Chapter 10: Ghost Town

“OH, THAT’S SO COOL!” I said. “You did the whole town!” I realized now what I’d been missing on our walk. If I’d paid attention to the animals, I’d have known much more quickly. There were no smells. The coffee shop didn’t smell like coffee. The bakery didn’t smell like anything baking. And there was an entire populated dining room just across the lobby and not a whiff of food or cooking aroma. I wondered for an instant if the desk clerk was part of the display, but she had substance. I could remember her handling Misty’s credit card in the machine.

The look on her face was priceless.

“You like it?”

“Oh, yeah! It’s great! I’ve got to run upstairs and tell Misty and Princess. They’ll love it! Can we, like, actually go into the dining room and participate? Is it interactive?”

“Um ... I guess so. We can even serve food, but it will take me a few minutes to change to my cook outfit.”

“Sure, you go ahead. Let’s make a reservation for ... Let’s say 9:30. That will give me time to take a shower. See you then!” I always liked haunted houses. The fact they’d built an entire haunted town was just a knock-out. Roadkill, Shasta, and I took the stairs two at a time, all the way to the fifth floor.

I about died laughing when I walked into the room. Princess and Misty were shrunk up into a little ball together beside the bed. They were fixated on the wall across the room. I looked over there and saw a life-size scene playing out of a couple, apparently on their honeymoon. I had a feeling this could get racy.

“Isn’t this cool?” I asked.

“But ... They’re ... I mean...” Misty stuttered.

“Ghosts!” Princess blurted out. They turned and grinned at her, but didn’t leave their little area on the far side of the room.

“Yeah, neat, huh? It’s a whole ghost town. They’re all over. It’s better than that Haunted Mansion thing at Disney. It’s the whole town. We’ve got a reservation for dinner. I need a shower first.” I headed toward the bathroom.

“But but but ... There’s a body in the bathtub!”

“You’re kidding! Just freakin’ awesome!” I went into the bathroom and, just as they said, there was someone there. She wasn’t just a body, though. She was taking a bath. You could see the water dripping off of her as she washed, but the tub was dry. She looked startled when she saw me. “Carry on,” I said joyfully. “I’m just going to get a quick shower and then you can go back to what you were doing.” I turned on the water to get it the right temperature and stripped out of my robe, undies, boots, and socks. The water was perfect, so I stepped in. Sort of stepped on her, but I did say sorry. She scooted toward the end so I’d have room without standing in her. The shower made her flicker a little, which only enhanced the realism in my mind. The door opened and Misty stuck her head in.

“You’re really showering? In there? With her?” Misty croaked.

“Well, it’s not like she takes up any space. Look! I think she’s enjoying the water coming down.” Indeed, the image was lifting her face to the spray and had a look of bliss on her face. Man, the folks who put this together really got it! “I’m getting out. You want me to leave the water running?” I asked.

“I’m good!” Misty squeaked. “No. I mean. Just fine. I’ll just wait out here with Princess.”

I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. The towels were even warm. The girls didn’t know what they were missing by not jumping into this shower. I looked at the tub. The image was sitting back down in it. She was looking mournfully up at the shower head.

“I don’t really think I should just leave the shower on,” I said. “I bet most people just see you in here and freak out like Misty and Princess did. Man, what they were missing! Tell you what. I assume you all disappear at sunrise like you appeared at sunset. I’ll get up early and take another shower before sunrise. I don’t know who the model was for you, but you are gorgeous. Not that I’m into girls, understand, but I can appreciate what my eyes tell me.”

I’m not sure what I was thinking, talking to an image like that, but they were so real looking. It was just amazing. I dried and dressed and went out to join Misty and Princess. They were sitting on the bed with their eyes riveted on the tableau playing out before them.

“Come on, you two. You’ve got to see the dining room. There’s even a band playing. It might be a limited menu, though. I’m not sure if the girl usually cooks real meals,” I said, leading them to the door.

“Did you see what they’re doing over there?” Misty asked. “They’re undressing. I think they’re going to, like, screw or something.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m sure they’ll replay it if you miss anything fun.”

“Why are you so calm about all this?” Princess asked. “There are ghosts everywhere!”

“That’s what’s so neat. Just look at the detail. Head to foot! Disney does a lot of eye direction. You get so caught up in a face that you don’t really notice that there’s nothing there below the shoulders. I tell you, the person who created all this is a genius!”

“You mean it doesn’t bother you?” Princess asked.

“No. As soon as I figured out how to tell the real from the projections, it was all cool.”

“How do you tell?”

“Watch the animals. When we went to the desk, they were sniffing at the clerk all over. They completely ignore the ghosts. I assume there are cast members circulating in the scene to make it more realistic.” We entered the dining room.

“Warrior Wizard, it is a pleasure to welcome you to the banquet of the spirits. Please accompany me to your table.” We followed him as I continued to lecture Princess and Misty.

