Chapter 20

I got up, got dressed, ran to Monique’s room and knocked on the door. “Gotta go do the chores!” I yelled in a chipper voice.

Monique groaned but got up, got dressed and met me in the kitchen. Grandma smiled at us as I excitedly pulled Monique to the hen house. “You need to learn to steal from the hens if you want to live on a farm!” I bounced like a little kid.

Now that Monique was awake, she actually giggled at my antics.

After we gathered our harvest and gave it to Grandma, I took her out to my four legged girls.

“This is Daisy and Amber. They are the very first two members of the Tommy Matthews Girlfriend’s Club, so they have to approve of you before you can join.”

Monique looked uncertain, but she washed her hands after I did and watched what I was doing.

“That’s my sweet Daisy,” I smiled at the cow and she mooed.

Monique giggled. I smiled. “Don’t worry, they’re sweet girls, I promise. Here let me show you.”

I showed Monique how to pull on Daisy’s teats and then took her hands and placed them on them. Monique, after a few false starts, eventually got it going. I saw my mom watching us and thought that I’d have some fun with her. “I think you’ll like Janie and Jennifer. They’re sweet girls and I’ve trained them to be great milkmaids,” I grinned,

I heard Monique giggle and my mother snort. “I’ll train you to be a great milkmaid yet. You see I have a rule. I only date milkmaids and cows.”

Now Monique was really giggling and was afraid that her efforts at milking were suffering. I couldn’t leave well enough alone. “I even taught my mom how to be a great milkmaid. But she’s my dad’s milkmaid, not mine.”

I then felt a swat on my bottom. “That’s enough, Youngster! I’ll work with Monique. You need to get to school.”

I whispered in Monique’s ear, but not quietly enough. “I love my mom, but she’s a cranky milkmaid.”

I then ran for my life. I quickly washed up, ate my breakfast, and headed for the bus stop.

When I got on the bus, it got quiet again.

What now? I audibly groaned.

Jake had to be the one to open his mouth first. “I hear that you’re gonna get suspended.”

“What am I supposed to have done now?”

“Nobody knows for sure. But it seems that Old Man Martin has it in for you.”

Well, duh? I thought, but actually said, “To my knowledge I’m not in any trouble. I’ve never done anything that could get me in trouble...” and added to preserve my reputation as a tough guy, “Well, at least on school grounds.”

“I heard you kicked the crap out of Tyler Thornbush,” grinned Jacob.

Both Tim and David cracked up. “Even I’ve gotta call bullshit on that and Tommy’s my bud,” laughed Tim.

“Walton?” started Mr. Smithers.

“It’s okay, Mr. Smithers. Tim was just startled and couldn’t help himself,” I said smiling at my new, improbable friend.

Mr. Smithers sighed. “Okay. Just watch the language, Walton.”

“Yes, Mr. Smithers,” he groaned.

“Jake, you don’t know what the heck you’re talking about. Thornbush is huge. Hey, I can fight, but there is no way I’m taking that kid down in a fair fight,” I grinned, to make my point.

Jake didn’t get it, but I could tell that both David and Tim did and nodded.

“Besides, it never happened because Tyler said it didn’t happen. That’s good enough for me.”

“I guess so,” said Jake, who seemed not so sure. I could see David and Tim’s respect for me in their eyes.

“So, unless somebody is telling stories about something that never happened, according to Tyler, how am I going to get suspended?” I asked.

Jake looked like his brain hurt. Tim and David just smirked at me.

When we got to school, I saw J Squared and they ran to me. I told them that I needed to talk to them at lunch and Janie looked worried. “Nothing bad, my sexy girlfriend. I’ll tell you two later, I promise.”

Janie broke out in a huge grin and Jennifer tried to find out what I said to our girl, but all Janie would do was laugh evilly. I did my heart good that Janie seemed to be getting back to her old self.

After homeroom, I walked into first-period English and beamed at my girls. I then said “hi’ to Angie and Laura before settling into my seat next to Karl.

“What’s the good word today, brother,” I grinned at my friend.

“The word is ‘girlfriend.’”

“What?”

“I want one.”

“Well, ask somebody out. I’ll put in a good word for you,” I replied thinking how strange that sounded, based on how unpopular I was just a few weeks ago.

“I don’t know ... can’t you just...”

I shook my head. “Karl, just find a girl and ask her.”

“What if she says, ‘no’?”

“Then ask a different girl ... look, Karl, I’ll talk to Janie and get her opinion,” I said, knowing that most of my friends had all connected with girls except for Karl. Even Tim might be getting together with Shelly Manners to see if they would work out. With Billy and Laura, Johnny and (maybe) Eva (as nobody really knew where they stood for sure) and Axel and Angie, that left only poor Karl as the only single in the group.

