Chapter 1

I never knew I was different from other kids when I was younger. I had a very open and loving family. I had normal childhood friends of both genders. My family being new aged “hippies” let me play and dressed however I felt comfortable. Sometimes I’d wear cute little girlie girl dresses, cute little girl cotton panties, and my hair puled back in a ponytail or cute braids with bows and ribbons. Other times I’d wear boys sneakers, cargo style shorts, T-shirts with monster tucks, race cars, sports themes, and tractors. But my very favorite was my WWE shirt with a shirtless Bautista on the front holding his championship belt in the air. Now you maybe thinking that’s somewhat normal especially in today’s society. Tomboys or girls who do not conform with “traditional” standards are very common place. However when I dressed girlie, I in every way felt acted and naturally acted like any young little girl would act. I’d blush, giggle, get nervous around boys, play with dolls and dream of being a Disney princess. When I dressed like a boy it was the complete opposite. I’d get into fights, picked on girls, played with trucks and cars, and played sports in the boys division. I in every way felt and acted like a rambunctious and mischievous little boy. You may wonder about school. I was homeschooled by my aunt who taught all of the neighborhood kids and a few of my cousins that were around the same age. Life was great until the summer before I started middle school.

They say Jr High is teen hell and it was no different for me. In fact it was compounded. My name is Bailey Kirsten Johansson and I’m bi-gendered inter-sexed hermaphrodite. For those not familiar with gender and and sex differences, sex is biological (vagina, penis, testicles, ovaries), and gender is societal norms and expectations (girl, boy, man, woman and everything that you subconsciously think about when you hear those terms). I prefer the term inter-sexed rather than hermaphrodite. Hermaphrodite is is an outdated term often associated with freaks during a time when much was unknown. There’s different types of inter-sexed individuals. Some have fully functional male or female sex organs with some abnormalities such as an enlarged clitoris that protrudes from the body an inch or two appearing to be a small or miniature penis. Or you can have boys that the testicular sac did not not fully develop and their sac appears to be nothing more that long vaginal lips with a small vaginal opening and functional vaginal canal opening. And of course there’s those who have some variance. You’re probably wondering where I fall in this spectrum so I’ll go ahead and tell you. I’m one of the very few who are fully inter-sexed. My “plumbing” functions practically like a normal male. However my penis never fully detached from my pubic skin. Imagine if your foreskin was still connected to your sac so it was always in a downward position. So when I get “hard”I enlarge be my growing downward like a clot grows out from the hood. Only that I have a full penis head that peeks out. My sac however is not fully formed. They are separated like flaps and look and feel just like a woman’s inner lips that you boys often refer to as meat flaps. I have two marble sized testicles inside each of my lips. Allowing me to produce semen fluid but only a very minute amount of actual spermatozoa (sperm). I also have a fully functioning vagina and vaginal canal leading to a heathy female uterus, however, due to the levels of male testosterone in my system I do not ovulate however I do get extremely wet when I get aroused. I digress however, at this point in time I had had my sexual awakening, as I call it and simply became severely depressed having to definitively choose a gender to be enrolled as. But I had the whole summer to choose which is where this story begins. My sexual awakening.