Chapter 21

Well, when I got back to Isbard, there was great excitement and as near chaos as could be managed by a bunch of elderly Master Wizards. Of course, Master Wizard Humbolt called every one of the members of the ruling council and invited them to the meeting where I was going to relate everything that I accomplished and had happened to me while I was visiting Hell.

Once everything settled down and Master Wizard Marzil had made a short speech about how it was possible for them to send me to Hell and return me in as hale and hearty a condition as I was when I left for Hell. That was where I found out that I was from a different universe than this one containing Isbardia. At this stage, it was only possible to send and return someone from Hell if he had come from a different universe.

Three of the Master Wizards tried to interrupt him with comments, but they were ignored. None of those three believed that I had really visited Hell, and that this had to be some sort of silly hoax. None of those three were sufficiently important to get away with disputing him, so he saved them embarrassment by simply ignoring them. I had to mentally congratulate Master Wizard Marzil on being a superb politician.

I was then called on to submit my report to the council, and I told them everything that had happened in Hell, except that I did not go into detail about the sex romp with Jean. I figured that was none of their business. Everybody was amazed that I had actually talked to the Devil and found him to be a very pleasant conversationalist.

Some of the audience did not understand how I could hold a rational conversation with the epitome of evil. I explained that objection away by saying that I was saving my existence by not arguing with the Devil, but by going along with his wishes as long as I did not contribute to more pain for anyone. If that were my defense, how could I justify my rape of Jean?

I pointed out to the people who wondered about that what Jean had said to me about the Devil punishing her if I did not agree to have sex with her. I refused to go into the matter beyond that statement, and Master Wizard Humbolt supported my position on the subject.

We then spent some time in discussing how we were going to stop the Devil from continuing his assault on our galaxy. We certainly needed more information on the Devil, and I should take advantage of his implied invitation to visit him any time I could. I don’t think that anyone of them realized the potential danger I was setting up for myself if I did go back, so I just let that part of the situation ride.

Master Wizard Humbolt did point out something that had not been reported in the meeting, but it would be impossible for me to return to Hell in less than 14 days because some of the preparation for the trip took that long. The reason that there was not that delay the first time I went was because a lot of preparation had been done before I “volunteered” to make the trip. This time, that had not been done, and we would simply have to wait until all of that sort of thing could be done before my next trip. Besides, I had not yet volunteered to return to Hell, and my complete cooperation was the number one requirement!

I was immediately bombarded with requests that I agree to go back, but I simply refused to give them an answer until I had considered all of the ramifications of a return trip to Hell.

Finally I managed to escape the meeting and be transported back to Truth where I could see my friends and relax from the pressure that I had faced in my meeting with the Devil.

I told my entire story this time, including my sexual experience with Jean. That was the part that Ettet was the most interested in. Anyway, after I finished there was the expected barrage of questions and comments. The most interesting question from my point of view was whether or not other people could be extracted from Hell by the technique used on me? Of course, I didn’t know the answer to that question, but I sure was going to ask Master Wizard Marzil about it.

The next day I was asked to return to Isbard if I was interested in making another trip to Hell. Since I was the only possible candidate, I was asked if I would be interested in the position of ambassador to Hell? Wow, that was a question that I had never expected, and I was no sure of my answer. I really needed more information before I could answer the question, so I jumped to Isbard to discuss the possibility with Master Wizards Humbolt and Marzil.

It turned out that what they wanted from me was someone who could convey messages back and forth between our galaxy and Hell. Okay, I could handle that, but I was not going to be the one who set policy—that had to come from Master Wizard Humbolt and the ruling council.

I was finally flattered into accepting the job, but I insisted on a new landing point. I was not going back to that insane asylum! We finally agreed to having them set me down in that park with all of the statues of the Devil. The point here was that they had to have a specific target for a landing point; otherwise, the technique being used to transport me would not work. I was agreeable to that unless the Devil had a better place for me to enter Hell. If he preferred another location, that was okay with me, so long as it was not in that building where I first showed up in Hell.

I was willing to make one more trip to visit the Devil if He was agreeable. I thought that I had made a good impression on Him during my first visit, and I might get some useful concessions from him if I worked things properly. That would have to wait to see how our relationship developed.

