“Deena! You have to say yes when he asks you out to double date with Steve and me.”

“Why? He’s nice and all, but I’ve heard the stories the guys tell about him. I mean they call him “Stumpy”.”

“Deena, you are my best friend in the whole world.Right?”

“Right.”

“I’ve never asked you to do anything that would hurt you or us, have I?”

“No.”

“I even warned you when I heard what Brian had planned for you at Homecoming, right?”

“Right.”

“Then trust me when I tell you that Mick O’Dell will be the bestdate you have ever had and maybe ever will have.”

“But...”

“No buts! When he asks you out, say yes.”

“What makes you think he’ll ask me out?”

“Mick, I’m in a bind. This date I have going with Gwen is a special one, and frankly, we’re both afraidthat if we don’t double date, that we’ll end up parked somewhere and having sex.”

“Pardon me and my lack of experience, but that is a bad thing how?”

“Mick, Gwen is not on the pill. Her parents forbid it. We came too close last time.”

“Use a rubber, Steve.”

“I can’t show up with a rubber. She’ll know I want to have sex with her.”

“The way you talk, I think she knows it.”

“She does. And I know she wants to and I want to, but we’ve sort of sworn not to do it until after high school.”

“Then there is the problem of who do I ask. Thanks to Brian and some of the other guys, I have a bit of a crappy reputation with the in crowd girls at school all calling me “Stumpy”. I doubt they would be able to say “No thank you” before they burst out in belly laughs.”

“Mick, Deena will say yes. I get the feeling that she is just waiting for you to ask her out.”

“I get the impression that she is always on the verge of asking me to leave.”

“But, Gwen, what is everyone going to say when they find out I went on a date with Mick O’Dell. I mean, I can hear all the shitty comments now. “Could you find it?” “Was his pinky bigger?” “Did he letyou use it for a tooth pick?” I don’t date much now anyway thanks to Brian. My parents have put some big restrictions on me. They believed the rumors he started.”

“After they meet Mick, they’ll change their minds. Please accept his request for a date?”

“When is he going to ask?”

“Tomorrow in school.”

“Oh boy,” Deena said joylessly.

“Steve, what about her reputation?”

“Shitman, what about yours? You know that Brian is responsible for about 90% of the shit rumors at school. I’m telling you that her reputation is no worse than yours and just as factual.”

“If, and that’s a big if, if I go along with this double date, where arewe going and what is it going to cost?”

“We’re going to take in an early light snack at Applebee’s, then we’re going to the Big Wood Twin to see the movies. We’ll get one of their huge pizzas and some sodas there. Then we watch all three movies and go home.”

“Steve, that doesn’t seem like a very special date to me. You said it was a special date for you and Gwen.”

“Gwen and I will have been dating for a year. If I take her alone to the drive-in we won’t see the second half of the first movie and nothing after that. And she could end up pregnant. Once she starts kissing me, I lose control and once I start feeling her nipples she’s as bad.”

“So what are Deena and I going to do while you and Gwen try to not attack each other? Are we going to sit guys in front, girls in back?”

“No. I’m going to have my dads van. We’ll take up two spaces and the captain’s chairs will let us sit close, but not be too close. We’ll watch the movies out of the side windows and have the table for the huge pizza and listen to the soundon the van’s surround sound system. It will be a great date. Who knows, if you two talk enough, you might find out that you really do like each other.”

“The first time she giggles, I walk.”

“From the drive in?”

“I’ve walked farther.”

“Yeah, I remember. I was there. That was when all the shit with Brian started.”

“Yeah, well I couldn’t sit by and let him drug Maryanne. When I saw him drop that stuff in her drink, I couldn’t sit by.”

“I understand. Maryanne is one of the few girls in school who talks to you on a regular basis.”

“She’s the only one who’ll play piano for me, when that asshole, Mr. Noidman makes me sing solos at school concerts.”

“Well maybe you should ask her out sometime?”

“Maybe instead of Deena. I just know she’ll reject me and make it loud.”

“Not from what Gwen tells me. Look man, I’m your best...”

“ ... only...”

“ ... friend. That’s not true. You have friends. I need you, man. Please.”

“OK. I’ll ask her tomorrow in school.”

“Oh boy!” Steve said joyfully.

“Excuse me, Deena, may I sitwith you for a minute?”

“Sure Mick.”

“Um, Deena ... my friend Steve and his girl Gwen are going to have a special date on Saturday night and he’s asked me to find someone to double date with them.”

“Yeah, Gwen’s my best friend. She told me he had something special planned.”

“Well. Would you please go out with me and double date with them?”

“I don’t know, Mick. After that thing with Brian, I’m kind of on a tight leash with the ‘rents.”

“Your parents heard that crap Brian was spitting out?”

“Yes and for somereason, they believed it.”

“Would it help if I asked them for permission?”

“Really? You would do that?”

“Absolutely. You’re not the only one keeping ahead of some bull shit lies ... pardon my language, some of the horrible lies about people, started by Brian.”

“You too?”

“Oh come on, Deena. I know you’ve heard them. I’m so sure that I told Steve that you would never say yes, if I ever got the bal ... guts to ask you out. I mean who wants to be seen with “Stumpy”?”

“And I told Gwen,” Deena said, “that you’d neverask me out because you wouldn’t want to be seen with the school slut.”

“I’m sure from watching you that you’re not that and I trust Steve. He’s my best friend. He said we were going to Applebee’s, then the Big Wood Twin for a huge pizza and three movies and then head home. I would like for you to be my date and if that means asking your parents permission, I’ll do that as well, before you have to say yes or no.”

