was about the equivalent of shooting the team in the foot. But he gave a sigh and went to the judge’s stand to make the updates. Everyone had Summer Lake did what the Ballards told them to do.

“This is pathetic even by your standards, Laura,” Nicole said.

“Shut up, dyke. You’re the one who refused to race.”

Laura inched toward her cousin but Abby put her hand out, stopping her. It would hardly do to brawl right here at the swim meet with hundreds of people watching.

“So you’re just going to have Summer Lake lose the swim meet to spite me? What’s Uncle Mitch going to say?”

“It was his idea,” Laura said, glaring at Nicole. “But you’re the one causing this to happen, Nicole. You’re being a drama queen right now.”

Abby stood between them now. She’d never seen Nicole so mad, not even when they’d fought each other earlier in the summer. “Baby, it’s not worth it,” she whispered. If anyone could hear it would only be Laura, and they’d all but admitted to their relationship anyway.

“You’re really going to not race over her? Stanford will hear about this,” Laura said.

Abby hoped, perhaps irresponsibly, that this would get her kicked off the Stanford team and steer Nicole toward a future Abby could share with her, even if it was a non-name school that probably would hold their careers back. Still, it seemed unlikely that even an elite college would rescind a scholarship because a student didn’t swim a few races in a rich kid swim meet over the summer.

“Whatever,” Nicole said, “They’ll only hear what you tell them.”

“Yeah and think about whether I tell them you sat out because of muscle spasms, or because you’re a dyke.” Laura said with nastiness in her voice. With all the noise of the crowd during a race, no one could overhear.

“If that’s what you want to do to your own family, Laura,” Nicole said, sounding defeated. “If we’re not gonna get to race, let’s go get lunch, Abby.”

Abby followed her automatically in solidarity, although she was far from certain about the situation. Laura stood there watching them go with hands on hips and a smug expression on her face.

Nicole signaled to their friends in the bleachers who looked very confused but got up quickly to follow them over to the concession area which was not overly crowded at the moment because a race was underway.

“What the hell’s going on?” Lacey asked, “Aren’t you supposed to be in that race, Abby?”

Abby explained the situation as concisely as she could.

“Geeze,” Nick said, “That’s pretty ridiculous.”

“It’s how my family is,” Nicole said, “My other cousin wanted to go to veterinarian school instead of medical school after college, and they made his life hell until he got back in line, cutting off his credit cards and even getting his car repossessed. Over wanting to be a vet! They’ll bully all of you guys and disown me to keep me from being ... you know. They have no shame.”

Everyone nodded.

“Well I’ll get us some food at least,” Esmie said, “Everyone’s usual orders?”

“Nah get me and Nicole ice cream and potato chips,” Abby said, “If we’re not needed on the swim team why keep up a training diet?”

Nicole smirked. “Ummm we are still aspiring Olympics swimmers, babe,” she said, “Better get us chicken salads.”

Abby sighed and agreed. She felt completely deflated to not be competing, like there was no point to anything now. She suddenly felt depressed from the guilt of sitting around when she should be competing. It was one thing to miss a competition due to an injury, that was frustrating, but it was an inevitable part of sports. This was a completely unnecessary situation created by people behaving more awfully than she’d thought people could possibly behave, and it was all because she and Nicole loved each other, which should have been nobody’s business but their own.

“So what are you gonna do?” Lacey asked.

Abby looked to Nicole. “I dunno,” her girlfriend said, “I mean this hurts Abby more than it hurts me, unfortunately. She’s younger and not on a college team yet. Maybe I should go apologize and kiss ass. That will get her back on the schedule.”

“No,” Abby said quickly, “We can’t let them win.”

“Well?” Nicole said, looking to Nick, the brain of the group.

“I mean, it’s the classic ethical dilemma. Take a moral stand and suffer, or compromise your principles and prosper. Thomas More chose to be executed rather than swear an oath to Henry VIII which he found to be immoral. Edmund Burke says that human progress comes from compromise and barter, and Machiavelli even goes so far as to say that leaders are required to compromise their own principles in order to be successful.”

“Uh honey, just say if Nicole should go apologize or not,” Lacey said, and everyone giggled.

“There are no easy answers!” Nick said, “Personally I’d probably do whatever got me the best result. Making yourself miserable so you can stay morally true just leaves you miserable it’s not like your tormentors will appreciate your morality, they’ll probably just think you’re a sucker. But if you do what it takes for you to be able to succeed, you lose ideological purity, but at least you’re succeeding. You can’t eat a moral victory. But then again I’m a pussy.”

“Hey, I’m not a pussy,” Eric said, “Life’s not fair so you gotta do what you gotta do to win.”

“That’s what I said,” Nick said.

