Chapter 6

CAL – Jesse’s gone

I saw Jesse a half-dozen times after she left the hospital. The first time I took her to lunch at the Mexican place by the railroad tracks. We got there early like I was wont to do. That meant that we had to help sort the pinto beans, an honored tradition for regulars. That was always worth a Tiny. I grabbed a water glass for Jesse and filled it with half the beer. It was fun, picking the rocks and detritus out of the beans. We talked about nothing and everything, laughing a lot.

I was amazed that she put away three of the fiery Chile Rellenos and a Tiny of her own. I felt really comfortable with her, but whenever I touched on more personal topics she backed off. I told her the funny and weird things that happen to interns and she laughed a lot. It was good just to see her laugh and have fun. I was worried about my feelings.

And I did have feelings; I couldn’t deny that. But Jessica was so skittish I didn’t know how to express my growing attraction. I couldn’t believe that other men hadn’t recognized the jewel that she was. I had to learn to take it slow with her.

The most fun was the day we went to the Zoo and the Museum of Natural History. She seemed the most relaxed since I had met her. I tried to call her regularly; feeling she needed contact with people to keep coming out of her shell. At least that’s what I told myself why I was calling her.

The last time I saw her was in mid-March when I helped her pack a rental van. She was going to get a new truck from her job so she was renting a van to take her stuff to Grand Junction. I was going to carry all the heavy stuff, but she surprised me again when I saw how strong she was. I kidded her about it, but she replied seriously.

“Cal, I’ve been working all my life. For too many years there was no man around our farm, so I had to do whatever needed doing.” She smirked a little, and continued, “You better not ever get me mad or you will find out how strong I really am!”

When she was ready to go, I stood by her window as she started the van to say goodbye. There must have been something wrong with her because she looked a little blurry.

After she was gone, I felt empty. It was like being in the sun on a warm day and a cloud passes over. You don’t realize how good the sunshine was until it was gone. Was Jessica my sunshine?

The girls I had dated and worked with seemed pale and boring now. It was a strange interlude for me: my internship was coming to a close and I had a new life awaiting me in Grand Junction. I was going to realize my lifelong dream and be a family doctor. I was excited about being back with my family. Even with the frequent visits through my school years, I really missed them.

So, with all my life ahead of me I couldn’t understand why everything seemed so flat! It was like one of those movies that start in black-and-white to establish the mood, and then fade to color and then back to black-and-white for the credits. After the color and life of Jesse, everything seemed lifeless and grey now.