Chapter 14: Journey’s End

YOU WOULD SCARCELY KNOW there had been a battle the next morning. A crane had removed the SUVs from the tops of the beanstalks and the stalks themselves had been cut down and pieces were sold as souvenirs. There was even a figurine of me that had been carved from the woody stem. How sweet. A road crew had been out to repair the damage I’d done to the highway trying to stop Valentine and his crew. You’d never see that kind of rapid response and repair work in the real world. That should convince anyone I was dreaming. But the hunk whose arm I was holding had done his best to convince me I wasn’t dreaming the previous night.

Traffic was the heaviest I’d seen since coming to Victoriana. A steady stream of cars passed the convenience store gas station hardware grocery espresso stand. We moved the wagons to stage ourselves to move out and give people access to the gas pumps and store. Dale was inside pulling shots of coffee with Misty’s assistance. Amos led our group out of the parking area and put on all speed to join the traffic to East Love. His tractor and hay wagon were the slowest vehicle in our procession. We had a lot of debate regarding who should go next and ended up with Hunter’s tribe following with their horse trailers. Then Misty jumped into the car and I led the circus wagons out in my Fairlane. The last in line were the diner truck and the ghost car. The ghosts would all arrive after dark, but Raymond and Joan were driving. Dale and Og said they would catch up in a few hours. We crossed the bridge and headed out of the little hamlet toward East Love.

With the speed of our convoy and necessary stops for animals and humans to relieve themselves, it took a long time to reach the festival.

Mile 1814

In fact, it was nearly dinner time when our convoy wound its way into town and circled the palace grounds. After making one full trip around the structure, which I was sure had once been a county courthouse, I pulled in to the portico where Regis and Regina Rex were standing on the steps. Mr. Hakuryu followed in his circus wagon while Freedom parked on the street. The rest of the convoy was parked around the square and were already setting up various acts with acrobats and jugglers. The food truck must have been cooking on the entire journey from the convenience store. Raquel and Bernard were serving food out the side of the truck as quickly as they could. Amos and his clan were set up for a square dance on one side of the grounds while Hunter and his tribe created a village on the other side and gave kids horseback rides.

And those were only the acts and people who were in our convoy. Dozens of booths and acts were set up on or near the grounds. Somehow, Joan and Raymond had set up an entire dining room area in the street and were advertising a ‘Dine with the Ghosts’ adventure, starting at nightfall.

Misty, Princess, and I got out of the Fairlane with Roadkill and Shasta taking up positions on either side of us. We met Mr. Hakuryu and Baron as they got out of their truck. Freedom and Scarecrow joined us as well. I bowed to the Sovereign and swept off my mortarboard.

“Your Sovereignty, I am pleased to return to you in the company of your children, Princess Bridget Rex and Baron Federico Rex. Accompanying us on this trip are the giant Freedom, the fixer Scarecrow, and the dragon Mr. Hakuryu, as well as my companions, Misty, Roadkill, and Shasta,” I said with all the formality I could muster.

“As promised, Wizard Warrior Jackie, you shall be rewarded up to half the sovereign lands of Victoriana for returning the jewel of our crown to us,” the sovereign said. He swept down the stairs to embrace his son.

“Not so fast, Dad,” Baron said. “Jackie has been a kind escort and bodyguard, but it was my sister Princess Bridget Rex, who rescued me by defeating the dragon in the Last Battle. Therefore, it is Princess who deserves the reward of half the sovereignty. And in grateful appreciation of her heroism, I, Baron Federico Rex, heir to the sovereign and established successor, grant to Princess Bridget Rex the other half of our sovereignty that the Land might be united under her beneficence.”

I was pretty sure Hakuryu had coached him on that speech. I wondered what they’d been doing on the journey.

“You walked right into that one, Ferdinand,” Pop said.

Pop!? My head snapped away from the family reunion and up a step to where Mam and Pop were standing. Misty and I rushed them to give them a big hug.

“What are you doing here?” I asked. “And how did you get here?”

“Well, hello to you, too,” Mam said. “What kind of greeting was that?”

“I mean ... I’m so happy to see you, but I’m so confused! I never expected to see you in my dream.”

“Dream? You aren’t dreaming, girl,” Pop said. “We got here by one of the usual ways. Over the mountain pass with a stop at the diner for a chili burger and fries. Then we drove straight here. What you were supposed to do.”

“But how do you know the Rexes?” I pressed.

“Oh, Mam and I met them years ago, when we were on the great motorcycle rally around the country.”

“But that was like ... a long time ago. Were Regis and Regina babies?”

“No, no, no. Nothing like that. Time just moves at a different pace here than it does back home. Why, next time you chance to arrive here, you’ll have aged by the time you were away and the people here will scarcely seem to have aged at all.”

That made me stop and think. First, it seemed to be expected that I’d leave the Land and go back to our reality. Second, no matter how long I stayed away, when I came back, people here would scarcely have aged. I reached back and felt Freedom’s reassuring hand in mine.

“Mam, Pop, I’d like you to meet my boyfriend, Freedom. We met a few days ago, but I’ve fallen head over heels in love.”

“Oh, dear,” Mam said. “Oh! It’s nice to meet you, Freedom. This complicates things. Very complicated.”

