Chapter 13

“Well, whaddya think?” said Briana.

“Seems like an okay guy,” said James. “He does seem a little too hard core when it comes to mom and dad. I heard dad talking to uncle Horace. Dad said that he’d offered him a ton of money, and that the man had considered it an insult. Can’t figure that one.”

“Yes, mom says he won’t accept anything from them, not ever, and uncle Adam told me the same thing the last time I talked to him. He’s depressed and kinda bitter,” she said.

“Try seriously bitter,” said James. His older sister nodded.

“She did what! They did what!” said Rodney.

“Calm down. They visited our man,” said Riley. “And, as it turned out, it wasn’t all bad.”

“Okay, okay,” he said. “It just makes me nervous is all. He still hates us, but not the kids I guess.”

“Yes, apparently, but the good news is he isn’t slamming the door in her face when Briana pressures him to communicate with us, or James either if I have it right,” she said.

“But, he is still saying no to any communication with us, you and me,” he said. She sighed.

“Yes, so far. But Briana thinks that he may be bending—a little,” she said.

“Hmm,” he said. “The problem is, that eventually, if we stick to our plan of telling him about the big thing...”

“Yes, that’s going to be a speed bump in the road for sure. But maybe, just maybe, we can figure a way around it. That said, it will be him that has to want to talk, and maybe find it in his heart to understand that we never meant to hurt him or hide things or any of it; but rather, that we simply did not know how not to,” she said. “Really, he has to want to give us a break. Us begging him is not gonna cut it, not to my mind. If only he hadn’t heard us that night at Abby’s; that was bad!”

“I have to agree with you. It does have to be him. And if he can see his way clear to do so. We will open all stops and doors and means and everything to accommodate him,” he said.

“Yes,” she said.

“I just wish that the big thing wasn’t quite so big. We need to talk to Horace. He trusts Horace. He’s the only one who knows about the big thing besides us. I trust his judgement,” he said.

“Yes, me too. Yes, do talk to him. Ask what he thinks we should do, and how we should handle it once the cat is out of the bag,” she said.

“I will, and I will do it soon,” he said. “I want to be ready if the man does bend a little bit more.” She was nodding.

“So you had lunch with Horace?” I said.

“Yes, he’s a nice guy and I like him,” said Emma.

“Well good I guess,” I said.

“Adam, if there is ever anything I can do...” she said.

“Yes, yes,” I said. “I know. I’ll let you know.” I was looking down. She didn’t push it. I knew, that she had to know that there would never be a woman for me, and that single fact was always going to preclude me ever asking for anything from anybody; well, anything that meant anything. The reason for that? The only thing that would ever mean anything to me was a woman, a family.

“Adam, I know your situation. I know it better than anybody. And, you know I’ve seen a lot of it over the years, even worse than what happened to you. There are things that you can do to fix, not your physical lack, but your situation and your life,” said Emma.

“You know Emma, I actually believe you. I know you know what you’re talking about. But there is just one problem, and it’s an insoluble problem,” I said.

“Okay?” she said, and it was a question.

“There is only one woman in the world for me, and she dumped me and married my brother. Can’t help it, don’t even want to. And, since I know I can never have her; well...” I said.

“Adam, I know what you say is a true thing on one level. But there is another side of that level, that coin,” she said.

“Yes?” I said, which was a question.

“What you did saving that woman, your woman, was so self-sacrificing that it actually defines you. I mean you killing three men, who were very bad and very dangerous men for her, proved the truth that you are the kind of a guy that a woman needs.

“Riley needed you back then and you were there for her. I believe, and no I don’t have any hard evidence to prove my thesis, that she would have stayed with you and been there for you in the end were it not for a dozen salient elements.

“Your sentence was forever. Your brother was not immune to her femaleness. She was afraid that you would not be the same guy you were when you got out that you were when you went in. And for the record you are not the same. I saw you change over the years, and I’m not just talking about your bitterness, which is clearly obvious.

“But in another sense you are that same guy. Evidence...” she said.

“Emma...” I started.

“Adam, other women out there need a man like you. Hell, every woman in the world needs a man like you. Yes, the chemistry has to be there for there to be a chance to fall in love and make a life for yourself, or for the woman, that so far unidentified woman. But she’s out there, the woman, your woman; and there is not the slightest doubt that that chemistry is even now roiling inside of the two of you; believe it,” she said.

“You make a helluva case, Emma, but I just don’t know. I guess we’ll be seeing down the line,” And, as for chemistry, yeah it’s what’s necessary to start love affairs. But there is something else. Schopenhauer said requited love doesn’t mean much if the object of love is not possessed by the lover. He said that even if the love was not requited if possession is achieved then happiness could still result. If he’s right, whaddya think my chances of ever possessing my Riley again are? And yes, I read a lot when I was in prison; I hated television,” I said.

“Yes, reading is to be preferred over the boob tube, even for the boobs,” she said, and laughed. But Schopenhauer? I’ll need to check him out. I nodded.

Emma was actually a friend. Different than Horace who was really more of a friendly acquaintance. Emma and I were, at some level, real friends. I didn’t know anything about her personal life. Maybe she needed friends too.

A person, especially a woman, who will listen to a guy when he’s down, or at best spinning his wheels, is invaluable. Emma was a listener, a sympathetic listener.