We settled that I would jump back to Hell in 15 days and ask for an audience with the Devil. Everything else depended on how He reacted to that request. Until that time, I would no longer go into the field, but would occupy an office in the headquarters building in Isbard during working hours, but I would transfer back to be with my friends in Truth every evening at the end of my “shift.”

There was some disappointment with my new job from Ed and Bill, but there was really no choice if I were to become the first ambassador to Hell. Ed and Bill were going to have to find another person to fill out their trio. I knew of no one to recommend for that job simply because I did not know personally that many Heroes. I did give my lightning amulet to Ed and took in its place one of the charms that were being issued to the entire Hero Guild. Actually, I figured that I would never again need such an amulet if I became a full time ambassador.

I stopped by Jake’s Tavern to say a tentative goodbye to Jake and my other friends that I had there. Of course, I was not allowed to leave the saloon until I related the story of my original trip to Hell, and especially what I thought of the Devil now that I had met him personally.

It took three days for Ed and Bill to find a third member for their trio which was now led by Ed. The third member was another Barbarian like Ed, but Bill was okay with that, so they started making trips to level #5 to break in Sam, the new member of the trio. Sam was given Ed’s money increasing amulet so that he could feel more like a member of the trio. He was also issued a Demon Bane as his main weapon.

I spent my time at my office in Isbard learning as much as I could hold of the customs and practices of Isbardia so that I would not be caught short if I had to make a snap decision while in conversation with the Devil. That was the thing that I feared the most—I was scared to death, as the saying goes, by the thought of saying or doing something that would give the Devil an extra toehold on a part of Isbardia and/or the galaxy. Dammit, for all I knew, the Devil might already control the rest of this universe and was just using the Milky Way as a playground.

At the end of the 15-day preparation period, I showed up in Isbard prepared to make my faithful jump into Hell as the spokesman for Isbardia. I knew that the Devil was going to remember everything I said and did in Hell and use it against me if I screwed up in any way. No matter how friendly the Devil seemed to be, He was still the Devil, and bound to take advantage of every mistake I made. I figured that the Devil was basically a petulant and willful child who showed all of the aspects of a bully. That was how I prepared myself mentally to face the Devil and not give away the store.

Just in case of trouble, I showed up in Hell dressed in my protective gear and carrying my weapons. I was afraid that I would not be ignored like I was the last time I visited Hell and wanted to have at least a chance of defending myself against a physical or magical attack.

Fortunately, nothing like that happened, and the park was completely deserted when I materialized in it. I was close to the palace and could see the front steps the moment I gained full use of my senses. I could see the goat man greeter at the front door. As nearly as I could tell, he looked like the same goat man whom I had talked to on my previous visit. Dammit, I was ready to kick myself for not getting his name at that time. I promised myself not to forget this time.

I don’t know if it made any difference, but I waved at the doorman as I walked toward the palace. When I reached him, I said to the doorman, “Good day, Sir. I think that you were the one I talked to when I was here about 2½ weeks ago. I am James Bonner, and I would like to speak with the Devil if that can be arranged.”

“Yes, Mr. Bonner, I recognize you from your previous visit. My name is Ulrick. Please excuse me while I call to see if the Master can see you now. He did say that I was to interrupt Him at any time that you showed up.” Ulrick turned off his universal translator while he made the phone call. It was only moments later that Ulrick said to me, “The Master is very pleased that you have returned. An escort, the same one that you had previously, has been dispatched to deliver you to His location.”

It was less than five minutes later that the front door burst open and Jean came rushing to greet me. Of course, she was nude, as were all of the humans in Hell, and I could feel the pressure from her hard nipples as she embraced me. “Oh, Jim, I am so glad to see you!” She slacked off with her embrace to plant a kiss upon my lips. “Come on, I am in such a hurry to get you to the travel cart that I can hardly wait.” Jean pushed me into a bench seat in the back of the cart before running around to plop down on the remainder of that same seat. “Driver, you know where to go, but don’t bother to hurry too much. I plan to entertain Mr. Bonner on the way to the meeting room.”