Chapter 24: Back to Reality

By mid-morning I have begun to come back to reality. The unbelievable sensations I felt last night are fading and I realise I must attend to the consequences of my night of passion. My most immediate challenge is to face Hürrem. Avoiding her any longer is only going to make my task harder. I have been hoping that the sultan would send the customary gift before I face Hürrem. Hürrem will surely ask whether I have received a gift as an indication of the sultan’s favour. A valuable gift will mean he was pleased with my company and that last night may well be repeated in the near future; a gift of lesser value means my time as a hatun in the Imperial Harem is likely to end soon. Unfortunately the Valide said that urgent state matters will keep the sultan busy this morning, so I must be patient.

Of course the other women in the harem are unaware of the reason for Sultan Suleiman’s delay in sending a gift. Those who like to gossip and make mischief are already drawing their own conclusions. I just hope they are wrong in their assessment of my time with the sultan. As for Fidan, she has already started her preparations for tonight. She is busy telling her friends how her journey along the golden path will be a huge success. Despite my jealousy, I hope for her sake that she isn’t over-estimating her skills.

I go upstairs to Hurrem’s room. Esme is sat with her while the two of them embroider and sew. For Esme it is a useful source of income. Her needlework is excellent and the sultanas often pay her to repair their torn dresses. For Hürrem, sewing is simply a pastime to wile away the hours. Esme greets me warmly; Hürrem’s greeting is more formal.

“I hope you realise that the Valide is only using you to get back at me,” says Hürrem after I’ve given an edited account of my night with Sultan Suleiman.

“I know. She is trying to drive a wedge between you and I, and between Mahidevran and Fidan,” I reply. “But she will only succeed if you and I allow a rift to grow between us.”

“I agree,” replies Hürrem. “But you are aware of my ambitions. Be careful you don’t come between me and achieving my goal.”

I could add that I too have ambitions, although they are quite different from those of Hürrem. It remains to be seen whether she and I can both achieve our ambitions while remaining close friends.

“Don’t you have ambitions, Gülnihal?” asks Esme.

Esme’s question takes me by surprise. Is she able to read my mind? It is easy to underestimate Esme since she is so quiet and unassuming. She has never shown any desire to become one of the sultan’s favourites. However, she follows every nuance of harem politics. And for those of us living in the Imperial Harem, the only politics which matter are about gaining access to the sultan’s bedchamber. Esme cannot be blind to the Valide’s attempts to promote me ahead of Hürrem in Sultan Suleiman’s eyes.

“Yes. I have ambitions,” I reply. “They aren’t as lofty, or as difficult to achieve as Hürrem’s, but I too hope that one day I will achieve them.”

“Really?” says Hürrem, as though it never occurred to her that I might have ambitions. “What are they?”

“My main ambition is to understand and be able to speak as many languages as I can manage,” I reply.

“Why on earth would you want to do that?” replies Hürrem. “I have enough difficulty learning Turkish.”

We must all speak Turkish within the palace. However, few arrivals from the slave markets enter the Imperial Harem knowing any Turkish at all. We must learn the language as quickly as possible. Hürrem and I would have been lost when we first arrived, were it not for Esme and a handful of other odalisques being able to speak our native language. For some people, learning a new language is easy. For others it is very hard. While I find it relatively easy, Hürrem clearly falls into the latter group. Her heavily accented Turkish is possibly one of the reasons the Valide regards Hürrem as an unsuitable consort for the sultan.

“The Ottoman empire consists of people of many different races and religions,” I reply. “Each group has its own language and traditions. The women who enter the harem are likewise from many different backgrounds. Being able to understand people from different lands is a useful skill.”

“Perhaps, but I still don’t see how you are going to achieve your goal,” says Hürrem. “Nor what good it will do you. You’ve walked the golden path. You must either conceive an Ottoman heir soon, or you will be married off to some merchant or pasha whom Sultan Suleiman wishes to reward.”

“If I conceive then I will be able to teach my child what I know,” I reply. “If I don’t, then the Valide may decide a hatun who can speak many languages is a useful person to keep in the Imperial Harem.”

The prospect of being married to a stranger at the sultan’s whim fills me with dread. In truth, it was the original reason I looked for a way to stay in the Imperial Harem whatever happened. But I now realise that my reply to Esme’s question is no longer entirely true. My time with Sultan Suleiman last night has changed my desires. I still wish to learn many languages, but my plans on acquiring and using my new knowledge is now different. Until a few days ago I had resigned myself to a life of servitude; either as a maid to Hürrem or one of the sultanas, or, if all else failed, as a young wife to an elderly merchant or pasha. All that changed last night. Sultan Suleiman woke a hidden yearning inside me. I may not want to challenge Mahidevran and Hürrem, but if it is the only way to fulfil my new desire to bear Sultan Suleiman a child, then I must do what is necessary.

Unfortunately, achieving my new ambition is outside my immediate control. I don’t even know whether Sultan Suleiman desires another night with me. Tonight is clearly Fidan’s night and tomorrow is Thursday. By tradition, the sultan reserves Thursday night for his current favourite. The animosity between Mahidevran and Hürrem started in earnest when Hürrem began to usurp Mahidevran’s place on a Thursday night. But tomorrow will be the first Thursday since Sultan Suleiman’s return from the Hungarian campaign. His preferences may have changed in the lengthy interim. Perhaps I might be the new favourite?