Chapter 14: Vocabulary Problems

Apparently, Prince Sebastian’s body could do many things, but surviving underwater for more than any other human being wasn’t among them. Kai came back to the surface and inhaled noisily.

Three pairs of eyes were staring at him from up close. These guys didn’t have any idea about what personal space meant, for real.

“I think this water’s too hot. I need to get out.”

Galien pushed against his shoulder playfully. “Don’t even think about it, Sebastian. Life in the countryside can be quite boring. I’m dying for some palace gossip.”

“Kelonia is hardly the countryside,” Pepin argued. “Your duchy is famous for the beautiful balls your family throws, Master Galien.”

Kai wasn’t entirely sure whether Pepin was complimenting Galien or wanted to contradict him. What was sure, however, was that Pepin’s light pink nipples looked absolutely –

What the hell was he thinking now? His mouth was dry, and he had the crazy impulse of wanting to suck on Pepin’s nipples just to see how they tasted like.

“No way,” he whispered to himself. “I’m a total perv.”

“What’s that, a perv?” Pepin asked and moved slowly to his right.

Galien and Conrad chose the opposite side so they could face him. Still, Kai only had eyes for Pepin. Such dudes could only exist in BL shows. The curve of his neck belonged to magazine covers, and his skin was unblemished. His amazingly blue eyes were fringed by dark blond eyelashes that looked curly and long from up close. His lips were so soft, parted in slight hesitation, and so full. And their color ... just reminded him of the last time he had tasted strawberries. Not that they were that red, but surely they had to be just as delicious. He could still recall Pepin’s kiss as being the sweetest thing he had ever had.

Now, that had to be the steam getting to his head.

Kai bit hard his bottom lip and began chewing on it. That should do for now to stop the munchies.

“Sebastian, is it polite of you to ignore your guest of honor so that you can gaze upon your manservant? In a manner that leaves the rest of the audience rather vexed, if I may add,” Galien said teasingly.

Kai shook his head and frowned. Galien quirked an eyebrow and challenged him with a sly smile. “I heard you proposed to Pepin,” he said.

To his ears, Sebastian’s royal voice sounded petulant, like a kid’s that just got his candy taken away.

“You heard?” Galien chuckled. “That was three years ago, and you didn’t seem troubled by it.”

Ah, right. Nevertheless, he would not be caught wrong-footed this time around. “What I meant is that I heard that you proposed to him again,” he said triumphantly.

Galien shrugged. “And? What of it? Don’t you have Conrad? I must say,” his voice dropped to a seductive whisper, “that the fallen prince of Estfalia is even more enthralling than the tales made him to be.”

Conrad threw Galien a haughty look.

“A true challenge,” Galien added, “but not for you, dear cousin, of course. May I touch him? He has such gorgeous shoulders.” The way the duke rounded the vowels as he spoke was tickling Kai’s ears like some kind of ASMR. He put one pinky in his right ear to get rid of the sensation.

“Do that, and I won’t be responsible for the fate that will befall you, Sir Galien,” Conrad said through his teeth.

“So hot to handle.” Galien sank into the water and sighed in delight. “You’re everything I expected and more, Sir Conrad.” He made no move to touch Conrad. Most probably, he didn’t want to end up with a broken arm or something. Kai wasn’t sure he would intervene. After all, this troublesome cousin was why he was in such a difficult position right now.

Pepin stood at a polite distance, but Kai found himself drawn to him despite whatever his rational thoughts wanted to insist on, like how he wasn’t really a BL character, and he couldn’t find a dude cute.

“So, about that assassination attempt,” Galien suddenly said.

Kai straightened up and forgot about staring at Pepin. That was serious. As OP as he was, he couldn’t ignore the possibilities regarding someone trying to get rid of the obnoxious prince. BL story or not, he didn’t want to gamble on bad endings and whatnot. If this was a game, and his choices influenced the final resolution, he needed to take it all into consideration.

“How did you learn about it?” he asked.

Galien no longer looked like the social butterfly from earlier. His eyes were shrewd, and he was staring at Kai like there were words in there that couldn’t be spoken. What was that all about now?

“I have my sources,” Galien said rather bluntly.

Kai didn’t miss the short glance the duke threw at Conrad. Could it be that Galien suspected the royal concubine of being involved in that failed attempt at his life? But he had taken that poisoned blade right to the belly, so it couldn’t be.

“Conrad got hurt, as I told you,” he said out loud.

“I know,” Galien replied, and a small smile followed. “How is it, Sir Conrad, to feel so strongly for your captor that you are willing to put your life at risk for him? Sebastian must truly be an exquisite lover.”

Conrad set his chin high. “How crass of you, Sir Galien. One doesn’t mention such details in polite company.”

“Will you two cut it out?” Kai intervened. “Let’s talk about that assassin,” he added quickly, after two pairs of eyes set on him, filled with unspoken questions. “He was a dude about this tall,” he gestured, “wore all black, and he was really, but really suspicious. Kind of like a ninja.”