“See? Like this guy,” I said as I took hold of his shoulder, “is real and solid.” Roadkill stuck his nose up the guy’s butt and he involuntarily jerked.

“We’re so glad you are enjoying the show. We seldom have any living beings here with us,” the maître d’ said. “We’ve taken the liberty of ordering our house specialty for you.”

“As long as it’s not brains and guts, I’m fine with that. But don’t try to take advantage of us. That just won’t work.”

“Of course, Warrior Wizard.” He turned left, intent on maintaining the illusion of a busy dining room. However, when it came time to serve the food, he was the one who brought the tray and the girl from the desk, dressed as a chef now, set the dishes on the table. I held up my hand to stop Misty and Princess from diving in. Instead, I quickly flipped the gold cord over the maître d’ and pulled him to me.

“Now, kind sir,” I said standing. “I’d ask you to please place your hand on the pommel of my sword.”

“Yes, Warrior Wizard,” he said, obeying my command.

“In this crazy world we live in, we can’t be too careful. You know, I had to fight werewolves last night. So, I just want you to tell me precisely what is being served in our dinner and to affirm that it is safe to eat.”

“Really,” he sniffed. “We don’t poison our guests. This is a rustic lamb fricassee with tender chunks of lamb, greens, artichokes and a delicious Greek avgolemono sauce. It is served over a bed of mixed wild rice. My daughter is exceptionally proud of her cooking ability.”

“And you both have my sincere apologies for the doubt I cast. You just would not believe the week we’ve had. I do hope I’ll have a chance to talk to you again. I just love what you’ve done with the place.”

“Certainly, Warrior Wizard.” I released the cord of submission and he let go of my sword of truth. I sat and we dug into one of the most exquisite dishes I’ve ever eaten. Princess and Misty ate enthusiastically, if a little more distracted by all the characters around us. I was trying to figure out if any of the musicians were actors or if they were all projections. The music certainly seemed to be coming from the stage.

And that’s another thing that was different. We could hear voices from the other tables, but it was difficult to decide which table they came from. It was almost as if the sounds in the room were piped in. That had to be it. The maître d’ brought us a nice baklava and coffee for dessert.

“Please sit with us and tell us more about your whole setup,” I invited. He took a chair and everyone in the room seemed to turn to look at us.

“What can I tell you, Warrior Wizard? The story is long.”

“But this is such a wonderful place, it must be worth the story. Please, indulge us.”

“Very well. It started several years ago. An epidemic swept through the community and in a matter of a few weeks, we’d lost a third of our population to it,” he said. “Another third pulled up stakes and left, abandoning their homes and everything in them. Of the remaining third, nearly half have passed on in the intervening years and there have been no new arrivals.”

“How sad!”

“Yes. There are fewer than a hundred living souls in the town now. We were, frankly, devastated. None of us here have escaped unscathed, but all have lost people near and dear to them.” The desk clerk, still dressed as a chef, pulled a chair to our table, seeming to be as hungry for conversation as the man. “Most of the people in the community were related in some way—if you went back far enough—so, the losses cut deeply, emotionally and physically. This, by the way, is my daughter Joan. I’m Raymond.”

“Happy to meet you, Raymond. I’m Jackie. This is Princess and Misty. Joan, that was absolutely one of the best meals I have ever had. I hope you have enough business to merit your talents.”

“Thank you. There aren’t that many living people here to cook for, but I usually get a good meal in at least once a week,” she said. I automatically transposed what she said to mean ‘that many people living here.’ I was sure that was what she meant.

“Sorrow and loss will drive people to do things we wouldn’t have thought of otherwise. There weren’t enough of us left to support the businesses, and we had to close many of them that no longer had living owners. We were talking—those of us who were left—one Sunday after church, about what a ghost town we were living in. One thing led to another, and what you see is the result.”

It was an amazing story and I kept looking around for the gimmicks. Really hard to spot.

“Your engineer must be brilliant. This is the best I’ve ever seen. I have to ask, where are the projectors?” I said. He got a really puzzled look on his face and then a dawning of something. He reached over and took hold of my sword.

“I tell you this truthfully,” he said. “These are not projections. They are the ghosts of the people we lost.”

Maybe—just maybe—he could have surprised me more. I looked around the room and half a dozen people, obviously those among the living, had scooted their chairs closer to our table. Around them, the ghostly visages stood, grinning and waiting to see if I’d panic. There was a high-pitched whine and I looked first at Roadkill. He was fine. The whine was coming from Misty and Princess. Joan reached out and patted their shoulders. I’m not sure that comforted them.

“So, you’re...?”

“A necromancer,” he said. “Only I don’t do animating dead bodies. There is nothing a sorcerer can do to stop the deterioration of the flesh. But the spirits of our friends are here and lively, happy to have a chance to get together for a party when we have a guest. We try to make it an interesting show.”

“Oh, definitely,” I laughed, much to Misty and Princess’s amazement. “The woman in our bathtub was certainly putting on a show, and I think the couple in the reflected room were getting ready to do something pornographic.”