Wee Wee Wee, All the Way Home
by Mat Twassel
Copyright© 2021 by Mat Twassel
The conveyor carried the pigs. There wasn’t room to turn around. Head to tail they went, the metal grate clanking beneath them. No telling what was up ahead. Plenty of pigs behind.
“Boy, do you stink,” said the pig to Jacob’s rear.
“Sorry, couldn’t help it,” Jacob replied.
Clank, clank, clank.
Now, just over the shoulder of the pig ahead, Jacob could see. Three ahead was Emil. Good old Emil, not the best at tag, but a good buddy. Ahead also was a gate. And the man. With the hammer. And the knife. And the gate opened. And the man mumbo-jumbo’d:
GodInHeaven
WhoGracesHeavenAndEarth
BlessThisCreature
AndTakeHisSoulToThee.
And the hammer came down. And the knife went up. Oh no! Poor Emil!
A hook snatched Emil by the butt. Yanked him up. Blood spurting from his throat. Yikes! “Stop!” Jacob wanted to shout. “Stop this thing right now!”
Clank, clank, clank.
The pig in front. Betty Sue. Sweet Betty Sue. Jacob had always had a crush on her.
And the gate opened. And the man mumbo-jumbo’d:
GodInHeaven
WhoGracesHeavenAndEarth
BlessThisCreature
AndTakeHisSoulToThee.
And the hammer came down. And the knife went up. And the hook snatched her. Jacob closed his eyes and squealed. He was next.
Clank, clank.
“Oh, no!”
But the conveyor stopped. The gate stayed up. The man set down the hammer and the knife. Break time. Union regulations.
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