Something about Miss Hunter, the social studies teach, rubbed Amanda the wrong way. For instance, this afternoon Miss Hunter gave the class a homework assignment.

“Now listen carefully, children,” Miss Hunter said. “Let’s say that hypothetically you eat a bowl of cereal with milk everyday before school. You feel it’s essential to eat this cereal. But one day, after you’ve poured the cereal into the bowl, you discover there is no milk in the refrigerator. But there is apple juice and cranberry juice. So what do you do?

a. Eat the cereal dry.

b. Eat the cereal with cranberry juice.

c. Eat the cereal with apple juice.

d. Skip breakfast.”

Amanda raised her hand. “What if we wanted to do something else?” she asked.

“Like what?” Miss Hunter said.

“Oh, like run to the store and buy some milk,” Amanda said. “There’s a corner grocery just two blocks from my house,” she lied.

Miss Hunter frowned. “Clever girl. Let’s just pretend that the grocery is two miles away. And they’re sold out of milk.”

“Okay,” Amanda continued. “Then I’d go into the barn behind my house and milk my cow.”

“Amanda, you’re impossible. There is no cow.”

“Then I’d milk my mom. She’s breast feeding my little sister. She has plenty of milk.”

“Oh, Amanda there is no—”

“Stop,” Amanda shouted, covering her ears. “Don’t kill off my little sister for the sake of some hypothetical milk.”

“You win,” Miss Hunter said. “You can add choice e, other. Satisfied?”

Amanda said, “More or less. Have you ever tried cereal with cum?”

“Amanda!”

“Don’t worry, Miss Hunter, it’s hypothetical cum.”