Chapter 12: Up and Down

“Up and down, up and down
I will lead them up and down
I am feared in field in town
Goblin, lead them up and down”

- Puck, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene II

A bosun’s whistle sounded through T’kliktguul’s main cargo bay as the hatch from the tender opened to admit Captain Ratimir Doroshenko. He was flanked by a pair of transporter technicians and his engineering officer, Lieutenant Sam Devine.

As he left the tender and trod for the first time on the deck of his new command, Ratimir found himself being saluted by a life-sized, staticky hologram of a somewhat portly grey-bearded man. The figure was dressed in a captain’s uniform of a style that was current well over a hundred years ago. A white star decorated the waving flag in the centre of the apparition’s crown-topped cap badge. As he hesitantly returned the static-fuzzed ghostly form’s salute, it dropped its hand and stood there, unblinking and hard-eyed, as motionless as a statue, staring at nothing.

“What the hell is THAT?” Devine blurted, startled at the almost transparent hologram.

The disembodied bass voice of T’kliktguul floated down from the ceiling. “Lieutenant Samuel Devine, that is a hologram.”

“I know that, but a hologram of who? Or whom, or whatever?”

“Lieutenant Samuel Devine, the hologram is of Captain Edward Smith, master and commander of the Royal Mail Steamer Titanic.”

“Forget ‘who’, I want to know ‘why’,” Doroshenko insisted.

“Captain Ratimir Doroshenko, we are trying to present the incoming captains with a friendly face that they might recognize upon assuming their commands. As neither of us have currently living captains and neither of us have ever had a human captain, we were forced to use holographic substitutes.”

“‘We’? ‘Captains’? I take it that Captain Singh is likewise being greeted by this ... this THING?”

“Captain Ratimir Doroshenko, that assumption is correct.”

Doroshenko felt a rising annoyance. “I’d prefer someone who did NOT go down with the ship, thank you very much.”

The hologram instantly morphed into a baby-faced middle-aged man in a tuxedo-type white merchant marine fancy dress uniform. The motionless form had a bit of a grin on its face, making it look more than slightly moronic.

“And who the hell is THAT?”

“Captain Ratimir Doroshenko, that is Captain Francesco Schettino, master and commander of the passenger cruise ship Costa Concordia.”

“Ah. I’m noticing a theme here.” Doroshenko waved his hand wearily. “Make that silly thing go away. We have work to do.”

The ersatz form of the disgraced passenger cruise ship captain vanished, as T’kliktguul acknowledged, “Captain Ratimir Doroshenko, as you command.”

“Oh, and it’s just ‘Captain’. You don’t have to say my full name each and every damned time, thank you very much.”

“Just Captain, as you command.”

One of the transporter technicians snickered.

The first hop might be just an overnight familiarization and shakedown cruise “up” out of the Solar System and right back “down” again, but Captain Doroshenko had a feeling it was going to be a very long two days.

For both T’klikrooz and T’kliktguul, the feel of creatures on their decks was a welcome relief after the enforced loneliness of their voyage from Tuullat.

The same could not be said for the officers and men who made up each ship’s complement. Even as the freighters’ transporter disks glowed red to signal their arrival, the rumours were racing around the fleet about these strange new additions to the Fleet Auxiliary.

For all the sailors assigned to the two ancient freighters, it was their first true taste of space. They were understandably somewhat tentative upon arriving in their new post. As each crewman emerged from the nexuses, they would look around nervously.

As Corpsman Tania Boswell arrived in the newly installed sick bay and started checking out the equipment and supplies, she heard a distinct throat clearing sound. She looked around, but she was alone in the compartment. The brunette suppressed a shiver as she returned to work.

“Corpsman Tania Boswell, may I ask a question?” came a male voice. The speaker sounded tentative and apologetic.

Again, Tania spun around, faster this time. The compartment was clearly empty aside from her. This didn’t quite sound like an AI, it was too ... human. There were emotions in that rich bass voice, and no AI she’d yet encountered had anything like emotions.

“Who’s there? Derek? Sithembiso? Bortolo?” Tania tried to keep the nervousness out of her voice, but knew she was failing utterly. This was spooky.

“Corpsman Tania Boswell, my deepest apologies.” The strong, smoothly masculine voice sounded regretful at being impolite toward her. “I should have introduced myself first. I am T’klikt Clan Trading Vessel T’kliktguul, of the Tuull of Tuullat, at your service.” His name, and the name of his clan, came across as a series of clicks to Tania’s ear.

“Oh? You’re the ship’s AI?”

“Corpsman Tania Boswell, I am much more than just the ship’s AI, just as you are much more than just your brain. I am the ship, just as you are the human known as Corpsman Tania Boswell.” The voice paused. “I wanted to ask a question about the current situation aboard me.”

Tania raised her eyebrows at that one. “If I know the answer, I’ll give it.”

“Thank you, Corpsman Tania Boswell.”

“And call me ‘Tania’. All my friends do.”

“Thank you, friend Tania. It is good to have friends. My question is, why are there none of those labelled ‘concubine’ or your younglings aboard? I was given to understand I could expect complete families.”

Tania shook her head at the sheer unreality of the conversation. An AI indicating that ‘it is good to have friends’? “This is a short shakedown cruise. We’re taking possession of a new vessel, and we want to get used to how she handles, and what quirks and idiosyncrasies it has, so we can know the best way to handle any situation we encounter. Once we know everything is OK, we’ll be given the OK to take aboard our concubines and kids.”

“Ah, I understand, friend Tania. Even if I am older than your species, I am still new to your service. I’ve had shakedown cruises before, after every upgrade in fact. They can be quite enjoyable, as they give me a chance to show off my flight skills.”

“I’m not sure I want to see you show off your flight skills,” Tania fretted.

Captain Ratimir Doroshenko settled into his seat on the bridge and tightened the restraints holding him into the chair. T’kliktguul quietly noted that, unlike the old format for his bridge, the humans preferred physical restraints. The Tuull crews he’d previously been crewed with had preferred force-field restraints, but then Tuull crews didn’t expect to go into battle, with the possibilities of multiple hull breaches and power outages. For being such a fearlessly adventuresome race, Homo Sapiens seemed to have a cautious side that exceeded the timidity of the current generation of Tuull.

The arm of Doroshenko’s chair held his data pad, carefully locked down into a holder lest it go flying away should the artificial gravity fail. The preflight checklist came up. “Go-No Go checklist. All stations stand by. Communications?”

His communications officer sent a test packet between Orbital Control and T’klikrooz. He confirmed he’d received the expected replies. “Communications are go.”

“Sensors?”

The chief sensors officer had been double-checking his sensors against MFC Dagenham and T’klikrooz. It showed him exactly what he expected to see. “Sensors go.”

“Environmental.”

“All readings green, all hatches secure, gangways have been retracted. Environmental is go.”

“Navigation?”

“Navigation is ‘go’.”

“Helm?”

“Helm is ‘go’.”

“Defence.”

The lieutenant in charge of T’kliktguul’s combination of shields and defence personnel confirmed that all was in readiness and reported, “Defence systems ‘go’.”

“Cargo?”

“All cargo pods empty and secure, tie-downs confirmed. We are ‘go’.”

“Engineering?”

“Engines on standby, ready to answer all bells.”

“Thrusters at station-keeping. Release mooring lines.” Obediently, the force beams holding the ship connected to the dock deactivated.

“Orbital control, this is ... ah...”