“Friends, we need to go make things official and let people start partying,” Regis said. “Come and join us on the stage for the succession ritual.”

The fanfare that welcomed us sounded a lot bigger than the dozen or twenty instruments I could see clustered together. The sovereign’s short minion, Clark, hurried us over to where we were to walk up the aisle to the platform on which Baron and Princess’s parents and my grandparents were waiting. Misty and I flanked Baron and Princess with Roadkill and Shasta beside us and Freedom and Hakuryu behind us. The three armorers—Tomas, Renee, and Oscar—who had outfitted us before the adventure rushed up to us with brushes and damp cloths to clean our clothes as we stood there. I personally thought Renee spent a little too much time making sure Freedom’s chest and stomach were clean.

Then it was time to process to the front.

You know that last scene in the original Star Wars where Han, Luke, Chewy, R2-D2, and C-3PO get their big reward and the band plays. Well, George Lucas got it right. He just hung medals on their necks and everyone applauded. Run the credits. The reality was not nearly as fun. I swear that Regis spoke for half an hour about the Land and its friends from the other side. He spoke of the importance of unity and kindness in going forward. He scarcely mentioned the kidnapping and the Caesars’ attempt to usurp the throne. I noted, however, that a gaunt man not far away looked plenty upset and furtively looked around. I began fingering my cords as I watched him and almost missed bending down to get my own medal hung around my neck.

Then there was the big investiture and transfer, making Princess the sovereign-elect. Regis also announced his support for Freedom’s quest to return to his mother with Hakuryu and his granting of the request of his daughter and son to go with them. Nothing was mentioned about me.

Finally, we cleared the stage and various acts took over entertaining. Raymond and Joan announced the opening of the Dine with a Ghost adventure and I took Freedom and Misty and the animals over to where they were set up so we could have dinner.

It was quite lovely, even though I wasn’t sure where Joan was doing her cooking. People saw the Warrior Wizard dining with the ghosts and flocked to the improvised dining room. It looked like they would be very successful. In another part of the festival, Hunter’s minstrel was singing the Ballad of the Warrior Wizard after which Little Luke told of his adventure on Thunder Mountain. Just then, another man stepped up and told an equally riveting tale about the battle with the werewolves and I recognized hapless Charlie. There was another verse of the ballad.

But people weren’t finished embarrassing me. Dale told the story of the taming of the ogre and punctuated it by kissing the big oaf. Then there was the basketball battle with the giant, followed by the Last Battle at the convenience store. With each telling, the stories were embellished a little more until you wouldn’t have recognized the actual event from the ballad that was being sung.

The revelers partied late into the night. It was well after midnight when I was finally able to slip into the wagon with my giant.

I woke up suddenly at about 3:30 in the morning. Freedom was breathing deep and easy. But I had a sudden feeling that things weren’t right. I slipped out of bed, careful not to disturb my boyfriend, and pulled on my cap and gown, belting on my sword and dagger. Ever so quietly, I opened the door to the wagon and slipped out into the darkness. Even Roadkill, lying across the doorway, didn’t stir. I tried to count back however many days it had been since the full moon werewolf battle, but lost track. Either we were in the dark phase or it hadn’t risen yet. Regardless, it was black as pitch out. That made me wonder where the streetlights were. There had been lots of light all evening. I looked over toward where the ghost party had been and could see faint shapes of them hovering motionless in the air. Something was definitely wrong.

I started working my way around the perimeter of the large square and saw the playground from which Baron had initially been abducted. It looked normal, but one swing was rocking back and forth as if someone had just left it. At the corner of the square, where there was a cannon, the two policemen who were honor guards were slumped over.

I scooted on around the building, as a fog began to creep in from all around the square. I hurried toward my car, still parked with Mr. Hakuryu’s wagon under the buidling’s portico. And there I saw him: The gaunt figure I’d earlier identified as August Caesar. He was just standing up from putting something under my car. Then he turned to the front door of the palace, raised his arms, and started chanting.

No good could come of this. I needed to break up whatever spell he was working on. I didn’t have my basketball, but Roadkill’s ball was in my pouch. I gripped it firmly and let it fly as if I were pegging it from first to third. It hit him, but he shrugged it off as if it were a fly that buzzed him. I pulled my slingshot out and began firing clay pellets at him, watching them bounce off some kind of invisible wall surrounding him. Still, he was chanting and the fog was getting closer. I needed to get closer and get personal. I reached for a bean, but I’d used the last of them at the gas station. Instead, I felt the feather Tomas had given me. What the hell could I do with a feather? Then I thought that so far, I’d been trying to attack and was just bouncing off as he kept chanting. I needed to distract him.

I held the feather in the palm of my hand and blew softly toward Caesar.

“Chatouiller,” I whispered. The feather drifted toward the wizard and slipped silently through his wards. It started with his ears. I saw him twitch a little, but he didn’t break off the chant. The feather circled his neck and he shrugged his shoulders, but still chanted. The fog was almost to us now. I urged the feather on. It crept up from beneath his chin and began to tickle his nose. It took a moment as he struggled to keep chanting and then suddenly sneezed. The fog drifted back as if blown by his sternutation. He jerked around toward me and the wards fell away. I started toward him but a gesture had me fighting against a wall of gelatin.