“But you used like twenty times more words, baby,” Lacy said, and hugged him, and everyone laughed again.

Esmie came back and plopped down the food on the table, looking like she was about to cry.

“What’s wrong?” Eric asked immediately.

“Ummm nothing,” Esmie said.

“Come on, tell us,” Eric said, putting his arm around her. Abby had gotten so used to the affection between her brother and that girl. Esmie was great, and Eric had said it was just a summer romance, but that had been early in the summer. She still hadn’t found time to talk to her twin to make sure things weren’t getting out of hand, things were just happening too fast. In fact, what if that was why Esmie looked so crushed? Well no, she’d gone to get food, not take a pregnancy test.

“Uhhh,” Esmie said, probably realizing she wasn’t fooling anyone, “My boss caught me taking our food out the back door. He said I had to pay for it or get fired. And if I do it again I’m fired no matter what.”

“That’s bullshit! Doesn’t everyone get to take food for their friends?” Lacey asked.

“Yeah,” Esmie said, “That’s the only reason I did it. It’s against the rules, but nobody gets in trouble as long as you do it in moderation and only take stuff that’s already made and sitting out.”

“Want me to talk to him?” Eric said. Abby thought her brother was searching for anything he could say to help his girlfriend.

“What are you gonna do, threaten to beat him up?” Lacey asked.

“Aww well, thanks baby,” Esmie said, more diplomatically, “But it really is against the rules, I guess. Anyway I’ve already saved up a lot of money this summer, I can afford to buy my friends lunch.”

“We’ll pay you back,” Abby said, but Esmie refused. The group ate hungrily. They hadn’t really come to a conclusion about the swim meet, but sending her girlfriend back to grovel and pretend to not be her girlfriend seemed very distasteful to Abby. She hated to miss out on showing off in front of college coaches, but for all that Summer Lake hyped up this swim meet, it was a glorified exhibition and she’d have chances to shine in her senior year back home.

“Well, this is a bummer,” Eric said, “I was looking forward to seeing you win. Both of you.”

Abby found herself smiling, proud that her brother was becoming so accepting of Nicole. “Well, like you say, life’s not fair,” she said, “Let’s do something fun on our own and not let them ruin our day.”

“We could stalk Crystal and Gina, or my cousin, and get some revenge if we get them alone,” Nicole said.

“Well that’s appealing,” Abby said, “I meant wholesome fun though.”

“We could go driving in Nicole’s car,” Lacey said, “Country cruising.”

“What’s that?” Abby asked.

“Where you just drive around aimlessly on the backroads,” Lacey said.

Everyone looked to Nicole. “Yeah, why not?” she said. “The car’s actually in fucking Laura’s name so she might think to take it back, but until then we can have fun with it.”

“Your family doesn’t mess around huh?” Nick said, “We could wreck the car. Get her in trouble with insurance.”

Nicole laughed. “Save that idea for if they don’t cave soon. It will probably totally freak them out that I’m actually sticking up for myself for once and split instead of giving in to their demands.”

“Well then come on everyone,” Abby said, “Let’s all have a good time tonight.”

Nicole asked everyone if they wanted to go north or south. They all wanted to go north.

“What even is north of Summer Lake?” Nicole asked.

“Canada,” Abby said.

“We’re not going to Canada!” Nicole said and everyone laughed at her for being high-strung.

Esmie sat in back in Eric’s lap. Eric had complained the first time that this was unsafe, but it was a BMW with fancy bucket seats up front, which meant that with six people, someone had to sit in someone else’s lap in the back row.

Nicole drove with liberal application of the accelerator. It was all pine trees now out the window. The road was straight and narrow, but still with a yellow dashed line down the center so it wasn’t a true boondocks road.

“Why do they even build roads here? There’s not even houses or stores! Just a bunch of stupid trees!” Esmie whined. Saying dumb stuff to make people laugh was one of her moves in the group, she and Lacey did it in equal shares.

No one laughed though, her brother just said, “There is still commerce up here. Mostly logging, some iron mines still. And people need to travel between towns.”

No one seemed to be in a laughing mood. Esmie didn’t mind. She felt lousy too with the way things were going. Summer was supposed to be fun, breezy romances, goofing around with your friends, long aimless nights of laughing and hanging out. They were certainly having great summer fun as friends when it was just the six of them, but the bullying was intense. She couldn’t believe how mean Nicole’s family was being to them, between Lacey getting jumped and the nonsense just now at the swim meet.

It felt weird to Esmie that she was in this situation, standing by her lesbian friends. Back in Alabama, she had never met a gay person. Of course, no one would admit to it there. She supposed she thought lesbians were creepy and tried to get over on straight girls like her, but just knowing Abby and now Nicole had dispelled that. They were good people, valuable friends, they never made her feel uncomfortable. She wished things weren’t so dramatic, but they were, and she was going to stand by her friends. The group was powerful, as Abby said.