I rang the doorbell and waited. I was dressed in my school clothes, clean jeans, loafers, and a polo shirt. My letter jacket was over all that. I should have used more deodorant. The door opened before I could pull my face away from my arm pit and run away.

“Hi Mick.” Wow!

“Hi Deena.” Shit!

“Come on in.”

I entered the home of my hoped fordate and Deena led me into the kitchen. Her father was sitting at the table and her mother was cooking at the stove.

“Daddy, Mom, this is Mick O’Dell. He asked me to come over so he could talk to you two.”

“Talk to us? What in heavens name for?” Deena’s mother said.

“Yeah ... wait a minute? Are you pregnant? Is he here to ask to marry you?”

“NO!” Deena screamed. “I don’t do that stuff, Daddy! I’m a virgin! I’ve told you that over and over.”

Deena broke into tears as she stood next to me and I had never felt so awkward in my entire life. Before anything could be said I jumped into the fire with both feet, covered in gasoline, and holding a lit match.

“Wait a minute! Mr. Horner, I’ve never even so much as kissed Deena or held her hand. She and I are both suffering from the same problem at school. Brian Hardisty has been spreading rumors about a lot of kids. For some reason the one he spread about Deena and me have stuck. Deena is a nice girl and I’ve noticed that. I’m here to ask you if I could take her out on adouble date with my best friend Steve Smith and his girlfriend, Deena’s best friend, Gwen Zorn. We are going to Applebee’s and then to the drive-in to see the three movies. We’ll eat one of their giant pizzas and then come home. That’s it. Do I have yourpermission?”

“Did Deena say yes?” Her father asked sharply.

“I haven’t asked her. Formally. I told her I was thinking of it and she told me that you might not let her go because of the reputation she has had pushed on her. I’m here to ask you first and then I’ll ask her, if you say it’s all right.”

Deena’s mother and father looked at each other. I’d seen my own parents do the same thing. I’m pretty sure that it’s telepathy. She smiled. He frowned. She raised her eyebrows, He scrunched his. She placed her hand on her shoulder, across her breasts. His eyebrows went up. She smiled. He nodded, before turning to me.

“She can go with you. But you and Steve and Gwen will come in here on Saturday and pick her up. None of this honk the horn and wait bullshit.”

“Peter, language!”

“Fuck that April! This is my baby we’re talking about. How about it boy?”

“I agree. I’m sure that Steve and Gwen will agree as well. Thank you, sir,” I turned to Deena’s mother. “Thank you Mrs Horner.”

I turned to Deena and politely said,”Deena Horner, would you please go out with me on Saturday night?”

“Yes, Mick O’Dell, I would love to.”

“Oh enough with the formal crap. Deena?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Nothing more than a little necking.”

“DADDY!”

“Mr. Horner, I’m serious. We’ve never even touchedeach other before. I don’t think necking is going to happen on the first and maybe only date.”

“Oh no!” Mr. Horner said, trying to sound wise. “I can see it. This may be the first date, but it won’t be the last. Now get out of here.”

“Unless you’d like tostay for dinner, Mick,” Mrs. Horner sort of asked.

“Thank you very much for the invite. I haven’t been home yet, since school let out.”

“Well, call your parents and ask them if you can stay for dinner. If your mother needs to talk to me let me have the phone.”

I called home. My mother answered and I explained the situation. She asked to talk to Mrs. Horner. They talked for a few minutes before Mrs. Horner handed the phone back to me.

“Your mother sounds very nice, Mick”

“Thank you ma’am. Hellomom? ... Yes ma’am ... yes ma’am ... yes ma’am. I love you. Tell Dad the same. Bye.”

“Well?”

“Mrs. Horner, I’d like to accept your invitation to dinner. My mother says that I should offer to help with anything both before and after the meal.”

“Wonderful. Did you hear that, Peter?”

“Yeah. Wonderful! When do we eat?”

“It should be ready in about fifteen minutes. Deena show Mick where he can wash his hands.”

“OK, Mom.”

Deena had me by the hand before she could finish the sentence and led me upstairs to a bathroom in the main hallway.

“That was too much. I can’t believe they would mention what Brian spread around about me.”

“It was your father more than your mother, Deena. I think she understands a lot.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. So, now that we’re dating, do you want to kiss me and get the yucky stuff out of the way?”

“Let me wash my hands first.”

“Why? Where do you think you’re going to put them?”

I looked at Deena in shock and then she smiled and giggled and gave me a short, sweet, kiss on the lips.

“Steve?” I said when he answered the phone.

“Hi Mick! Did you ask her?”

“I did; at school. She asked me to ask her parents. I think she was hoping that they would veto the date.”

“And?”

“And her mom talked to my mom. I stayed over for dinner. I askedDeena about Saturday night and she said yes after her parents OKed it. So, for better or worse, we’re on.”

“Great, I’ll call Gwen and let her know. She was all sorts of worried. And don’t you worry. I’m sure Deena will have a great time with you. Hell man, even I like you! Later.”

“Later!”

I disconnected the call.

Saturday night, Steve picked me up at my house, Gwen was with him. We drove to Deena’s house and the three of us walked to the door. I rang the bell and Deena answered.

“Hi guys! Come on in.”

We walked in and were greeted by a happy mother and a still grumpy father. I wondered if he had ever yelled, “Get off my lawn!”.

“Hello Mr and Mrs Horner,” I greeted Deena’s parents. “You know Gwen Zorn. This is her boyfriend Steve Smith.”

Steve offered a hand to both of Deena’s parents, her mother first, and before anything else happened, Mr Horner spoke up.