Chapter 19: Intent to Thrive

“As I intend to thrive in this new world”
- Fitzwater, Richard II, Act IV, Scene I
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New Year’s had been somewhat less joyful for the passengers and crew of T’kliktguul than any could remember in years past. This first Hogmanay after the President of the United States’ famous speech was filled with thoughts of years past, of lives forever disrupted by thirty minutes of the most gripping presentation ever made on live television, of friends forever left behind or sent ahead.

At the Feast of Saint Silvester – or more accurately, the Orgy of Saint Silvester, for the sex started even before the children could be hustled off to bed – that rang in the New Years, the gaiety seemed a little forced. It could be because aside from the effects of raging sexual desire everyone was stone-cold sober, as no alcohol was consumed by anyone anywhere. It could have been because every hour part of the ship’s crew was at their duty stations. Or it could have been the awareness that in two more days they’d be arriving at their destination.

Everyone was desperately aware of the fact that their destination was the closest colony yet established to the somewhat nebulous front lines, meaning all aboard were sailing into danger and the Marines on board were very likely to see combat.

Lieutenant William Whitefeather noticed it. As Christmas was a time for children, with all the hopes and dreams for the future the little cherubs represented, New Year’s was more for the adults, with their memories of times past, of saying good-bye to the old year and looking forward to the new. Sometimes you looked to that new year with hope, other times with despair. He didn’t know for sure but based on how things were on Earth five short weeks ago when they left, he was sure the feeling was more leaning toward pessimism than optimism. He himself was feeling far from sanguine despite his public mask of composure.

Ship’s time was by now well after midnight. Whitefeather lay on his side on a chaise lounge that looked like it belonged in a classical Roman triclinium. His concubines reclined around him on other lounges in nude splendour, Judy and Callie engaged in a soixante-neuf while a contentedly sleeping Della masturbated in her sleep. Judy, starting to show and self-conscious about her weight as a result, hugged him protectively.

Whitefeather recognized the voice in his head as soon as the first words registered. T’kliktguul subvocally suggested, ‘You seem pensive, friend William.’

‘You noticed, friend Guildenstern.’

‘I have been observing everyone on board me since each person arrived, friend William. I have gotten to know each of you quite well and have become somewhat acquainted with each individual’s many moods.’

‘Careful, friend Guildenstern. To a soldier, “individual” could be considered a grave insult. We’re supposed to be part of a team. There is no room for individuals on a team.’ He put a chuckle into the response, hoping that T’kliktguul would realize he was amused rather than outraged.

Fortunately, T’kliktguul’s comprehension skills were more than up to the task. The response also contained a chuckle. ‘Point taken, friend William, but to return to the point of my remark, what is it that concerns you?’

‘I was thinking of the future,’ Whitefeather replied soberly. ‘The near future, to be specific. This is a new danger, and a new type of war, but war and I are old companions.’ He paused to gather his thoughts. ‘Every campaign I’ve ever been in, people have died – good people, bad people, but people who had family and friends who mourned them, and would for the rest of their lives. How many will survive this? How many battles will we have, before we can move on? And will I make it this time? But do you know what my biggest worry is?’

‘That is beyond my capacity for speculation, friend William.’

‘How will I react? Will I be steady under fire, or will I bolt?’

‘But you are a veteran, friend William. You should know how you’ll react.’

‘I’m a veteran of Earth’s wars, and I know what to expect of my fellow humans, some of whom are nowhere near as disciplined as those troops I’ve had the privilege of leading. But these are not human enemy we face. They’re so different that I don’t know how I’ll react to them, or how I’ll take them or ... how my comrades will react to them. Will they panic and run, deserting me at a time I need them most? For that matter, will I?’

‘An interesting series of questions from a veteran, friend William, especially a Victoria Cross winner.’

‘Oh, I bet every veteran is thinking the same thing. The last thing we want to do is to be taken as a coward by our fellow soldiers, but at the same time the last thing we want to do is to die messily and painfully before old age has a chance to take us. We silly humans have our foolish pride to uphold.’