“What’s a ninja?” Galien asked, his shrewd eyes still inspecting Kai.

“A dude in black that’s really, really suspicious,” he replied in a deadpan voice.

Galien quirked an eyebrow, and his lips twisted. Then, taking everyone by surprise, he began laughing. “I see.”

“You see what?” Kai asked.

This time, the clever eyes left his face to turn toward Conrad. “Why even the proud prince of Estfalia would put himself between the man he presumably hates and a poisoned blade.”

“And why is that?” Kai questioned further.

“Because,” Galien blinked lazily as he looked at him, “you appear to have changed, just as the prophecy foretold.”

Kai rolled his eyes. “What’s that prophecy about, anyway?”

Galien ignored him. “You should allow Pepin to leave your side. I’d be happy to have him. Even if you touched him, I wouldn’t mind. I’m not exactly a chaste flower myself.”

That earned an offended sputter from the manservant. “I am untouched!” Pepin protested.

Kai put his arm in front of him just in time to bar a vicious but cute little dog from shredding Galien to pieces and turn the water crimson.

“That’s great news!” Galien said, seemingly unaffected by furious pretty eyes and clenched fists.

Kai turned toward Pepin. “Don’t mind my cousin. He’s just talking smack, okay?”

Galien clapped in unhidden delight. “What strange expressions you have added to your vocabulary, Sebastian. What’s the meaning of this word, smack? And where did you pick them?”

Right. He needed to watch his mouth. So far, people had been too afraid of the real Prince Sebastian to question his new quirks, but the duke was a different matter. He was Sebastian’s equal, not to mention a clever character that must have known the prince since they had both been in diapers.

“From some barbarians,” Kai replied. “They were talking weird, and it just rubbed off on me.”

He could tell even without looking that Galien didn’t buy such obvious lies.

“It might have been part of the prophecy,” the duke commented, and it was so clear that he didn’t think that for a moment. “Now let’s enjoy our bath. We’ll have plenty of time to talk during my stay here.”

It was on the tip of Kai’s tongue to ask how long exactly Galien intended to stay but stopped. He needed to act more royal, and showing how annoying he thought his cousin to be wasn’t at all along those lines.

“Would you like me to massage your shoulders, Your Majesty?”

Pepin’s voice so close startled him. “No, I’m good, I’m good,” he hurried to say.

“Maybe His Majesty wants Conrad to do it,” Galien said in an insinuating voice.

“No!” Kai protested loudly. “I’m like completely chill. I don’t want a massage or whatever.”

“Pepin,” Galien added in the same teasing voice, “be careful. It appears that your presence so close to our esteemed protector affects him greatly.”

Kai narrowed his eyes. “No, really. In what way?”

Galien quirked both eyebrows and then let his eyes travel slowly across his body, even the part obscured from view.

Kai looked down. His cousin couldn’t see through all that steam, right? Nonetheless, he closed his legs and placed his hands in front.

“I made you look,” Galien said and laughed.

Kai scoffed and turned away from him. And Pepin. And Conrad. Couldn’t they see he was suffering?

With the fluffy robe on, he felt much more protected from Galien’s wandering eyes. The duke was completely shameless, staring at each of them and commenting on their bodies. He was a wild BL character. Pepin had blushed while Galien praised his slim waist and perfect skin. Conrad had replied with small huffs and grunts as the duke proposed that he would pose for a renowned painter only so that he could look at him whenever he wanted.

The annoying cousin was, therefore, the soul of the party. They were gathered around a low table on which various delicious foods were displayed. Kai complimented Pepin on doing a swell job on the table arrangement and got a shy smile in return.

He was a great cook, and all praises were deserved.

“Why do you insist on not marrying Pepin off to me?” Galien asked with an exaggerated sigh as he delicately took a small canapé and admired it. His robe was opened in front, and Kai could stare at his chest. Did every dude in this world have perfect pecs? At least, it was natural for Conrad to have them, being a warrior and all that, but the duke didn’t in the least look like a guy who cared about fighting too much.

“So that you can keep him in the kitchen?”

Galien chuckled, making Kai shudder. Yeah, if he ever traveled to the modern world or whatever Kai’s real world was to these people, the duke would be an ASMR star for sure.

“Oh, but it is not the kitchen where I intend to keep him,” came the reply. “It is --”

“No, no, I don’t want to know,” Kai said quickly.

“Why?” Galien feigned innocence.

“Because I know you’ll say something dirty, like your bed or something.”

There was no answer to that. Kai examined his so-called cousin, and the dude just kept staring at him with the same sly smile on his face.

“What?” he asked, unnerved by that pointed look.

“Nothing. I’m just wondering whether you’ve been asleep or blind this whole time and just opened your eyes or --”

To his surprise, Galien stopped. His smile didn’t fade, but for some reason, he didn’t want to say what he had been about to say.