Ellie calls her friend Paige in accounting. “Want to go get lunch?”

“Oh, you know what, I can’t,” Paige says. “I’m working on this special project.”

“For work? We’re supposed to have the day off.”

“Not work work,” Paige says. “It’s ... it’s kinda hard to explain.”

“I’ve got time,” Ellie says. “Maybe I can help.”

Paige laughs.

“What’s so funny?” Ellie asks.

“Oh, nothing. It’s just sort of personal. An inside joke.”

“Tell.”

“I’d be too embarrassed.”

“Come on. We’ve known each other since we were ten. We wet our pants together in Girl Scouts. What could be more embarrassing than that?”

“Geeze—I’d forgotten about that. That was embarrassing.”

“So what’s this special project?”

“Okay, well ... it’s Mike and I’s anniversary in two weeks. A year since we first met.”

“That’s right—the blackjack thing the church put on.”

“Right. Vegas Night. I was one of the dealers, and he kept losing and losing and losing. Making one wild bet after another. Asking for an extra card even when he had blackjack. He was so impossible.”

“But it was for a good cause,” Ellie reminds Paige. “The victims of ... what was it?”

“I think I was the cause,” Paige says. “Anyway, he really made me laugh. ‘Hit me hit me hit me,’ he kept saying. ‘Oh, yeah, hit me again.’”

“Naughty boy,” Ellie says. “Sounds like he was after a good hard spanking.”

“Ha ha. Anyway, finally he ran out of tickets. And he asked me if he could have one back, so he could enter the end of the evening raffle.”

“What was the prize?”

“A trip to Vegas. Fitting, huh?”

“Did you give him back his ticket?”

“I did. I shouldn’t have, but he was so irresistible. He said if he won he’d take me to Vegas with him.”

“Did he win?”

Paige laughs. “No. But he took me to Vegas anyway.”

“I didn’t know that part of the story,” Ellie admits. “Wow, Vegas. Did he win there?”

“Um,” Paige says.

“What?”

“We never really left the hotel room. It was sort of like a honeymoon. Except without the marriage part.”

“Wow.”

“I know.”

“Mike is a sweetie. You should marry him. Go to Vegas on a real honeymoon.”

“He keeps asking me. He’s very persistent.”

“Don’t you want to marry him?”

“I do. Mostly. But I don’t want to rush into it. I don’t want one of those starter marriages.”

“Makes sense.”

“But if he asks me on our one-year anniversary, I might say yes.”

“Oh, Paige.”

“I know.”

“I don’t want to go to Vegas on the honeymoon, though. Been there, done that.”

“Where do you want to go?”

“I don’t know. A South Sea Island? Someplace with warm breezes and swaying palm trees, waterfalls and a midnight blue lagoon.”

“Sounds perfect,” Ellie says. “Marry me! Take me there!”

“Ha ha.”

“So what’s the special project?”

“Oh, right. It’s going to sound stupid.”

“Try me.”

“It’s a deck of cards.”

“Ah. In honor of your Vegas night. Fitting.”

“Right. It’s sort of a gag gift.”

“You mean like a marked deck or something?”

“Or something. I was just being cute.”

“So what’s special about it? Come on, spit it out!”

“Okay. Okay. You know how playing cards have pictures on them?”

“Sure. The king, the queen. The jacks and jokers.”

“No, you’re thinking of face cards. I mean on the backs.”

“Oh, right. Face cards.”

“Well there’s this Internet place that lets you pick your own picture, then they print up the deck.”

“Neat. So which picture did you pick? One of you and him, I suppose.”

“Well, I have one in mind, but it’s...”

“It’s what.”

“It’s sort of naughty.”

“How naughty?

“Very naughty.”

“Oh my! Are you like naked or something?”

“I’m a little embarrassed to say.”

“You have to tell me. We’ve come this far.”

“The idea is that these cards are sort of like coupons.”

“Coupons?”

“Yeah, like he can redeem them one at a time for certain ... favors.”

“Sounds interesting. But you haven’t told me what’s on the cards.”

“It’s a picture of us, of me, really, with Mike’s penis in my mouth.”

“Oh, Paige.”

“I know.”

“So you’re giving him a blow job?”

“I don’t like to call it that.”

“What do you call it?”

“A cock sucking.”

“Tom always calls it a blow job. Actually he calls it a bee-jay. He says, ‘Hey, babe, how ‘bout a little bee-jay.’ Or sometimes he says, ‘How ‘bout a little bee-jay action.’”

The line is quiet for a few seconds, then Ellie says, “So he can give you one of these cards in exchange for a free blow job. I mean cock-sucking.”

“Right.”

“How many cards are there?”

“Fifty-five. I guess there’s the full deck, plus three jokers. But that works out. I figure one for each week, one for his birthday, one for our ‘anniversary,’ and one ‘floater.’”

“That’s funny,” Ellie says. “Sound a little like it’s underwater—this ‘floater’ bee-jay. Have you ever done it underwater?”

“In the shower sometimes. That’s kind of fun—unless the hot water runs out.”

“Tom likes it in the shower. But a real waterfall might be better. Like on your tropical island.”

“Yes, an island would be nice. A waterfall would be nice.”

“So you have fifty-five different pictures of you giving him head. How did you get them?”

“No, there aren’t that many. And I’m just using the one. I think that’s all that’s allowed. In the one I’m thinking of, I’m looking up at him, and I think my eyes look really pretty, in a lewd but loving sort of way.”

“Mmm,” Ellie says. “You’ll have to show me this lewd but loving look sometime. Maybe you can teach it to me.”

“Ha ha.”

“So Mike took this picture?”