‘We Trading Clan ships have our own “foolish pride”, similar to yours. I can say with confidence that neither I nor T’klikrooz will abandon you in your hour of need, should we be directed to assist. It would be a violation of our contract, just as deserting your post would be a violation of the social contract between you and your men, and would dishonour our Clan. And no Tuull Trading Clan vessel would ever dishonour its Clan, even if it were the last representative of that Clan left, and we were to face certain destruction for doing so.’

‘I shall miss you, friend Guildenstern, when you leave to take more humans to the stars.’

‘I shall miss your company as well, friend William. I had hoped we would enjoy more of these philosophical discussions in the future, but a Trading Clan vessel exists to transport precious cargo. There is no more precious cargo than life itself, and we would be remiss if we were to remain at our destination in violation of the T’klikt Trading Clan’s contract with the Armed Forces of the Confederacy to transport humans. Besides, neither T’klikrooz nor I are combatants, and therefore we clearly have no business being anywhere near a combat zone.’ He paused for a beat. ‘I am certain you are as aware as I that the colony we are headed for is expected to be the site of battle within one year, if not sooner?’

‘Yes, I am. That’s probably part of what makes me so pensive.’

‘Friend William, I am not just concerned for the future survival of yourself and your fellow combatants. I am also concerned for the future survival of your and your combatants’ concubines and younglings. This colony is rated “least safe” by Central Command. My fellow AI have passed on to me mission briefings, memos, notes and other observations of human commanders’ communications where both the wisdom of this colony’s placement and the wisdom of the system commanding officer have been vigorously questioned. There are suggestions that he should be relieved, which works as military commander but as he is also colony governor leads to the potential for interpersonal conflict.’

‘If you’re attempting to reassure me, friend Guildenstern, be advised that your efforts are not being successful,’ Whitefeather noted wryly.

‘Friend William, I fear that I am the one in need of reassurance. I have never gone this close to a war before, and I find the concept of being on the receiving end of enemy fire a very disagreeable one indeed. How do you humans handle it?’

Whitefeather sat back as he considered his response. Briefly he reminded himself that he was talking to a ship, not an organic being – but it was no use. T’kliktguul’s personality programming, done by long-dead Tuull code monkeys to exquisitely exacting standards, was too perfect for anyone to regard him as a mere ship, or computer program. As he’d put it to the bemused controllers upon his and his friend’s arrival at Earthat less than two months’ previously, the AI and the ship were both one and the same – Whitefeather’s mind refused point-blank to separate the concepts of the ship and its AI. To physically remove the computer from the freighter was as unthinkable as removing a human’s brain from the body. It still raised issues in his mind about how much humans were their organic carriers and how much the grey matter beneath their skulls.

That led him to an even more uncomfortable question. Did he really have a “ghost” in his machine, a spirit inside? Did T’kliktguul? In the final analysis, did a “soul” really exist, and if it did, at what point? Just with people? With animals? Plants?

‘For me, I try to be ready for it. I check my gear, double check it, then check it again. I review the battle plan and the terrain and the intelligence on the enemy and the status of my own troops’ preparations. I try to figure out what could go wrong, and then try to come up with alternatives that I can grasp. Once battle has commenced, I’ve found, you’re usually reacting too much to think straight, so the more little tricks you’ve got in your back pocket to pull out when you find out what reality actually is, the lower the casualty rate.” He shrugged. “And then I say a little prayer just before we enter the landing zone.’

T’kliktguul’s response showed he’d thought of what Whitefeather had said. ‘I think I see. This conversation has been most helpful, Friend William. Can we converse on the topic of “preparation” further at a later time? In the meantime, I believe that one of your concubines has needs.’

Whitefeather came to the realization that Lisa was snuggling up to him. As he turned his attention to the pregnant young lady, she turned her face to him. The kiss they shared was long, and lingering, and romantic, and filled with lust.

“You’d gone away for awhile,” she complained in a little-girl voice. Do we bore you that much?”

“No, but the conversation with Guildenstern was very important to him. My attention is all yours now, my love.”

“Do you really love me?” she fretted. “I’m so fat now.”

“That is not fat, my love. That is my – our – child in there, cartilage and sinew and muscles, growing and developing.” He put a hand on her belly and gently massaged it. “I love him, and I love his mommy, and I hope to have lots more with you over our years together. You aren’t fat, you’re pregnant with the child of someone who loves you, and a woman pregnant with her lover’s child is the most beautiful thing in the universe.”