They listened to Abby and Nicole’s moody teenage girl music, some band called The Cure, as the trees raced by outside the window. She sank back into Eric’s chest and felt safe and relaxed.

They saw a sign on the highway for “Scenic Vista” and everyone yelled for Nicole to follow the arrow. They’d already been driving for almost an hour and were tired of sitting in the car, even Esmie. It was nice and intimate on Eric’s lap, but after so long it was getting just a little bit uncomfortable.

“Oh no, it’s a dirt road!” Nicole said after a few quick turns onto progressively narrower lanes.

“So?” Abby said, sitting next to her in front.

“I don’t think BMWs can drive on dirt roads,” she said.

Everyone cracked up laughing and yelled at them to shut up, but she was laughing too.

“Baby, it’s fine, it hasn’t rained in at least a week, the ground’s dry as a bone,” Abby said, putting her hand over onto Nicole’s leg. “Just drive slowly until you get the feel for it.”

“Don’t worry you won’t turn into a redneck just from driving down one dirt road,” Lacey said.

“Yeah the BMW will inoculate you,” Nick joked.

Nicole gave an annoyed sigh, but by now Esmie was pretty sure she knew this was just good-hearted ribbing from the group and wasn’t offended. She drove slowly at first and was kicking up some dust, but Esmie knew that just meant the road was nice and dry. There was no shortage of dirt roads back in Alabama.

“We’ll have to go through a car wash on the way back,” Nicole said, “Like seriously. My family will be pissed if I bring back the car all covered in dirt.”

“Yeah that’s a worse offense in the Ballard family than being a lesbian,” Esmie teased, and everyone giggled.

“It kind of is,” Nicole said, “Well not really, but appearances are everything in my family. We have to be so perfect all the time. I was, until this summer.”

“You still are perfect, baby,” Abby said, then shamelessly kissed Nicole’s cheek.

It would be easy for Esmie, as a poor Mexican girl, to dismiss Nicole’s problems. And she was sure that as a poor Mexican from Alabama she had it worse than the rich girl. No one would argue that, though, and it didn’t change the fact that Nicole’s family put a lot of bullshit on her too. This wasn’t a race to see who had it the worst.

“I’m glad you’re being yourself, Nicole,” Esmie said.

Everyone sat quietly for a while as the road meandered through the thick woods, the dirt lane barely wide enough for the BMW. Finally they came to boulders blocking the way and saw bright blue daylight up ahead so they got out and ran up the last bit of the hill to a brushy clearing at the top.

The hill wasn’t even all that high but it offered a sweeping view of the north woods sprawled out into the horizon. This seemed to be the highest point for dozens of miles in any direction, they could see nothing but flat woods stretching off endlessly.

“Wow this place is flatter than Abby,” Lacey said.

“Note to self, murder Lacey,” Abby said with a grin.

“Can you see Summer Lake from here?” Esmie said, looking out. It was all green trees and hundreds of lakes as far as she could see.

For once even Nick didn’t know the answer to a question, so they all looked but there was no way to see even something as big as the Summer Lake lodge from this distance and angle. The lakes themselves were just blue dots on the vast green expanse.

Lacking anything better to do, the group stayed up on the hilltop for a while. Nick and Lacey were off sitting on a boulder on one side, and Eric and Esmie found a fallen log on the other and sat on it, cuddling up quickly.

“You’re so quiet, Eric,” she said to him.

“Oh um, sorry Queen,” he said, “Just didn’t have anything to say.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Fine, I guess,” he said, “A little worried for Abby, because of all the swim meet stuff.”

“Yeah,” Esmie said, “You really care about her huh?”

“Well she’s my sister,” Eric said, “And my twin.”

She thought for a while, trying to figure out what he was thinking. She thought something was eating him up, something he wasn’t saying. “Are you worried about not being with her in the fall? If we go off together?”

They were alone now, with Abby and Nicole at the middle of the big clearing holding hands, well out of earshot.

“Yeah, it would be abandoning her,” Eric said, “Other than that I’m really looking forward to going away with you.”

Esmie smiled. “It’s hard for me too, thinking about not seeing my family for a while. But it’s not like we’re going in the witness protection program. We’ll stay in touch ... letters, that kind of thing, and send money. And when you’re 18 in a year it will be easy, you’ll have a job and we can even get married, if that doesn’t freak you out.”

“No,” Eric said with some intensity in his voice, “It doesn’t.”

“Cause then I’d be your wife and you’d be an adult, legally we could do what we wanted. It’s a fact. We could go live near my parents, or Abby, and be in their lives. I think they’d accept it.”

Eric nodded, taking her word as the irrefutable truth.