The Cursed Gift
Copyright© 2023 by D. Fritz
Chapter 11: Reading of the Will
The ride share driver pulled into a bus lane and stopped. She pointed across the street.
“This is the safest place I can let you out. That’s your building. Take the crosswalk.”
Cody, Shelly, and Carl piled out of the car and followed her instructions to cross the street. They approached a tall, but not nearly the tallest, building on the block. In the lobby they saw a directory.
“There,” said Carl, pointing to a name. “Stanley Herman, Attorney – Floor 21.”
The elevator was old and very slow. It took almost three minutes to raise the car to the twenty-first floor. The lobby on the upper floor was surprisingly modern given the downstairs entrance and the elevator. The floor was a gleaming hard wood with chrome-framed furniture. A stern receptions sat behind the desk.
“Can I help you?” she asked crisply.
“We’re the White family. Here for the reading of a will.”
The receptions glanced down at a pad on her desk and nodded.
“They are expecting you,” she said. She pointed to a door and pushed a button behind the desk. The door buzzed and clicked open.
Cody led his parents through the door and saw a large conference room at the end of the hall. He saw a bright orange flash through the glass door and chuckled when he realized it was Auntie Edith’s dress.
“You made it!” exclaimed Edith when they entered the room. She was standing at a coffee carafe. “Help yourself to coffee, then take those seats.”
Cody availed himself of coffee and then a seat next to Edith.
A large bald man entered the room and sat at the head of the table. He wore an expensive suit and looked more like an enforcer than a lawyer. He cleared his throat.
“I understand everyone is present?” he asked rhetorically.
There were nods around the table.
“Thank you for coming on such short notice. Mason directed in his will that it must be executed within three days of his passing.”
He turned a page and slowly looked around the table.
“The following is directly from Mason. I will be reading his words.”
Well family, or distant family, I must be dead if Stanley is reading my will. Let me get straight to the point. This family is a bunch of royal fuck-ups.
There were gasps around the room. Stanley paused for a brief moment without looking up from the page.
Ha! I bet that got your attention. Those that knew me know that I don’t mince words. I don’t think anyone in this family has lived up to the high family standard I, along with my predecessors, set over decades of hard work and exceptional success. Frankly, with luck, I hope this family dies out within the next generation or two.
There were no gasps this time but everyone in the room watched Stanley in stunned silence. He took a sip of water and continued reading.
As you know, I did not have children. With no children, I have to decide what to do with my fortune. I don’t believe in the church, and I’m not leaving money to a bunch of fucking dogs, so that leaves my family. I wasn’t a has-been fuck-up. I worked hard, invested well, and other than a couple of foolish trips to Vegas, have amassed a sizable pot of gold. My sisters are too old to do shit with the money, so I have to consider their progeny – one son and one daughter and their families.
Bradley started to interrupt the lawyer. The lawyer held up his hand and said, “All in good time. Let me finish reading.”
Lynn, my elder sister’s son, the oldest, which I still maintain is not an appropriate name for a fucking boy, works at a factory. Where’s the future in that? Luckily his swimmers are slow and he only knocked up his old lady once. What a comely child. She’ll be happy to be another stay-at-home mom and pump out more pathetic offspring. Shit, what an incredibly low bar.
Cody glanced to his mom and saw a steeled look on her face.
Then there is Shelly. She seemed marginally motivated through school. Like a woman who may be able to produce quality offspring with the right mate. But alas, she gets pregnant and can’t push the kid out without a medical emergency and in the end gets her baby-making bits taken out. The coup de grace? Her kid is the poster child for family fuck-ups. A data entry specialist? Making what, fifteen dollars an hour at almost thirty years old?
The lawyer took another drink of water and said, “Almost done.”
With the state of this family, I have decided that my money will be distributed in a reverse order of fucked-up-ness. If I give the most money to most fucked up, it is most likely that the family line will die out sooner than later. Therefore, my living sister, Edith, will get twenty-five thousand dollars. Lynn and his family will get fifty thousand, as will Shelly and Carl. While not specifically a blood relation, Bradley will get one-hundred thousand dollars.
Bradley’s posture softened slightly. He was mollified that he was in the will but pouting that he did not receive the majority.
The 2009 Top Ta-ta’s winner, Ms Vanilla Cones with a Cherry on Top, from Las Vegas, will also receive one-hundred thousand dollars for keeping an old man company on many a cold night. That leaves the grand finale. Mr. Fuck-up Numero Uno. Cody White. He will receive a one-time cash payment of everything that is left in my estate after any tangible assets are liquidated.
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