Chapter 38

And then it was Wednesday. And it was 3:00 p.m. And I was at the Cartons; I had been able to get the rest of the week off; Henry could handle things until the following Monday. And Riley was there as I expected she would be, and she wasn’t alone as I had guessed she wouldn’t be. Rodney was with her, and so were eleven other people, twelve counting the one convicted murderer, me!

“So glad you could make it,” said Richard. “I know Briana was hoping you’d make it today. She’s resting right now. But she should be up soon.”

“Well, good. I expect that a new mom needs all of the rest she can get in the short run,” I said. “Quite a crowd here today.”

“Yes, well, your niece is very popular,” he said.

“I’m certain of that,” I said. Just then she came up to me.

“Adam,” said Riley.

“Yes, that would be me,” I said.

“I’ll leave you two to talk,” said Richard, wandering off to entertain the other guests, none of whom had so far said anything to me even though I knew them all. I had to think that that was because my ex-fiancée had influenced them to give us space, but I was only guessing; it could have been my general lack of positivity.

“So,” I said. “Is it time for the big talk?” she nodded.

“The back yard is shady. It’s warm today, but not too bad out back,” she said. I nodded for her to lead the way. I was being accommodating because if I’d said no to her proposal; she’d be knocking on my door sooner rather than later, and, often. Hence, we’d be getting her little meet up out of the way today.

“Thanks for being willing to talk to me,” she said. I nodded.

“Can I ask, does Richard know about ‘65?” I said.

“I don’t actually know, but I know you know that Briana does, so maybe,” she said.

“Hmm,” I said.

“I’m telling you straight,” she said. “I know you have a hard time believing anything I say, and with reason, I guess, but there will be no more lies or half-truths or any of it ever again.”

“Whatever,” I said. “So, whaddya want?”

“Peace in the valley, and...”

“And,” I said.

“Your affection,” she said. I started to laugh. She had apparently decided on the spot to wait me out. Her brow wrinkled and her lips parted; she actually looked quite sexy. I had to calm myself down. I so envied my miserable excuse of a brother. I decided to say so.

“You look real good,” I said. “I so envy my miserable excuse of a brother.”

“Adam, please. I know you have feelings for me. I have feelings for you too. Not the same kind as you for me, but feelings, strong feelings nonetheless,” she said.

“And since you put it out there, I will put it out there too. My sheets are still cold and my place is still a lonely place,” I said.

“I know,” she said. “And it kills me that that is so. I so need you to not be lonely. But for you to not be lonely you need someone to be with you, but...”

“But, for that to happen I have to forget you when it comes to the main thing, right? That’s what this talk is all about, right. A half dozen others have told me the same thing. I get it and I don’t know what to do about it. Actually, that’s wrong, I do know; I know there is nothing to do about it,” I said.

“You’re wrong, sir. Rodney knows. The kids know. Horace knows. Ask any of them; ask them all. They’re all here, inside, today.” She motioned toward the house.

“Yeah, yeah, a woman of my own; that’s the fix, right? I thought I had one with Willa; that didn’t work out. I thought for sure I had one with Emma, and that didn’t work out either. And both of those because I couldn’t get over you,” I said.

“Adam, Horace told me that you once told him that because of what happened to you. I mean your injury, and yes, I know what a euphemism that is, that you would have allowed me to move on once you got out because—as he said you told him—that you wouldn’t want to saddle me with a man who couldn’t do the man thing,” she said.

“Yes, but that conversation between him and me was before I got your letter,” I said. “That letter changed everything. The betrayal changed everything. Oh, and the keeping my fatherhood from me for over twenty plus years. Oh yeah, those changed everything.”

“Adam, that you are punishing me I understand. And I deserve to be punished. But don’t you see, you are punishing yourself as much or more than you are punishing me!” she said. She was beginning to cry. I needed to put an end to that forthwith.

“Don’t you dare cry. Don’t you dare or we are done talking!” I said. She did her best to suck it up.

“Okay, okay,” she said. “I’ll stop.” I nodded.

“Okay,” I said.

“Adam, I’ve talked to Emma. You need to make things good between you. You were an asshole when you walked out on her and Willa and her husband those months ago. And, you need to accept the help, and yes, I do mean money help, from your brother, asshole that he is or not!”

“Riley I have loved you so. From the first time I saw you those years ago; I’ve loved you. And I think I was beginning to have feelings of love for Emma too until she disappointed me. And yes, I know that some of that is my fault. But...”

“Adam, you need to not hate me. And stop referring to me and Rodney as the bad guys. Yes, the kids and Horace too have reported that to us that that’s how you refer to us. He and I made monumental mistakes, and no I do not mean betraying you by getting married and keeping it from you until you got out of prison.

“The fact is, as we have talked about more than once; that, keeping those secrets was for your benefit. It would have killed your heart and soul way worse if you found out about it, all of it, while you were inside and unable to even so much as call us names! It would,” she said. “And yes, I am fully aware that it was only slightly less bad after you got out and learned about it. But Adam, it was the best we could do, and are still trying to do!”

“There’s no hope for Emma and me. I burned those bridges, or she did, one of us,” I said.

“No, you haven’t, and...” she said.

“And?”

“She’s here, today,” she said. “Will you talk to her?” I stared. She’d absolutely stopped me. Without even realizing that I was doing so, I was nodding, affirmatively nodding.

“Good, and Mister, we are not done talking. We have a lot more to say to each other and discuss, the both of us do. So, next week, I mean for us to continue this little—fight.” I nodded again.

“Okay,” I said. For some reason, for the first time in years, I was feeling positive—I think.

“Oh, and she’s in the den,” said Riley, and she strode off. I took a deep breath and headed back inside to where Emma Sorensen had apparently set up shop. I was stopped by a few of the party faithful as I trod my way down the hall.