Mercifully Mrs. Douglas started to talk about Holden Caulfield. I wondered if my friend’s internal monologue sounded like Holden’s. After class, she asked me to stop at her desk.

“Tommy, I just want you to know that I’ve talked with Mr. Crane and Mr. Harris. We’re all concerned that the administration is trying to railroad you somehow. The three of us agree that you are our most promising student and we will do our best to look out for your interests.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Douglas. As you know, I got called to the office yesterday.”

“Luckily, you finished your quiz. You got a 105, by the way, after getting the bonus question right.”

“Thanks Mrs. Douglas. It was weird. I saw Vice Principal Thomas kind of glaring at me. I don’t know what I did to deserve his ire. I’ve never really met him before.”

“Nice use of the word ‘ire’, Tommy,” she smiled, before her eyes narrowed. “I have no idea what Joe Thomas and Perry Martin are up to but Joe asked me a bunch of insulting questions about you. He said you were a troublemaker. He tried to paint a picture of you that did not match the young man I’ve had in my class all year. Mr. Harris and Mr. Crane told me that he did the same thing to them. Of course all three of us laughed him out of our classrooms,” she said before adding, “I’m sure that he approached the rest of your teachers too.”

I frowned. “I’m really tired of this, Mrs. Douglas. I work hard to be a good student and to be a kind person in school. I’m afraid I’m going to have to tell my father about this. He’s a lawyer and he’s already cautioned Mr. Martin about harassing me. Mrs. Douglas?”

“Yes, Tommy?”

“I hate bullies. I used to think that it was just kids who bullied other kids, but over the last few weeks I’ve discovered that grown-ups bully other adults and they bully kids like me too. I’m tired of having to defend myself against adult bullies who should know better than to bully kids. I’m not going to take it anymore.”

Mrs. Douglas looked concerned. “What are you going to do Tommy?”

“I’m going to tell my Granddad, who is one of the richest men in Pennsylvania. Then I’m going to take the leash off my dad who is one of the biggest shark lawyers in the state.”

Mrs. Douglas grinned. “Aren’t you mixing your metaphors, Tommy?”

“How about I call my dad a junk yard dog instead of a shark?”

“That would be fine,” she grinned “And Tommy, The three of us will help in any way you need. Now let me give you a pass so we won’t give Joe Thomas any more ammunition than he needs.”

I thanked her and walked to my next class. I heard the bell on the way, so I was only a minute or so late for Period Two, History. I handed my pass to Mr. Crane and he smiled at me. “No problem, Tommy. We’ll support you.”

“Thanks, Mr. Crane,” I said as I walked to sit in between J Squared.

The rest of the morning went okay, but the rumor mill seemed in overdrive about me. People kept staring at me as I walked down the hall. As the great Yankee’s catcher Yogi Berra said, It was having ‘Deja Vu all over again’. At lunch, I pulled my girls to an open table and explained about Monique. I was worried that they might get upset, but I was surprised that they didn’t get angry at all.

“Tommy, you know you’re special right?” asked Jennifer.

“Me? I mean, I guess I have my moments.”

“Horse Hockey!” grunted Janie. “You’re her hero like you’re our hero. It is only normal that she feels like we do. If she’s as smart, sweet, funny, and cute as you say, I’m sure we’ll love her as much as you do.”

“I like your taste in women so I know I’ll love her,” grinned Jen, before she got quiet. “You know that I’m going to be your official wife, right? I mean, Daddy wouldn’t want it any other way.”

I thought. Jennifer was already making plans to marry me. For some reason that did not scare me as much as I thought it might have.

“What about Janie? I love her too ... and Monique?”

Jennifer laughed. “They’ll be your wives too, but you can only marry one of us officially. It will be like those ‘line marriages’ in those Heinlein books you and Mom were talking about. I can’t speak for Monique, but Janie and I want to have your babies.”

I hate swearing. My older family members have always instilled those values in me. I almost never swore. This time, I almost did, Instead I said. “Holy sh ... crap. You really want my kids?”

Jennifer looked around and when she saw no teachers looking she then Janie both gave me quick, but sweet kisses on my lips.

Then Janie looked into my eyes. “Before my grandmother died, she told me that one day I would meet the man of the dreams. She said, it could be at any time, but when it happens, don’t ever let him go. We found you Tommy. I know we’re young, but you’re the man of our dreams. We’ll do everything we can to help you get to wherever you want to go in life.”

“I can’t wait to meet Monique. I bet she’ll feel the same way,” smiled Jen.

“She may not be into girls like you two are,” I warned.

Jennifer laughed. “Of course she will. I bet that you only attract bisexual girls.”

Wow! Do three bisexual girls really love me and I’ve never even had sex?