I was sitting at a table in the Student Union. It was the beginning of my last semester before graduation. I had my books with me, and I was trying to study. I glanced up and noticed a couple of my fraternity brothers walk in with some friends. They were second semester freshmen, so I didn’t really have much contact with them except at the frat house’s social functions. They took a table near me and set out their lunches.

I heard Charlie, one of the brothers, talking about his girlfriend, Maggie.

“I tell ya, it’s really getting to me,” he said. “She told me she’s slept with more than 20 guys. I knew about her long term boyfriends from high school, but...”

One of his buddies was trying to be supportive. “Why is that a problem? You know lots of guys who are male sluts. They will bang anything that comes their way. A girl expressing her sexuality is kind of a turn-on.”

“Before last night, I might have agreed with you,” said Charlie sadly. “But then I started doing the calculations.” He put his sandwich down and started using his hands to emphasize his points. “Okay, two serious boyfriends, she was with each of them about a year. I figure they had sex two or three times a week, call it 50 weeks for each. That’s 100 or 150 times boinking each one. Let’s say it’s closer to a hundred times with each guy. At least 18 other guys. One night stands, casual boyfriends, I don’t know. But let’s round up and call it an additional 20 guys, and say she fucked each of them four times. That’s another 80 times having sex.”

Another of his friends interjected, “Yeah, so she’s had more sex than you. What’s your point?”

Charlie looked distressed. “My point is this: say each guy had a six inch dick. Each time they fucked, the guy took, I don’t know, thirty strokes to get off? Fifty? It’s the math that bothers me. She has sex 280 times so far. Six inches times fifty strokes into her, equals 7,000 feet of dick sliding in and out of her pussy. I can’t help picturing over a mile and a quarter of dick having travelled up inside her, before I even got there.”

I saw the looks of near horror on all their faces as I packed up my books. I shook my head at Charlie’s idiocy as I walked away. I was already scrolling through my contact list, looking for Maggie’s name and number.

“Math nerds,” I thought to myself. “They really don’t appreciate the advantages of having a slutty girlfriend.”